"Plan 9 from Outer Space" actor dies

Troy McClure died yesterday. You may remember him... [Wrong actor. Start again. Ed.] Gregory Walcott died yesterday. You may remember him for his role as Jeff Trent in Plan 9 from Outer Space, long revered as "the worst movie ever made". (Sources for this quote are too numerous to list.) IMDb gives it two stars; Rotten Tomatoes gives it 3.5, largely for its high comedic value.

The 1959 movie was a low-budget oddity written, produced and directed by the idiosyncratic Edward D. Wood Jr., himself the subject of an excellent biopic with Johnny Depp starring in the title role. Plan 9 from Outer Space slowly developed a cult following for its cheap effects and a ragtag cast that included the one-name TV personalities Vampira and Criswell as well as Bela Lugosi, in footage shot shortly before his death in 1956. And Greg Walcott.

To Mr. Walcott’s embarrassment, Plan 9 became a staple at bad-film festivals and the movie with which he was most often associated. The actor had already been in the hit Henry Fonda Navy comedy Mister Roberts (1955) and other movies. He said in a 1998 interview that the Plan 9 script "made no sense," but he took the job because one of the producers was a friend of his. "I thought maybe my name could give the show some credibility," he said.

Here's the trailer for Ed Wood.



And here -- I know you've been waiting for it -- is the link for Plan 9 from Outer Space -- the whole rotten tomato. According to the biopic, Ed Wood said, "This is the one I'll be remembered for." He was right!

Canada re-ups for another year of the Obama war

This just in from the second-coldest capital city in the world. Although Americans might wish otherwise, Canadian Prime Minister, Steve "Stephen" Harper has taken note of the fact that the Prez still has nearly two years of his second term left. Two years in which, if Mr. Harper keeps tugging his forelock tugged and his lips pursed over the presidential nether regions, Mr. Obama might change his mind about blocking the Keystone XL pipeline.

Not only that, but the Dear Leader Himself faces an election sometime between now and the middle of October. Mr. Harpoon would dearly love to make it a four-peat, and protecting the Great Formerly-white North from the evil Islamic extremists seems to be playing well with the frost-backed folk in Otter Haunch SK.

Steve's course was therefore clear. In spite of the fact that "ISIL" (as he calls it, because that's what Obama calls it) has already been "degraded" -- stopped in its tracks -- Mr. Harper has bravely volunteered his country's troops and treasure for another year fighting Obama's war, until the spring of 2016. And, yes, it's now officially a combat mission. (Body count so far: 1 killed in Iraq, 2 at home, total 3.)

One more thing... Canadian forces will now pursue the jihadis into Syria. Walt wonders if Mr. Harper will now change the official designation of the enemy to "ISIS". Walt also wonders if Steve has thought through the implications of following the Islamists wherever they go. Since the beginning of the year, they have extended the Muslim civil war into Libya, Tunisia and Yemen. Will "our" operations expand along with theirs?

Whether the Canadian government (S. Harper, Prop.) has thought about anything other than the political benefits of standing shoulder to shoulder with Obama is doubtful. Mr. Harper, like one of his heroes, Margaret Thatcher, is not one for turning.

All that remains now is to make sure that the brave Canadian soldiers and airmen (and/or airwomen -- whatever the term is) understand the mission. That is the point, Walt reckons, of this brilliant editorial cartoon by Brian Gable in today's Globe and Mail.

INTERESTING FOOTNOTE - JUST RECEIVED from CBC News. Iraq's attempt to retake the city of Tikrit from ISIS has run into a major problem. More than 80% of the ground forces involved on the government side are Shia militias. Many say they won't keep fighting if the US-led coalition (the one Harper is happy to be a part of) is allowed to conduct airstrikes. According to the Corp, the US has poor relations with the militia groups, many of whom once battled the previous American occupation of Iraq. Looks like the good guys (see above) don't want "our" help. How about that, eh!

Flogging a dead donkey

Every now and then, Walt comes across an amusing anecdote in Dr CZ's notebook, which appears most Thursdays in the (Zimbabwe) Financial Gazette. Here's a story that's worth retelling.

Herbert bought a donkey from Bongani for US$100 and asked him to deliver it the next day. The next day Bongani showed up on Herbert’s place. "Sorry Herbert," he said looking really sad. "The donkey died last night."

"Okay," said Herbert, "then just give me back my money."

"Sorry," pleaded Bongani, "I already spent it!"

"Damn it!" said Herbert. "In that case, bring me the dead donkey. After all, I did pay for it, so it's mine!"

Later that day, the carcass of the donkey was offloaded at Herbert’s house. A fortnight later, Bongani bumped into Herbert and, out of curiosity, asked him what he had done with the dead donkey.

"Oh, I raffled it," said Herbert. "I sold 251 tickets at $5 each and made a clean profit of $1150! I just made sure I didn't tell them the donkey was dead."

"But didn’t people complain?" asked Bongani in amazement.

"Only the chap who won," said Herbert, "so I gave him his $5 back."

Western and Muslim societies "irreconcilably different", poll finds

Here's a real news flash for you. Western and Muslim societies are different. They have different religions, different customs, and different value systems. And, according to polling data being discussed at the Metropolis Conference of the Association for Canadian Studies, most Canadians -- Muslim and non-Muslim alike -- think the differences are "irreconcilable".

Whether it’s the rise of Islamic State zealots, the killing of free-speech advocates in Paris and Copenhagen or disputes over niqabs, the polling, done by Leger Marketing, shows Canadians share in the growing global anxiety about sectarian conflict. 63% of Canadian Protestants, 62% Jews, 60% of Catholics and 46% of the non-religious believe Western and Islamic societies cannot be reconciled. Even 42% of Canadian Muslims believe the contrast between the West and Islamic cultures is too great to be bridged.

Jack Jedwab, vice-president of the ACS which commissioned the Leger polls, called the findings "a huge blow to interfaith dialogue". He said the belief of a majority of Canadians that the West and Islamic society are locked in inevitable antagonism echoes the thesis of Harvard political scientist Samuel Huntington, author of The Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of Political Order. Way back in 1992, Prof. Huntington predicted -- correctly, as it turns out -- that people’s cultural and religious identities would be the primary source of conflict in the post-Cold War world.

The Pew Research Center keeps track of such things. Its new report -- "Latest Trends in Religious Restrictions and Hostilities" -- confirms that worldwide social hostilities involving religion reached a six-year peak in 2012 and have remained basically stuck at that level.
Almost three in four global citizens, Pew reports, live in countries where religion-fuelled conflicts run the gamut from vandalism of property and desecration of sacred texts to violent assaults resulting in deaths and injuries.

What are the worst countries in the world for sectarian conflict? According to the Pew index, India shares that distinction with... wait for it... Israel. Next on the "Very High" list are the Palestinian Territories, Pakistan, Nigeria, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Syria, Somalia, Afghanistan, Tanzania, Indonesia, Egypt, Central African Republic, Iraq and Kenya.

What is the link which connects all the countries -- saving perhaps Sri Lanka -- on the list of "Very High" social hostility index? No prize for guessing that they all have Muslim majorities or large Muslim minorities.

What should we in North America learn from all t his? The polling done for the ACS revealed Canadians' concern about religion-related conflict is leading many to yearn for tighter border restrictions and less immigration from Muslim countries such Pakistan, Nigeria, etc etc etc.

Asked whether governments should deal with security concerns by "making it more difficult for people to come across national borders," 68% of Canadian Catholics agreed. So did 62% of Canadian Protestants and Jews, as well as 51% of the non-religious. Even 42% of Muslims agreed.

The two Leger polls of 2000 Canadians, including 500 born outside the country, were conducted in 2013 and 2014. They have an accuracy of plus or minus 2.9% 19 times out of 20. In general the polling results did not show marked differences between the responses of native-born Canadians and immigrants. Even the new-comers know a problem when they see one... even when they're part of it.

Illegal alien kills FL cop, dies of "natural causes"

There's something about Florida that attracts Walt's agents. Some live there full-time. Some go for a few months to escape the harsher northern winter. [You got that right! Ed.] Walt himself still has an expired FL driver's licence in his pocket. However, Walt has yet to set foot in Polk County, somewhere between Tampa and Kissimmee [pronounced with the stress on the second syllable. Ed.]

Agent 9 has added to our stock of strange but true Florida tales the story [verified by Snopes! Ed.] of an illegal alien who got stopped for a traffic violation, shot the cop who stopped him, and was in turn executed by Polk County deputies. No Miranda rights. No negotiations. Filled full of lead -- 68 bullets worth.

Just before noon on 28 September 2006, in Lakeland (Polk County's biggest city), Polk County Deputy Doug Speirs pulled over a speeding rental car bearing Kentucky tags, driven by Angilo Freeland, a 27-year-old native of Antigua who had been arrested on various charges in 1999 but had afterwards skipped bail. The fake driver's licence proffered by Freeland made the cop suspicious, so he called for backup. Deputy Matt Williams and his police dog, DiOGi [geddit? Ed.] were dispatched to the scene.

Likely sensing things weren't going well, Freeland broke from the officers and ran into the woods. He took cover in the densely forested area near a fallen oak tree that made him all but impossible to see. The two officers and the dog went into the woods after him, Williams and DiOGi working one area, and Speirs another.

As DiOGi closed on the suspect's hiding place, Freeland shot the dog in the chest from close range at an upward angle, killing it. He then fired on nearby Deputy Williams, wounding him in the right wrist, left bicep, rear left thigh, right leg, right buttock, and upper right arm. One of the shots penetrated to the officer's spine. Freeland then approached the immobilized man and delivered two shots to Williams' head at point-blank range, finishing him off.

Deputy Speirs heard the shots from a nearby ridge, moved towards the sounds of the gunfire, and was shot at by Freeland. The two exchanged fire, and the deputy was wounded in the leg. He radioed for help and made his way out of the woods.

Every available unit and canine team descended on the area. Freeland remained under the oak tree overnight, where a 10-member SWAT team found him the next morning. When they saw Freeland raise his right hand clutching a gun (one they would later learn belonged to the dead deputy), nine of the ten officers fired, hitting him with 68 of 110 shots. Freeland was dead at the scene.

When asked by the local meeja for a statement about the manhunt and its outcome, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd explained: "You have to understand, he had already shot and killed a deputy, he had already shot and killed a K-9, and he shot and injured another deputy. Quite frankly, we weren't taking any chances. You kill a policeman it means no arrest, no Miranda rights, no negotiations, nothing but as many bullets as we can shoot into you...PERIOD."

Sheriff Judd was reported to have told the Orlando Sentinel that his deputies shot Freeland 68 times "because that's all the ammunition we had."

The Polk County Coroner who examined Freeland reported that he had died of natural causes. When asked by a reporter how that could be, since there were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he answered, "When you're shot 68 times you're naturally gonna die!"

Another rebus puzzle for you

Clue: The place every cowboy eventually heads for.

R R R R R D

O O O O O N

U U U U U U

N N N N N O

D D D D D R

Answer in a couple of days.

Re-re-evaluating P.K. Subban

Poor Len again. [Hey! That rhymes! Ed.] Walt is feeling the effects of a large does of novocaine (not the movie) so I can continue my cost-benefit analysis of P.K. Subban, the Montréal Canadiens alleged defenceman.

There are still those who think the $9-million-a-year one-time Norris Trophy winner is the best thing since sliced bread -- pumpernickel, that is. They are wrong. Don't listen to them! Listen to me! I have maintained, as recently as last Friday, that Mr. Subban is a net liability.

Since then, les Glorieux have played two games. On Saturday night they vanquished the San Jose Sharks 2-0, thanks largely to the stellar goaltending of Carey Price. (Scroll down or click here for a nice little video of a meeting between Mr. Price and a shy kid from his hometown, Anahim Lake BC.) P.K. played well enough -- stayed out of the penalty box and didn't go nuts in the Sharks' zone.

However... last night in Nashville, Marc Bergevin's Great Non-White Hope reverted to form. Subban -- for it was he -- led the team in penalties, taking his first of two at 2:45 of the first period. As Mario Tremblay would say... poor judgment! But that wasn't the killer. Montréal weathered the storm, and Nashville's first goal didn't come until 9:10. Which defencemen should have stopped Matthias Ekholm? Andrei Markov and P.K. Subban.

The Habs scored twice in the second period and hung on to a 2-1 lead until the Preds fluked one at 7:45 of the third. At the end of regulation time, the score was tied 2-2.

In the first minute of the overtime period, Subban treated Nashville fans to an exhibition of his skating and puck control -- "puck-hogging" would be a better term -- doing a couple of laps around the Preds' net, walking the blueline, straight-arming opponents and so on. Did he pass the puck? No. Did he shoot the puck? No. Did he lose the puck? YES!

Gee, Len (I hear you ask), what happened then? Well, when Filip Forsberg took the puck away from P.K. at the Preds' blueline, with no-one between him (Forsberg) and the Montréal net, Subban did that voodoo that he do so well, and tripped him (Forsberg). Result, Nashville power-play, with the game-winning goal being scored 45 seconds later, with P.K. Subban in the penalty box, wearing the goat horns.

What does Dave Stubbs say about this in the Montreal Gazette? The penalty was "not remotely the result of a brain cramp." It was fate! The puck was bouncing! Forsberg accidentally stepped on Subban's stick! Oh, hahahahahahahahaha! Listen to me, Dave! Give up your job writing PR pieces for P.K. You can do a lot better writing for SNL!