VIDEO: Simple exercises to keep your knees flexible

Agent 17 wrote to say that it has been a long time since we posted a video of African dancers. That is true. The only one still extant is in "Swaziland girls doing the reed dance -- VIDEO!", posted way back in 2012 to celebrate Canada Day! [Don't ask why. Ed.]

To help out, our agent sent along this excellent (and short -- one minute only) video of what appears to be a traditional dance from somewhere in west Africa. Anyone with better information about what it is should contact Ed. at the usual address, or just put it in the comments section which will open up if you click on the headline. Thanks.



And a big thank-you to Agent 17. Hope you recover soon from your efforts to keep up with the video!

VIDEO: Amazing wedding haka

Walt has posted videos of wedding dances in times past -- the Swazi girls doing the reed dance is a perennial favourite here, for some reason -- but never anything like this haka performed by the guests at a wedding reception in New Zealand. The bride seems quite moved. What do you suppose she's thinking?

VIDEO: Swazi king goes to India with 15 wives, 30 kids, 100 servants

News from the Third World takes longer to get to Walt's cabin in the woods than news from, say, Springfield. Just in is a report from India's Zee Media claiming that His Royal Highness Mswati III, king of Swaziland, took 15 of his wives, 30 children, and 100 servants to India for last week's India-Africa Forum.

The report goes on to say that at least 200 hotel rooms in a five-star, $230/night, New Delhi hotel were booked a week in advance, with all expenses paid by the Indian government. Struggling to carve out a high profile in Africa, the Indians treated African delegates to lavish spectacles and even richer gifts, before the two sides shook hands on a US$10.6 billion deal for cheap loans and grants.

The Swazi Observer, a mouthpiece for the Swazi royal house, termed the Zee reports "blatant lies" and "totally fabricated". The journal did not, however, deny that Mswati III has 15 wives. Nor did it make any mention of the famous Swazi Reed Dance, featured here on WWW before, in which hundreds of virgins dance before the king, hoping to be chosen to fill any vacant wifely positions.

As a public service, we present a short educational video explaining the Reed Dance, taken by Shari Rogers in 2015. Ed. asks me to make clear that this is not a barbaric cultural practice.



Footnote: Wondering what happened to the video of the Swazi girls doing the reed dance that we posted on 1 July 2012? It's still there! You're [not "your"] welcome.

"No more killing albinos for good luck!" warns Swazi king

Even though it's been "liberated" from the "civilization" imposed by the evil white settlers, Darkest Africa remains a continent where old and barbaric notions and practices still inform daily life. One of the most powerful is witchcraft.

Witchcraft is used throughout sub-Saharan Africa to ensure sexual satisfaction, good fortune in business, and "fix" things like the results of soccer games and elections. Yes, elections, and they do have them, even in autocratic states like the tiny kingdom of Swaziland.

In fact, elections are expected later this year, and King Mswati III has already warned politicians against committing murder and other "acts of magic" to get elected. Ritual killings are common in Swaziland, and elsewhere in Africa, with practitioners of “muti” – a catch-all for traditional medicine and witchcraft – using limbs or body parts as amulets.

The king's stern admonition has not gone far enough to satisfy Swaziland's albino community. They are calling on the government for protection fearing their body parts will be harvested by candidates seeking good luck.

The Pretoria (South Africa) Daily News quotes Skhumbuzo Mndvoti, a leader of the community in the southern town of Nhlangano as saying, "Those in authority must make sure our safety is guaranteed. I can warn adults and parents of albino children to take extra care during these election days."

In the past albinos as well as epileptics have been specifically targeted. Another community leader said such albino killings regularly took place, but in the past were masked by rumours about albino behaviour. "People were told that when an albino dies, he would go and die far away where he or she would not be found. I think they were killed.", he said.

Mr. Mndvoti blamed witchdoctors who mislead people into believing that using human body parts will help them win seats to parliament or prosper in business. But the President of the Traditional Healers of Swaziland said those who misled people to use ritual murder to win elections or wealth were witches and wizards and not traditional healers.

"A witch is born and never trained but a traditional healer undergoes intensive training to heal people through traditional means," Nhlavana Maseko told the press. "We have a problem here in Swaziland of the colonial law called the Witchcraft Act which does not make a difference between a traditional healer and a witch or wizard."

Yes, obviously the wicked British colonizers didn't understand. Or couldn't understand. It's an African thing.

Note from Ed.: I couldn't find a picture of a Swazi albino to go with this piece, so hope this photo of some other Swazis will do. And we do have a video, currently sitting at the top of the WWW list of most-watched videos.

Walt Whiteman's World year in review

It's the time of year when there's not a lot of news. Nothing happens between Christmas and New Year's. So the media (Phil Space, Prop.) have to fill space [geddit? Ed.] With retrospectives on the year that was. WWW is better than the lamestream media, but not that much better. So, over to Ed. for a look back at developments in Walt Whiteman's World.

Thanks, Walt. Here's a quick summary of your blog's readership for 2012. Let me throw some numbers at you. 35%. 55%. 80%. That's right! 80%!! Daily readership of WWW did not increase by 80%!! But it did increase.

Most popular post, again this year: "Where next? Swaziland next?" Can't figure out why people in places like Russia, Turkey and India keep hitting this. I also wonder why no-one ever comments. Perhaps typing with one hand is too difficult.

The video sequel, "Swazi girls doing the reed dance -- VIDEO!", has just now started getting a lot of hits. As nearly as I can see, no-one from Swaziland has ever looked at either of these posts.

New record for most hits in one day: "Learn this new Christmas song...and pass it along!",  which rode the crest of the wave of backlash against politically correct "Happy Holidays". Bookmark it for next year.

Most popular foreign language post: "Charles DeGaulle warns about Muslim immigration". As we ran the text of le Général's prescient prediction in French, we didn't think many people would read it, mais nous avons tort.

Related post that's being circulated in the USA, Canada and not-so-Great Britain: "How can we be silent in the face of Islamization of our country?"
Surprise of the year: the continuing popularity of "Death by cactus: a prickly situation", posted on 26 June. I figured this would be a one-day story, maybe a week at best, but it has been one of the top three most-viewed items for the last six months, sometimes beating even the Swazi girls. Why do people read this? Or are they just looking at the picture of the saguaro cactus?

Where you are: Walt has regular readers all over North America, Europe (including Russia), and parts of Asia (including Russia). South America and Africa, not so much. Top ten countries (as of today) are: USA, Russia, Turkey, Canada, India, UK, United Arab Emirates, Indonesia, France, Australia.

How you look at us: The big three browers are the ones you'd expect, but the order of finish tells a story: Chrome (31%); Firefox (30%); Internet Explorer (25%). And Safari is now in fourth spot, Opera in fifth.

Your operating systems are: Windows (far and away the leader -- 78%), Linux (See? It still exists! -- 11%), with Macintosh, Android, iPad and iPhone not even at the three-quarter pole. Big question for the future: Will the advent of Windows 8 make any difference? Walt's prediction: No, because no-one's going to buy it if they don't have to. Lifetime pct .987.

Worst new technological development: Google's new and useless user interface for Blogger. Another proof of the old adage: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I keep thinking about changing platforms to WordPress but am just too lazy.

Coming soon, maybe even tomorrow: Walt's predictions for 2013.

Swazi girls slip to third place in WWW hit parade

Ed. here. I've just finished reviewing the WWW readership stats for October. We know who's reading Walt... and why! And we know some of you just look at the pictures, especially the National Geographic-style picture accompanying "Where next? Swaziland next?", an article about misrule in Swaziland that appeared way back in April of 2011.

But here's a surprise. The article -- and accompanying photo of the nubile Swazi girls doing the reed dance -- has been at the top of the WWW hit list almost every week since it appeared... until now. Two days ago it slipped to second, and today finds it in third place!

I can't understand it. Are men no longer interested in T&A? Or is it possible that every horny teenager on the planet has looked at it and finished doing whatever it is they do?

Walt and I will take the high road and not post the picture again. Well, not this week, anyway.

Swaziland girls now need visas to visit Canada

Breaking news from Ottawa, the world's second-coldest capital city. Amid mounting concerns over the porousness of Canada's borders, Immigration Minister Jason "Kenny" Kenney has announced that, effective immediately, visitor's visas will be required for those wishing to visit from St. Lucia, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Namibia, Botswana and... yes... Swaziland.

In a remarkably forthright statement of the obvious, the government said documents from St. Lucia and St. Vincent are "unreliable" because "criminals from these countries can legally change their names and acquire new passports."

Fraudulent papers are also of concern in the three African countries added to the list, along with human trafficking, especially of minors like those shown in this picture.

Minister Kenney has said that he personally will check out all the applications of girls such as these to make sure that they are what and who they say they are, and that all their figures are correct. "It'll be a tough job," he said, "but someone's gotta do it."

Swaziland girls doing the reed dance -- VIDEO!

Walt has finally figured out why "Where next? Swaziland next?" has a perpetual lock on our "hit parade". It's not the text you're looking at, right? Could be the National Geographic-style picture of nubile Swazi maidens?

Never let it be said that Walt doesn't heed the wishes of 1000s of readers. [Have you considered that it might be just the one guy, looking at it 1000s of times? Ed.] Here is a three-minute video clip of the famous Swaziland reed dance. For anyone who cares, notes on the cultural aspects of the dance may be found below the video window.



Umhlanga, or the Reed Dance ceremony, is an annual Swazi and Zulu tradition held in August or September of each year. Tens of thousands of unmarried and childless Swazi/Zulu girls and women travel from their villages to participate in the eight-day event. In Swaziland they gather at the Queen Mother's royal village, which currently is Ludzidzini Royal Village, while Nongoma is the site of the royal reed dance in Kwazulu, a province of South Africa.

After arriving at the Queen Mother's royal residence, the women disperse to surrounding areas and cut tall reeds. The following night they bundle them together and bring them back to the Queen Mother to be used in repairing holes in the reed windscreen surrounding the royal village. After a day of rest and washing the women prepare their traditional costumes consisting of a bead necklace, rattling anklets made from cocoons, a sash, and skirt. Many of them carry the bush knife they used to cut the reeds as a symbol of their virginity.

Today's Reed Dance ceremony developed in the 1940s and 50s from the Umkwasho custom where young girls were placed in age regiments to ensure their virginity. The official purpose of the annual ceremony is to preserve the women's chastity, provide tribute labour for the Queen Mother, and produce solidarity among the women through working together.

The women sing and dance as they parade in front of the royal family as well as spectators, tourists and foreign dignitaries. After the parade, groups from select villages take to the centre of the field and put on a special performance for the crowd. The many daughters of King Mswati III also participate in the Umhlanga ceremony and are distinguished by the crown of red feathers in their hair.

The notes are by Alex Ohan, producer of an excellent slide show of the Reed Dance. With regard to the last two sentences, Walt presumes that the king's daughters are ineligble to be taken to wife. Although, Africa being Africa, and Mswati being Mswati, my presumption might bear further investigation.