VIDEO: A word from our OTHER sponsor

Walt is pleased to note that hundreds of people are still checking out WWW every day, in spite of our not putting up any new and/or vital content.

They must be looking through the archives for politically incorrect social commentary. Most of what we've put up since 2009 is still there, and you can use the search window to find trenchant thoughts on, say, "illegal immigrants".

Sadly, the sponsor who sustained us for some 13 years has pulled out, like a Catholic who doesn't want to be a father again. To win him back, we're running the commercial below, to demonstrate the awesome power of video advertising.

You know it's a spoof, right? From South Park, S4E6. If you were fooled, even for a few seconds, that just proves what Walt has been saying for years, that there are certain products and causes which would we'd rather not see touted on the idiot's lantern.

That's it for the moment. When the political / religious waters start to heat up, we'll be talkin' at ya.

Walt is away

Ed. here. About 24 hours ago, Walt told me he was going to London, and I assumed he meant London, for the Grand Hoohah celebrating the 70th anniversary of the ascension of Queen Elizabeth II to the throne of Not-so-Great Britain, now known as the Disunited Kingdom. Her Imperial Majesty's Platinum Jubilee is being celebrated even as we speak. 

I'll give the Brits credit for one thing. They sure know how do to up a military marchpast. And the old girl tottered out onto the balcony of Buck House, along with her eldest boy, a real Charlie for sure, to take the salute. So we say: good on yer, Liz! We Wish you 70 more!

But I digest. Apparently Walt meant the London in Canada, not the real one. He got a deep discouont fare with City Airlines, and then this happened 

 

I'll explain the reason for Walt's trip in our next post.

VIDEO: New Covid variant hits South Park!

It's been years (really!) since I watched a full episode of South Park, since it's not on "free" TV any more. I don't think I'm the only one who won't pay for programming I'll never watch just to see one show, as clips from the latest episodes appear on YouTube within hours of being aired. 

In this one, set in the South Park of the Future -- yet strangely in the present -- citizens of South Park go into panic mode when it is revealed that Dr Kenny McCormick died of a new variant of the kung flu. Think about this as you're shopping today for turkey or toilet paper.

 

Panic over nothing. It's what Americans do best. But the South African discoverer of the Omicron variant is officially telling everyone to calm down . In a column for the UK Daily Mail, Angelique Coetzee criticized the global ramp-up of travel bans, mask mandates and quarantine extensions wrought by the new variant. 

"The simple truth is: we don't know yet anywhere near enough about Omicron to make such judgments or to impose such policies," she wrote, adding that there is still no evidence of anybody being hospitalized due to Omicron. "If, as some evidence suggests, Omicron turns out to be a fast-spreading virus with mostly mild symptoms for the majority of the people who catch it, that would be a useful step on the road to herd immunity."

Q&A about US vs THEM (includes VIDEO)

The events of this week demonstrate both meanings of "police killings". If this is a war between white police and black civilians -- notice I didn't use the word "criminals" -- whose side should the rest of us take? Walt has a few further questions, and some off-the-top-of-my-head answers.

Q. Why do cops shoot people?
A. For the same reason a dog licks his balls. Because they can. It's the nature of the beast.

Q. What kind of people become cops?
A. Sadists, bullies, people with insecurity complexes who like dressing up in uniforms and pushing other people around. Like Cartman here.



Q. Do white cops shoot only blacks?
A. Nope. The majority of people -- armed or unarmed -- shot by American police last year were white. Blacks and semi-whites (Hispanics) accounted for about 40% of the "deaths by cop".

Q. But blacks and Hispanics don't account for 40% of the US population, do they?
A. Not yet.

Q. So how come the minorities get killed more often?
A. Because white police -- and the majority are white -- have an "US vs THEM" mentality, which causes them to see all darker-complected people as actual or potential criminals.

Q. Why so?
A. Because blacks and Hispanics are more likely to be engaged in criminal activity, carrying guns and generally making trouble. Half a century of "civil rights" and the "progress" of which President 0 boasts have created a huge black and brown underclass which the nanny state can't control except by force. White cops are the agents used by the establishment to keep the rest of us -- of all colours -- in line.

Q. What can be done to stop the war between the police and the rest of us?
A. Errr, errr....

Further reading I: "Why Dallas Happened", by Paul Craig Roberts, Institute for Political Economy.

Further reading II: "The Color of Crime: Race, Crime and Justice in America", by Edwin S. Rubinstein, New Century Foundation.

Last gay toon standing? - Part 1

For over 40 years now, the large and influential gay lobby in the meeja and more liberal "Christian" churches have been trying to convince us that it's OK to be gay. Commendable, even, especially when someone who kept his/her gender preference to him/herself comes out of the closet. What good is being homosexual if you can't flaunt it?

That's why, beginning in 1972, TV shows in western, "Christian" countries have increasingly featured characters who are openly gay. This is especially the case in sitcoms, where it's become almost mandatory to have at least one gay character -- always the cleverest, coolest, funniest one -- to prove that it not just OK, but hip to be gay.

It all started with Peter Panama, a character in the mercifully short-lived sitcom The Corner Bar. [Was that the one with Sam and Woody and Cliff and Norm...all those gay guys? Ed.] NO! That was another corner bar and those guys weren't gay... at least, not all of them! Anyway, Peter Panama, played by Vincent Schiavelli, was "the first continuing portrayal of a gay person on American television".

In 1975 we saw the first gay couple, the lovely George and Gordon, in Hot l Baltimore. You can look it up. Inevitably, gay characters were introduced in cartoons. This was not done to influence impressionable children, of course, because we all know that modern cartoon series are really for adults. I speak of The Simpsons, South Park and Family Guy, which I admit to watching and from which these examples are taken.

South Park's Big Gay Al is a stereotypical homosexual man, known for his flamboyant and positive demeanor. For example, he almost always responds to the greeting "How are you?" with an upbeat "I'm super! Thanks for asking!" In the episode which sticks deepest in Walt's Mind, he took the position of scout master of troop 69, for which he was super-qualified, having been in the scouts since he was nine years old. Was it then that he discovered he was a homosexual? We aren't told...

The kids' parents were uneasy about a gay scout leader, so Big Gay Al was fired. But the boys didn't like the new leader -- a person whose sexual tastes were a lot more threatening -- and rallied to get BGA re-accepted. But Al rejected this, saying the scouts are a private club, and have the right to exclude people if they choose to, just as he has the right to express himself as a gay man.

Big Gay Al last appeared in "The F Word", which originally aired on 4 November 2009. For all his flamboyance (etc etc), he was, on the whole, a sympathetic character, kind of a warm and cuddly...and gay...teddybear. It was hard to dislike him.

But there was a dark side to Big Gay Al. In "Follow That Egg", we find him getting engaged to Mr. Slave (pictured left), who previously was the homosexual lover of Herbert Garrison, the South Park kids' school teacher. (Remember the name "Herbert"; it'll come up again.) Mr. Garrison starts a campaign to ban gay marriage, but fails, and Al and Mr. Slave are united in unholy matrimony. (It's worth noting that South Park is set in Colorado.)

Mr. Slave is far being a benign and cuddly character. His first major role was in "The Death Camp of Tolerance", in which Mr. Garrison learns that he can sue the school board if he is fired for being gay, so he hires Mr. Slave as his "TA" -- "Teacher's Ass". The lessons become increasingly sexual, and degenerate in nature, culminating in Mr. Garrison inserting the class gerbil into Mr. Slave's rectum. Not exactly the sort of behaviour you'd want your kids to emulate, is it. But there was no "Don't try this at home!" warning.

Walt also found offensive Mr. Slave's catchphrase, "Oooh, Jeez Christ!" or "Oh Jesus, Jesus Christ!", always delivered in a quavering lisp. He was rarely heard saying anything else. He last appeared in "201", on 21 April 2010.

Note from Ed.: Walt has the bit firmly between his teeth, but owing to constraints of space (and my patience) I'm going to have to divide "Last gay toon standing?" into two or even three parts. Scroll down to the next post to read about the other Herbert.

Acknowledgment of source: The information about South Park, Big Gay Al, Herbert Garrison and Mr. Slave was taken from South Park Archives. Many thanks.

Last gay toon standing? - Part 3

Having considered three openly gay characters from Family Guy and South Park, we turn now to The Simpsons, the oldest show of the three leading cartoon series, and the only one to have no character who is openly gay. The operative word there is "openly", and the one person that everyone suspects is a homosexual has not yet come out of the closet. Waylon Smithers, Jr., is not "open" about his gender preference. Let's just say he's "ajar".

What? You think this picture -- Smithers is on the right -- contradicts what I just said? Well, you have to see it in context. Smithers is the very willing and eager executive assistant, factotum and self-proclaimed best friend of C. Montgomery Burns, the owner of Springfield's nuclear power plant. That's Mr. Burns on the left.

Smithers worships the radioactive ground on which Mr. Burns walks. He has a picture of his boss as wallpaper on his computer, and even dreams about him flying in through the open bedroom window. Yes, Smithers loves Mr. Burns, but perhaps not in the way a man loves a woman... or a man loves a man... or, errr, you know what I mean!

On the other hand, perhaps Smithers' feelings for Mr. Burns are of a sexual nature. According to The Simpsons Wiki, most of the people of Springfield know that Smithers' is a "closeted gay man". Smithers is a confirmed bachelor, although he was once married to a woman. Sadly, the marriage fell apart when she wanted to have sex with him, and also referred to Mr. Burns as "awful".

Smithers has had a crush on Mr. Burns for as long as he's worked for him, but his love is never requited. The kiss pictured above is from "Lisa the Skeptic", in which, when the people of Springfield believe that the apocalypse is upon them, Smithers takes the opportunity to show Mr. Burns how he really feels. However, when it becomes apparent the "apocalypse" was just a hoax, Burns still remains oblivious to Smithers' feelings.

Ten years ago -- time flies so quickly in the wacky world of TV -- the producers of The Simpsons announced that one of the characters was going to come out of the closet, thus setting set off a firestorm of speculation in every English-speaking country, even the USA. Despite the Irish Independent calling Smithers "too obvious" a choice, 97% of the respondents in an online poll by PlanetOut thought Smithers would be the one to reveal his true colours. Imagine their surprise when it turned out to be Marge's sister, Patty Bouvier.

Unlike Mr. Slave, Herbert Garrison, and John Herbert, Waylon Smithers still appears regularly in The Simpsons -- a sympathetic and popular character. Star News Online named "Smithers' fey way" as one of the four hundred reasons why they loved The Simpsons. And in 2007, Entertainment Weekly named Smithers the sixteenth greatest sidekick of all time. They also described Smithers and Mr. Burns as being "TV's most functional dysfunctional couple".

What lesson do we learn from this, boys and girls? Walt suggests it's the wisdom of the US military's policy on gays in the armed forces -- don't ask, don't tell! Perhaps instead of proudly proclaiming their queerness and demanding to be respected if not, errr, loved, the LGBT crowd would be better advised to just shut up about it! 

Head of Mormon "church" summoned to face UK charges of "fraudulent teaching"

Here's one for the books -- the law books that is. The Fraud Act, 2006 -- a British statute -- says it is a crime to make representations which are known to be untrue, with the intent of defrauding someone else. The Westminster magistrates believe this covers preaching something which is false, in order to get someone to give money to your "church". The notion invites considerable debate over what's true and what isn't, and whether someone can be persuaded to contribute to a "church" by the power of preaching.

The magistrates have issued a summons requiring Thomas Spencer Monson, of Salt Lake City, to appear before to answer the charge of contravening Section 1 of the said act. Mr. Monson [Elder Monson? Reverend Monson? Ed.], age 86 [definitely "elder" then. Ed.] is the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, better known to most of us as the Mormons.

According to The Telegraph, two former Mormons [kind of has a ring to it -- "former Mormons" -- if they were farmers they'd be "former farmer Mormons". Ed.] went to the Old Bill complaining that seven Mormon teachings were fraudulently presented to them as true, causing them to pay an annual tithe to the "church".

The teachings which Mormons believe, but which the magistrates charge are untrue, include:
- The Book of Mormon was translated from ancient gold plates by Joseph Smith, is the most correct book on earth, and is an ancient historical record
- All humans alive today are descended from just two people who lived approximately 6,000 years ago
- Native Americans are descended from an Israelite family which left Jerusalem in 600 B.C.
- The Book of Abraham is a literal translation of Egyptian papyri by Joseph Smith.
Click here to read all seven (allegedly) false teachings.

"Allegedly"... Walt uses the word on the advice of Agent 3, recognizing that there will undoubtedly be considerable argument as to whether the teachings are true or false. After all, just because South Park doubts the veracity of the Word according to Joseph Smith doesn't make Mr. Smith a false prophet...does it?

We must seriously consider attending the trial, if there is one. (Elder Monson might choose to ignore the summons, since it does not purport to be issued on behalf of God or even Her Britannic Majesty. Whatever happened to the old customary language?) Said trial, if there is one, will surely make the Scopes Monkey Trial look like... errr... a Sunday school picnic.

If there is a trial, the verdict will be awaited with considerable trepidation by countless televangelists and, dare we say it, priests and bishops of the One True Church. Suppose the Pope were proven wrong about something which he taught (not infallibly), for instance that you don't really have to be Catholic to be saved. Could we then claim a refund for all those Peter's Pence we've given over the years? Doesn't bear thinking about, does it...

Budding career in cartooning nipped in the bud

For decades now, Canadians have been doing well in the exciting fields of animation and satire. There's John Kricfalusi, creator of Ren and Stimpy. And all those guys who write for the Simpsons, South Park and Family Guy. You knew there was a reason for all those Canuck jokes, eh?!

Jack Christie is a senior at Douglas A. Wilson Secondary School in Whitby, Ontario. He aspires to make people laugh and get paid for it, thus to rocket to the top of the cartooning heap, just like the creators of South Park, Family Guy etc.

And Jack has been practising. With his buddy Connor Brazeau [How's that for a Canajan name? Ed.] he has created three cartoon shorts which Walt predicts will go viral in about 35 seconds from now. Since embedding is disabled, all I can show you is a YouTube screen grab from "Jack Christie Talks to Children 3 - Run for the White House". Click here to see the video...if it hasn't been pulled down by the time you get to this.

Why should it be taken down? Well, Forces for Good at the Durham District School Board have deemed Jack's little opuses [opi? -- just say "works"! Ed.] a mite, errr, offensive. Apparently lines like "kill all the black people" and the assertion that Senator Joe Lieberman "sticks his penis in goats" are not politically correct.

Said board spokesthingy Andrea Pidwebecki, "If a student produces or submits work that encourages the destruction of an entire racial group, we’re going to report it. We have moral and professional obligations."

Ms Pidwhatever added that the matter has been referred to the school’s liaison police officer, Officer Barbrady. [Are you sure about this? Ed.]. She could not or would not comment on Jack’s statement that teachers reportedly found the videos -- this is the third in the series, so far -- funny. She said only that the matter had been suggested to him that he consider taking the videos down and that "he should be focusing on graduation."

Said Mr Christie, "I can understand why people take offence. Really, my problem in the end is people in power taking those films and labelling me as some sort of threat. I believe [that] does infringe on some very fundamental rights of the Constitution ... the right to freedom of expression and media."

Walt isn't sure that the word "media" actually appears in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. However, let it be remembered that cartoons are not required viewing. If someone is going to be offended, better they not look.

MJ - An inspiration to all...or almost all

In California last week a crazy pedophile died at the age of 50.

Meanwhile, much of the world mourns the passing of legendary entertainer and creep Michael Jackson. Clearly he was a model for many, including Canadian Prime Minister Steve Harpoon. After all, did Jackson not give us the Moondance, in which he appeared to move backwards but in fact went nowhere?

He will remain in our memories as (to quote Jimmy from South Park) a "cont... cont... continuing source of inspiration".