UPDATED AGAIN: Iowa caucuses: BIG RIG in progress

As a watery sun rises over the frozen, snow-covered cornfields of Iowa, [Get on with it. Ed.] voters, observers and the commentariat are waiting to pick over the entrails of the Iowa Democratic caucuses to determine who won, who lost, and who was most likely to become the Democratic candidate for the presidensity. Will it be (((Bernie Sanders))), Old Joe Biden, Fauxcahontas, or the paler, gayer version of the Prez, Pete Buttigieg?

But Houston, we have a problem! Hours after the polls closed, the number of precincts reporting results was 0 (ZERO). Dumbocratic officials told skeptical onlookers that there were "reporting issues" and "inconsistencies" which meant that vote tallies, and the number of convention delegates to be allotted to each candidate, would not be available until, errr, later today. Translation: We didn't get the result we wanted so we're bringing in experts from Chicago and Philadelphia to sort things out. Shorter translation: Rigging is still in progress.

I'm reminded of the 2008 presidential election in the Democratic Republic of Zimbabwe, which has been ruled by one party, ZANU-PF, ever since the country was "liberated" from the hated colonialists in 1980. In 2008, ZANU-PF's Comrade R.G. Mugabe was opposed by Morgan Tsvangirai, candidate of the Movement for Democratic Change. The waters were muddied by the presence of an "independent" candidate put up by ZANU-PF to split the opposition vote.

Early results from the first round of voting showed Mr Tsvangirai in the lead, to the consternation of the government-controlled Electoral Commission, which responded by suspending counting so that certain "reporting issues" and "inconsistencies" could be cleared up. Sound familiar?

Weeks later it was announced that Comrade Bob had topped the polls, but had failed to garner 50% + 1 of the votes, so a second round would need to be held. The election process was marred by violence against and intimidation of voters and opposition party workers, which eventually led to Mr Tsvangirai's withdrawal from the poll, leaving Mr Mugabe the winner.

Back to Iowa now. As Thomas Luongo wrote yesterday in "Can Bernie and Tulsi Survive Hillary's 'Urge' to Save the DNC?", the Democratic National Committee has its hair on fire at the prospect of (((Bernie Sanders))), a certified [certifiable? Ed.] anti-establishment democratic socialist, becoming the party's nominee. Even the 1/1028th Native American Senator from Massachusetts would be marginally more acceptable to American voters, they reckon, than the Brooklyn-born Jew.

Trouble is, Iowa Democrats didn't appear to agree. A number of polls showed Senator Sanders neck-and-neck with Mr Biden for the lead, with Senator Warren and Mayor Pete battling for third place, well behind the leaders.

What to do?! How about taking advantage of confusion caused by new rules to delay any announcement until paper ballots, tally sheets etc could be collected and "verified", in order to be certain that their preferred candidate -- step forward, Joe Biden -- had indeed won.

Wasn't it just last week that Rep. Adam Schiff  (D-CA) told the Senate that they must take away from Still-President Trump the power to rig elections, because the American people can't be depended on to make the right decision? The voters, he suggested, could be led astray by, for instance, the interference of foreign powers, and might be fooled into re-electing Mr Trump. So the Senate, Mr Schiff said, should pre-empt that possibility by removing Mr Trump from office and ensuring that he could never run again.

Is it possible that the DNC likewise doesn't trust Iowa Democrats to make the right decision? Is that why we're still waiting, as a watery sun rises over the frozen, snow-covered cornfields [Enough! Ed.] for the officially approved results of caucuses which began over 12 hours ago? Just askin'...

Footnote: The Iowa Democratic Party is saying now that the problem was a "coding issue" found in the app used to record and report votes. Robby Mook [Who he? Ed.] had nothing to do with it! Mr Mook was a campaign manager for Hellery Clinton, and was part of the project Defending Digital Democracy (DDD) — an initiative aimed at protecting elections from cyberattack — that tested the app ahead of the botched caucus.

UPDATE ADDED 5/2/20: The New York Post reports that the Democratic National Committee is "taking over" the accounting of results from Monday's botched caucus count as state party operatives remain unable to provide a timeline for releasing the remainder of the tally. I think we all know what that means! (((Bernie Sanders))) came close to winning so the vote tallies will have to be "verified" to bolster the totals for Mayor Pete. Stay tuned...

UPDATE ADDED 6/2/20: In case you didn't stay tuned, here's the latest from the backroom boyz at the DNC. This morning, chairman Tom Perez demanded that Iowa state officials immediately recanvass the caucus vote, amid fears that the delayed results could be "inaccurate or inauthentic." [Ya think? Ed.]

"Enough is enough," tweeted Chairman Tom. "In light of the problems that have emerged in the implementation of the delegate selection plan and in order to assure public confidence in the results, I am calling on the Iowa Democratic Party to immediately begin a recanvass." Looks from here like they're going to keep doing it until they get it "right" (read: not left).