EXCLUSIVE: Kamala Harris speaks her mind

There has been a lot of talk, in the last few weeks, of moves by Democratic Party insiders to push Kamala Harris out of the Vice-Presidency, to make room for a woman who would be a suitable replacement for President Brandon for the 2024 election, or sooner, if his "retirement" can be conveniently and decently arranged.

Some of the rats in Ms Harris' office have already jumped ship. It was announced last week that Symone Sanders, the Veep's chief spokesthingy, would soon depart. Peter Velz, her director of press operations, and Vince Evans, the deputy director of the Office of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs [Seriously? That's his title? Ed.] are also said to be looking for the exit door.

What was originally inside-the-Beltway chatter about the competence of the first Indo-Jamaican-American Vice-President has spilled into view, threatening to chip away at Democratic morale. It is rumoured that Ms Harris would refuse to analyze briefing materials set forth by employees, but then scold them if she appeared unprepared. 

One senior staffer allegedly told WaPo, "It's clear that you're not working with somebody who is willing to do the prep and the work. With Kamala you have to put up with a constant amount of soul-destroying criticism and also her own lack of confidence. So you're constantly sort of propping up a bully and it's not really clear why." 

As is well known, Walt is a champion of fairness and justice for all. Audi alteram partem! That's my motto! [It means: My other car's an Audi. Ed.] So, as a public service, I persuaded Ms Harris to sit down for a little heart-to-heart. Here's her side of the story.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm in this rat race. It's not for the money, believe me. My husband is the money-maker in the family. You start in politics because you've got ideas. You want to try them out, to help people. 

At first, you're gratified by the response you get. If you win, you're deliriously happy. Then the honeymoon is over. After that, it's "gimme, gimme, gimme." Nobody's really interested in you or your program, especially if you're a woman, especially a woman of colour, especially a woman of two colours!

When I was campaigning for the Democratic nomination, I finally realized that the game wasn't worth it. I grew to hate all those people who lined up to meet me in city after city. It was all a fake. Fake enthusiasm drummed up by the back-room men. 

 The women in this country are full of shit. If they liked me as much as they claimed, why didn't they all vote for me? Anyone with an ounce of brains could see I was a hell of a lot smarter than Biden -- he has Alzheimer's, for God's sake -- and that Jew Sanders or that fag Buttigeig. I mean really! 

They were all liars and hypocrites. It was all lip service to the women's movement until the chips were down, and then all the women just peed in their pants and left me flat.

I think most women are afraid to have a woman a heartbeat away from the presidency, let alone in the Oval Office. They think I would crack up in a crisis and cry. Or that I have cranky moods when I have my period. As far as I'm concerned, most women are small-minded, petty, insensitive and stupid, especially the "Squad" and those bitches on "The View". They are all shits, not worth a dime. All of them.

I'm going to jump ship just as soon as my appointment to the Supreme Court comes through. (As President of the Senate, I can vote for my own confirmation, you know!) Then let them appoint Mrs Bill Clinton or, God help us, the lovely Michelle. See what happens then!