Montreal Gazette can't tell players without a programme

 Our National Sports (so long as it's hockey) Editor, Poor Len Canayen, sent us this screen grab from the Montreal Gazette's story about the Montréal Canadiens' thrilling come-from-behind victory over Edmonton, at le Centre Bell last night.

Apparently the Gazoo doesn't both to send a photographer to the Habs home games, even though one could walk to the Bell Center from the alleged paper's downtown Montréal offices. The photo credit goes to a photog from USA Today.  

Poor Len wonders if the caption was also written by an American, or someone [from Toronto maybe? Ed.] who doesn't follow Canada's Team very closely. The player wearing la Sainte Flannelle, identified as No. 11, Brendan Gallagher, is actually No. 21, Eric Staal, who scored the game-winning goal in overtime. Someone at the Gazoo needs his knuckles rapped with a hockey stick!

VIDEO: Poor Len introduces a hockey show Habs fans should watch

Poor Len Canayen here. With SuperBowl coming up, it's time to talk hockey! High time too, because, since the beginning of the NHL season, Ed. hasn't allowed me any space at all -- zero -- to talk about how right I was that the Montréal Canadiens would be a vastly improved team this year, thanks to Marc Bergevin's genius trade to Nashville of P.K. Subban in return for which the Habs got one of the two best defencemen in the league -- Shea Weber.

I content myself with saying that I was right, and Dave Stubbs and all the other flaks for the "transcendant defenceman" (Stubbsy's phrase) were wrong. The Predators are having a mediocre season. Les Glorieux started off like gangbusters, causing some -- OK, me -- to wonder if they were going to finish the season with under 10 losses out of 82 games, like the 1976-77 club which still ranks as the Best. Hockey. Team. Ever.

First in their division, first in their conference, first overall in the NHL. Then came the 10-0 debacle in Columbus and we fans readjusted our expectations. The Habs had a very good record through October and on into November. Then came the injuries. I need both hands to count the number of regular players who were out of the lineup in December and January. Suffice it to say that at times it seemed there were more members of the St. John's farm team on the ice than members of the Big Club. Thank the hockey gods that Carey Price remained healthy, although arguably not at the top of his game.

In spite of the injuries and a pretty tough schedule in January, the Canadiens remain at the top of their division, and by the end of the month should be assured of a berth in the playoffs. The regulars are returning, one by one, with only Brendan Gallagher not able to answer the bell for tomorrow's afternoon game against OV and the Washington Capitals. Moreover, the Habs have added a good, experienced defenceman, Nikita Nesterov, acquired from the Tampa Bay Lightning. He scored his first goal as a Canadien in last night's rather shabby 3-1 loss to Philthydelphia.

Nesterov and the other Russians -- Montréal is beginning to look like the old Red Army squad -- are the subject of this week's discussion Hockey Inside/Out, a weekly quarter-hour of hockey chatted produced by the Montreal Gazette. It's a good little show that all Habs fans ought to watch, if only to enjoy "Knucks" Nilan's Montréal accent. Do all Canadians talk like that? Check this out...



Note from Ed.: This is not a promo piece for Poor Len. He is not one of the panelists on the show.

Why did "Dr. C.K." pay $20,000 for this ad?

Poor Len Canayen here with the first of occasional comments on what's happening in the National Hockey League, and the progress of the Montréal Canadiens.

Canada's favourite team opened the 2016-17 season in Buffalo last night, beating the Sabres 4-1. The new-look Habs played nicely as a team, absent the showboating shenanigans of P.K. Subban, traded to the Nashville Predators (as predicted here, ahem ahem) at the end of June. For P.K., Montréal got a great all-round defenceman, Shea Weber, who contributed an assist plus solid checking to last night's victory. I understand Subban got an empty-net goal the other night in Nashville, but, IMHO, the Habs got the better of the trade.

Some Canadiens fans disagree. Just before the last pre-season game at the Bell Centre, one could hear a few of them attempting to get a "P.K.! P.K.!" chant going, but it petered out when the puck dropped, and the disgruntled fans -- Anglos, no doubt -- were silenced by a first-rate performance by Weber as les Glorieux whupped the Toronto Maple Laffs 6-1.

But there are still a few die-hards. One of them, a chap who styles himself "Dr. CK" took out a full-page ad in yesterday's Montreal Gazette to say that the trade has changed the way the "lifelong fan" feels about the team. "Now, I feel anger, disappointment and embarrassment over the treatment of P.K. Subban by team management: the same sentiments that many felt after the Patrick Roy trade," sez the good doctor.

Then comes the praise-singing. "You are an amazing and influential role model for my children," the ad goes on, "and I am going to miss not having you as a Montreal Canadien."

When I read that and the rest of the anti-French drivel -- "Dr. CK" says (in English) he cannot support Habs general manager Marc Bergevin and coach Michel Therrien, and that going to Habs games would be a vote of confidence in their leadership -- I began to wonder about the true identity of the advertiser. Who could "Dr. CK" really be?

The general tone of the loose and omnipotent rubric reminded me of the many articles written by one-time Gazoo sports scribe Dave Stubbs, the one who called P.K. Subban a "transcendant defenceman". See "Poor Len Canayen explains Habs' Subban for Weber trade", WWW 29/6/16. I had described Stubbsy previously as chief cheerleader for Subban, and wondered (in fact if not in print) if Mr Stubbs was getting backhanders from P.K.'s agent to write so effusively about He Who Must Not Be Criticized.

Turns out the author of the ad -- which cost C$20,000 ($15,200 in real money) by the way -- wasn't Dave Stubbs, but one, Dr. Charles Kowalski. Interviewed by CBC News, the man behind the ad said it wasn't just about losing Subban. ​"I think the loss of P.K. Subban from Montreal, the bigger issue than hockey is the loss of his presence in the city of Montreal and his cause of raising money for the Children's Hospital," he said. "This is more important than the game of hockey."

Replying for la Sainte Flannelle, Donald Beauchamp told CBC News, "We have very passionate fans, and everyone is entitled to their opinion." Indeed. Poor Len is one of those passionate fans -- could you tell? -- and my opinion is that the Canadiens are a much better team this year. If Dr. Kowalski thinks so highly of P.K., perhaps he could follow his idol to Nashville. And one more thing, Doctor. Your $20,000 would have made a nice contribution to the hospital, instead of being wasted on this tripe!

Footnote: Yes, I am aware that Dave Stubbs no longer works for the Gazoo. I'm sure his departure from the sports desk in the middle of the season had nothing whatever to do with his adulation of the "transcendant defenceman".

Poor Len Canayen explains Habs' Subban for Weber trade

Last April 6th, in "Re P.K. Subban - Told ya so!", Walt's very close friend, Poor Len Canayen, wrote "Unless something startling happens between now and the end of September, I'll be back then..." Well, as reported here (first!) earlier this afternoon, something startling has happened, so it's with pleasure that I turn the keyboard over to Poor Len.

Shed a tear (he writes) for Dave Stubbs, formerly the Montreal Gazette's cheerleader-in-chief for P.K. Subban, now scribbling for nhl.com. Who will Stubbsy worship now that his hero has been traded by the Montréal Canadiens to (gasp!) the Predators of Nashville?

Mr Stubbs thought that the sun, moon and stars shone out of the arse of the "transcendant" defenceman. The Canadiens management and coaching staff felt otherwise, as did many of his teammates. But the club's owners (Geoff Molson, prop.) loved him... when business was good. When the team missed the playoffs and fingers started to be pointed, minds were changed, and permission was given to GM Marc Bergevin to do what had to be done "for the good of the team". Which is exactly what I'd been advocating for the last two years.

P.K. Subban is a talented hockey player, when he manages to not fall down. But it takes more than talent to be a true star and an inspiration to your teammates. You need good judgment, maturity and, dare I say it, a modicum of humility. Those are the qualities which, combined with hockey skills, made Jean Béliveau, Gordie Howe, and Wayne Gretsky all-time greats. Those are the qualities which, sadly for him, Mr Subban lacks. To him, the game was all about P.K., and the cheerleaders at the Gazoo must take some of the blame for feeding P.K.'s ego, which long since became too big for the dressing room. That was why he had to go... for the good of the team.

Now P.K. has gone to Nashville, where he should feel right at home. Southern hospitality, you know. He will get an especially warm welcome from Nashville's finest if he appears on Main Street dressed as in the picture at right. Oh, they'll love him there, that's for sure.

In return for Subban, the Habs got the Predators' captain, Shea Weber, an all-star defenceman who is older, bigger and wiser than the One whose critics were labelled as incorrigible racists. Weber is not only more experienced, but more reliable on defence. Yet he scored 20 goals and 31 assists in 78 games with the Predators last season, compared with Subban's 6 goals and 45 assists in 68 games for the Canadiens.

In a statement this afternoon, Marc Begevin said, "Nous venons d'effectuer une importante transaction qui, j'en suis convaincu, fera du Canadien une meilleure équipe. Ce fut également l'une des décisions les plus difficiles que j'ai eu à prendre comme dirigeant du Canadien de Montréal. Nous venons d'obtenir, en Shea Weber, un défenseur de premier plan dans la LNH, un leader exceptionnel et un joueur qui, selon nous, améliorera notre brigade défensive et notre jeu de puissance pendant plusieurs saisons. Shea Weber a dominé tous les défenseurs de la LNH la saison dernière avec 14 buts en avantage numérique. C'est un défenseur complet, avec un gabarit imposant qui possède un puissant tir frappé."

For those who don't understand French -- wen you come on top da countree you gotta speak da langue, eh -- the key part is the first sentence: "...an important transaction which, I'm convinced, will make the Canadiens a better team." Ainsi soit-il.

Guy Lafleur speaks his mind about P.K. Subban

Poor Len Canayen here. Walt has asked me to take a "work break" from my summer vacation to say something about the possibility that my beloved Montréal Canadiens might get rid of my less beloved P.K.Subban before his no-trade clause kicks in at the end of June. (See "Snoop Dog vs P.K. Subban... next year???" WWW 4/6/16.)

Not a word, not even a rumour has emanated from le Centre Bell following stories in Canada's Postmedia that the Edmonton Oilers were putting together a package with which to tempt Habs' GM Marc Bergevin. My own speculation is rooted less in inside knowledge than in wishful thinking.

But there's one positive to be taken from the Canadiens" dismal season. At least people -- even diehards like the cheerleaders at the Montreal Gazette -- are now willing to concede that something has to be done with the alleged defence star. Either trade him or find a way to make him put the team ahead of his own self. See "Parsing the Montréal Canadiens end-of-season press conference" WWW 14/4/16.

Some suggestions along the latter lines were made by one of the last of the legendary Flying Frenchmen, Guy Lafleur, who cast a few pearls on his way through le Centre Bell yesterday to the annual Prix d'excellence Guy-Lafleur. Richard Labbé, writing in La Presse, summed up M Lafleur's advice to his former team as follows:

Si le Canadien veut se remettre à gagner, il doit ajouter du punch offensif, et peut-être aussi demander à P.K. Subban de baisser un peu le ton.
My stylish translation: If the Canadiens want to regain their winning ways, they have to add some offensive punch, and maybe also ask P.K. Subban to tone it down a bit.

What follows is my version of the words attributed by M Labbé to M Lafleur. I hope neither of them will mind. If you want to read the version originale, click here.

These things take time. I'm certain that the Canadiens organization realizes that it's necessary to make changes to arrive at the quality of play we're seeing at the moment [in the Stanley Cup finals]. It's necessary to be patient, and not make changes just for the fun of it. We've heard the recent rumours. Is P.K. going to be traded? He's a very talented player, but no-one knows the answer.

A flamboyant guy like that, in our time, I think he would have been taken a hit with a stick behind his head! He would have been put back in his place quick enough!

Every player has his way of getting himself up for a game. P.K.'s the same. But me, I don't know. It seems that in his place I'd have found another way without annoying the others....

I was with Yvan Cournoyer in the corridor of the Bell Centre before a match, just before the warmup. P.K. was there, talking really loudly, hyperactive. I thought he needed some Ritalin! And Yvan looked at me and said, "Lucky he didn't play in our time. He wouldn't have hard the nerve." But he's like that.

He likes the glamour and playing to the crowd. He's made like that. But for me, it's not that which is important. What's important is to get into top shape before the September training camp.

Will P.K. Subban still be in Montréal when the Canadiens' training camp opens in the fall? Will he learn to control himself and remember that he's only one guy out of two dozen? Will he stop being himself? Tune in tomorrow when we hear Marc Bergevin say [We're out of space. Ed.]

Poor Len predicts P.K. Subban will not return to Habs lineup

Poor Len Canayen here. I have held my tongue -- speaking figuratively of course -- for most of the Montréal Canadiens protracted fall from the heavens. But, with less than an hour to go before noon on this First Day of April, I have a premonition which I must share with you.

The Habs' problems started with the injury to Carey Price -- all-star goaltender and most valuable player and everything else -- last fall. But that was only the beginning. There have been other injuries, players brought up from the AHL, players sent down to the AHL, players traded out and players traded in, all making it necessary to have a programme to know who's playing from one game to the next. That's a problem not just for fans, but for coach Michel Therrien and for the players themselves. I can almost hear them asking, as they step on to the ice, "Who's that new guy? What happened to so-and-so?" It's hard to play as a team when you haven't been properly introduced!

One play who has been absent for the last couple of weeks, by reason of injury, is the allegedly "transcendant" (Hello, Dave Stubbs!) alleged defenceman, P.K. Subban, who has been the subject of my rants for a couple of years now. Even before he was accidentally crunched by teammate Alexei Emelin, there was a lot of talk, behind closed doors and then out in the open, about the effect of Subban's gigantic ego on the play and the morale of the rest of the team. As Stu Cowan put it in the Gazoo last week, that ego takes up a lot of room in the room!

The silver lining in the cloud of Pernell Karl's injury, then, is that it gave other members of the defence corps a chance to show their stuff. And so they did, not always, but sometimes -- particularly in last night's game against the Tampa Bay Lightning. Mike Condon, the rookie backup goalie who has played in over 50 games, got his first NHL shutout as the Habs blanked the Bolts 3-0. He was ably supported by just five defencemen -- Nathan Beauliu having been injured in the first period -- of whom three (Pateryn, Dietz and Hanley) have played in only a couple of dozen games. All five did just fine, merci!

Beaulieu's injury raised the question of whether Subban, who travelled to Florida with the team, would return tomorrow night, when Montréal skates into the lair of the Panthers. The answer, provided this morning by Coach Therrien, is NO! Yet another member of the St. John's Icecaps -- Brett Lernout -- will join his three teammates, leaving Andrei Markov and Emelin as the only experienced defence duo wearing the bleu-blanc-et-rouge.

The official reason given for letting Subban watch the game from the press box is that he isn't ready yet. They don't want to make the same mistake as they did with Price, by bringing him back before he fully recovers from his injury. That's the party line. But the real reason (Poor Len can reveal) is for the good of the team! Keeping the divisive defenceman out of the lineup avoids any more fighting and finger-pointing in the dressing room.

And letting Subban sit gives GM Marc Bergevin the freedom to shop him around -- his no-trade clause kicks in on July 1st -- without fear that he'll be reinjured and thus of less value to another team. Poor Len predicts that He Who Must Not Be Criticized has played his last game as a Canadien. You read it here first.

Gazette's Jack Todd on the "Subban–Habs fault line"

Regular readers of WWW know that our sometime contributor, Poor Len Canayen (not pictured here), is a die-hard fan of the Montréal Canadiens, aka "the Habs". Poor Len is also mighty down on (not "down with") the Habs alleged defenceman, P.K. Subban. See "Is Habs' coach Therrien to blame for blaming P.K. Subban?", WWW 18/2/16. Spoiler alert: the answer is NO!

There's hardly a hockey fan or sports jock anywhere in Canada who hasn't taken sides on Michel Therrien's public shaming of Subban following either an accident or a truly bone-headed play in the dying minutes of Friday night's game against Colorado.

Opinion on the speak-your-mouth shows and in comments sections of the online sports pages and blogs has been divided, but leaning towards P.K.and against the coach. Demands for M Therrien's head outweigh those for the head of He Who Must Not Be Criticized. Sparing no expense to ascertain the true state of play in the Rome of ice hockey, Walt made the trek to Montréal to be present, along with Poor Len and a trusted Agent, at Monday night's game against Nashville.

We counted sweaters at the St-Hubert Windsor and Centre Bell Centre before and during the game to see which numbers fans were wearing on their backs, and Subban's number 76 predominated, by a long shot. Captain Max Pacioretty's 67 was a distant second. Also spotted were numbers 11, 13, 23, 29, 31 and 79. (True fans will know that two of those numbers have been retired, as well as who wore or is wearing the other four.) Which proves, I guess, that P.K. Subban is a fan favourite. But we already knew that. That's why Canadiens" owner insisted (over the objections of GM Marc Bergevin and Coach Therrien) on signing the sometime all-star to an 8-year contract at a salary almost as big as his ego. Good for business, eh!

The problem is which is more important, the hockey club or the Subban fan club. The sportswriters for the Montreal Gazette have been accused of being hopeless "homers" -- cheerleaders for the local team -- but that's normal, isn't it? It doesn't do for the meeja to be crying stinking fish in their own backyards. But Poor Len suggests that at least one member of the Gazoo crew is actually moonlighting as a PR agent for Mr Subban, turning a blind eye to mounting evidence of his inadequacies as a defenceman and disruptive behaviour in the dressing room and on the ice.

Of which writer do we speak? Not Jack Todd, author of a "special to the Gazette" piece which appeared on Sunday, headed "Therrien's rant reveals Subban–Habs fault line", which I commend to all true fans of la Sainte Flannelle.

Mr Todd has rather more respect for P.K. Subban's abilities than does Poor Len. [That's not saying much. Ed.] But he, alone amongst the writers whose thoughts the Gazoo casts before us, pinpoints with great accuracy the real problem of which the instant kerfuffle is only a symptom. Quote: With Subban and the Canadiens, the trouble goes beyond the coaching staff. The organization and the star defenceman have always been, if not at loggerheads, then at right angles to each other. Even as he has become the most charismatic skater to wear the CH since Guy Lafleur, P.K. and the Habs have come to inhabit different worlds. There’s Planet P.K. and Planet CH and it’s rare that the two meet, from Subban’s independent charitable activities to the team’s selection of its captain.

Exactly! So Poor Len is right to ask whether next year's edition of the Habs is to be Team Canadien or Team Subban? Is one man more important than the other 19? Can Subban win the Stanley Cup single-handed? Such questions about Subban's future with the Habs and/or the Habs' future with Subban must be answered sometime between now and July 1st, when the no-trade clause in HWMNBC's contract kicks in. Poor Len thinks the team must come first. Will the Molsons and the Molson Minions agree? Stay tuned!

Habs honour greats Elmer Lach and Dollard St. Laurent, RIP

Poor Len here. Dave Stubbs, of the Montreal Gazette, thinks I am racist, because I have no time for P.K. Subban, who Mr. Stubbs maintains is "transcendant". He is wrong about Subban, and wrong about me. I am not a racist, just a realist.

However, Mr. Stubbs is quite correct when he writes, today, that "No one does history better than the Canadiens, in part because theirs is so rich; no one does these farewells more elegantly, in part because the Habs sadly have too much experience recognizing their lost heroes."

He was referring to memorial moments planned by Canada's team for former players Elmer Lach and Dollard St. Laurent, both of whom passed away earlier this week. Sadly, the pre-game tributes planned for Thursday night were nixed by the National Hockey League (New York lawyer G. Bettman, Prop.) because they would take up too much time, in a game of great importance to at least one of the competing teams.

The magnanimous Mr. Bettman allowed the Habs two (2) minutes before the national anthems in which to say a few words. Very few, since it works out to one minute for each of the departed. But the Canadiens' management didn't let their lovingly prepared video tribute to Elmer Lach go to waste. It was screened during the first intermission, and posted on the team's website. Ed. was unable to get to the embed code to work [Désolé. Ed.] so click here to see it.

Elmer Lach played for les Glorieux from 1940 to 1954. At the time of his death, he was the oldest living member of the NHL as well as the Hockey Hall of Fame. When Mr. Lach's was born, the NHL itself had been in existence for a mere 57 days, and the Montréal Canadiens for some eight years.

Mr. Stubbs calls Dollard St. Laurent "a template for the blue-line pillars of his Original Six era, part of the bedrock of the Canadiens’ glorious clubs of the 1950s and a beloved member of the hockey community long after he’d hung up his skates." He was all of that, for sure, and also a model stay-at-home defenceman, the kind who (unlike certain present-day players who shall remain nameless) could be counted on to play his position and put the team ahead of himself.

CONGRATULATORY FOOTNOTES: A tip of Len's toque to:
Carey Price, the best goalie in the world, who won his 43rd game last night, breaking the old club record shared by Jacques Plante and Ken Dryden, and
Habs coach Michel Thérrien, inducted this week into the Québec Major Junior Hockey League Hall of Fame, and
Carey Price (again) for winning, for the fifth time in a row, the Molson Cup, awarded to the player most often selected as one of the three stars of the game, and
Dale Weise, winner of the Jacques Beauchamp Trophy as the team's "fourth star" -- the unsung hero.
Ils ont gagné leurs épaulettes!

Re-re-evaluating P.K. Subban

Poor Len again. [Hey! That rhymes! Ed.] Walt is feeling the effects of a large does of novocaine (not the movie) so I can continue my cost-benefit analysis of P.K. Subban, the Montréal Canadiens alleged defenceman.

There are still those who think the $9-million-a-year one-time Norris Trophy winner is the best thing since sliced bread -- pumpernickel, that is. They are wrong. Don't listen to them! Listen to me! I have maintained, as recently as last Friday, that Mr. Subban is a net liability.

Since then, les Glorieux have played two games. On Saturday night they vanquished the San Jose Sharks 2-0, thanks largely to the stellar goaltending of Carey Price. (Scroll down or click here for a nice little video of a meeting between Mr. Price and a shy kid from his hometown, Anahim Lake BC.) P.K. played well enough -- stayed out of the penalty box and didn't go nuts in the Sharks' zone.

However... last night in Nashville, Marc Bergevin's Great Non-White Hope reverted to form. Subban -- for it was he -- led the team in penalties, taking his first of two at 2:45 of the first period. As Mario Tremblay would say... poor judgment! But that wasn't the killer. Montréal weathered the storm, and Nashville's first goal didn't come until 9:10. Which defencemen should have stopped Matthias Ekholm? Andrei Markov and P.K. Subban.

The Habs scored twice in the second period and hung on to a 2-1 lead until the Preds fluked one at 7:45 of the third. At the end of regulation time, the score was tied 2-2.

In the first minute of the overtime period, Subban treated Nashville fans to an exhibition of his skating and puck control -- "puck-hogging" would be a better term -- doing a couple of laps around the Preds' net, walking the blueline, straight-arming opponents and so on. Did he pass the puck? No. Did he shoot the puck? No. Did he lose the puck? YES!

Gee, Len (I hear you ask), what happened then? Well, when Filip Forsberg took the puck away from P.K. at the Preds' blueline, with no-one between him (Forsberg) and the Montréal net, Subban did that voodoo that he do so well, and tripped him (Forsberg). Result, Nashville power-play, with the game-winning goal being scored 45 seconds later, with P.K. Subban in the penalty box, wearing the goat horns.

What does Dave Stubbs say about this in the Montreal Gazette? The penalty was "not remotely the result of a brain cramp." It was fate! The puck was bouncing! Forsberg accidentally stepped on Subban's stick! Oh, hahahahahahahahaha! Listen to me, Dave! Give up your job writing PR pieces for P.K. You can do a lot better writing for SNL!

Re-evaluating P.K. Subban

Ed. here. It's been some time since we allowed Poor Len Canayen space for a rant/rave about the Montréal Canadiens, so...

As we say in Montréal, merci/thank you! Assiduous readers know that when I write about the Canadiens, it's usually to wax acidulous about P.K. Subban, their vastly overpaid and overrated so-called defenceman. Unlike the hexperts at the Montreal Gazette, I do not refrain from pointing out his shortcomings -- see "The truth about all-star defenceman P.K. Subban" and "What's wrong with les Canadiens?" -- but for so doing, I get called a racist.

However... as the 2014-15 NHL season has progressed, the star's shine seems to have dimmed somewhat. Even Dave Stubbs and Pat Hickey can't pretend they haven't seen stories that hit the sports pages and even front pages of the non-Montréal media today. Here they are.

P.K. Subban fined for 3rd embellishment citation

The NHL fined P.K. $3000 (real money, not beaverbucks) for his third diving/ embellishment citation of the season. The incident occurred on March 12th during the Habs' 5-2 loss to the Ottawa Senators.

The NHL enacted Rule 64 to stop the tendency of certain players to act like soccer players, to wit by diving and embellishing assaults upon themselves in an attempt to draw penalties. Fines are assessed to players and head coaches on a graduated scale. A first infraction prompts a warning; the second draws a $2000 fine.

The fine rises to $3000 for a third-timer. If P.K. gets caught taking the plunge again, he's looking at $4000. And -- get this -- Montréal head coach Michel Therrien will also have to pay a $2000 penalty for the sins of the player he doesn't dare discipline.

Ex-Habs coach Tremblay slags Subban during DUI arrest

Mario Tremblay wore the bleu, blanc et rouge for several years, including four in which les Glorieux won the Stanley Cup. He coached the Habs briefly and, it must be said, not terribly successfully, and now works as a commentator and analyst for RDS. My point here is that M. Tremblay does know something about hockey and about the Canadiens.

On the air, Mario Tremblay is reasonably neutral about P.K. Subban. He's obviously read the memo that it won't do to speak ill of the media darling -- "a credit to his race" and all that -- in whom the club has invested so heavily. (C$9 million -- just over $7 million in real money -- per year for eight years).

However... when M. Tremblay was stopped by the Mascouche QC police for speeding and, possibly, DUI, he felt that speaking his mind might somehow get the gendarme to cut him some slack.

Constable Maxime Perron testified in a municipal court on Thursday that, even though M. Tremblay was chewing gum there was a smell of alcohol on his breath, so he asked the aging ex-star to take a breathalyzer test. "You can’t do that to me. I am Mario Tremblay!" the cop quoted quoted the former coach as saying. Then, "he compared me to some hockey players, [saying] that I was like 'a P.K. Subban', that I had no judgment and that I was being petty."

It would seem M. Tremblay showed pretty poor judgment himself in talking thus to an agent of the law. But... but... his judgment of P.K. Subban has the ring of truth, to my ears. In vino veritas...

Let's look at a few statistics, drawn from the Canadiens' website this (Friday) afternoon. P.K. has played in all 72 games so far this season. He's second, behind Max Pacioretty, in scoring, with 52 points -- 13 goals and 39 assists. Very good, but hang on...

Subban's a defenceman, right? Shouldn't preventing shots against his goalie be more important? Yes, but there's not much fault to find there, as P.K. is +18, the same as his partner Andrei Markov. All well and good but don't forget that he and Markov get more ice time than anyone except the goalies. And with the sensational goaltending of Carey Price -- forgive me for my expression of doubt back in November -- it's hard not to be on the plus side of the ledger.

Don't forget, also, that goals scored against your team when you're short-handed don't count in the plus/minus column. A good thing too, because Subban leads the Habs in penalty minutes. (That's not counting Brandon Prust, the team's designated fighter.) Subban's penalties include a couple for diving -- see above -- and a much larger number for plays which show... wait for it... lack of judgment.

Recognizing the need for a couple of guys who can actually be counted on to play defence, the Canadiens acquired Sergei Gonchar last fall, and the grey-beard can still get the job done. More recently they've added Jeff Petry and brought up Greg Pateryn, both competent players. So, all in all, the Habs' defence looks solid, going into the playoffs... no particular thanks to the 9-million-dollar, not-so-shining, former all-star.

P.K. Subban dresses like a... well...

Walt hates to say this [Yah, sure! Ed.] but you've got to hand it to Montréal Canadiens star defenceman (???) Pernell Karl Subban for knowing how to dress to project the image of a... hmmm... words fail me, but "typical Canadian hockey player" is clearly not a suitable description.

The Montreal Gazette ran this picture today with a story by Dave Stubbs predicting that le CH and Subban should soon come to an agreement on a new contract, for a fantastic sum over many years. Or (Stubbs says) maybe not. Maybe they'll give him another two years for fewer dollars over next two seasons, which would bring us up to July 1, 2016 at which point the defenceman who can't play defence will be an unrestricted free agent. [It was Walt, not Stubbs, who wrote the critical comment. Ed.]

Getting back to the subject at hand, P.K. may know how to dress -- depends on what you think is good taste, I guess -- but he'd better learn how to swing his very long arms (see "Is P.K. Subban a 'nigger'?") when the cameras are on him. Compare this photo with that accompanying the article cited, and you'll see that this "crotch shot" comes naturally. Still, it doesn't look good, does it.

Footnote: The conservatively dressed dude with Subban is Kevin Weekes, who used to play in the NHL, but was never subjected to the racist abuse that P.K. seems to attract. Can't understand why. Mr. Weekes, by the way, was a colour commentator [oh, PLEASE! Ed.] on CBC-TV's Hockey Night in Canada, but hasn't been seen since the regular NHL season ended. Maybe his contract wasn't picked up by Rogers, the new owner of the TV right? If so, Kevin should learn to dress more snappily...like P.K.