A very Canadian crime story

Things are tough all across Canada. The country is in winter's icy grip. The natives are restless, demanding that Canadian "colonialists" respect their land rights, and blocking railway tracks to force the cancellation of a natural gas pipeline project in northern BC. The usual gang of antifa and loonie leftists have apprpriated the aboriginal protests for their anti-oil, anti-business, anti-white protests. The lily-livered arch-panderer Just In (for a visit) Trudeau does nothing.

Things are even worse in the western province of Alberta, where a major player in the oil patch, Teck Resources, has abandoned its Frontier tar sands mine plan. Teck's CEO says it's because "global capital markets are changing rapidly and investors and customers are increasingly looking for jurisdictions to have a framework in place that reconciles resource development and climate change, in order to produce the cleanest possible products. This does not yet exist here today."

The cancellation of the project means the loss of 7000 jobs in a province already butt-hurt from the years-long downturn in the oil industry. For many Albertans, unemployment benefits have long since run out, and other jobs just aren't available. In places like Fort MacMurray, if you're not working in the oil patch, you're not working. Period.

Airdrie AB is in the southern part of the province, not totally dependent on the oil economy, but things are still tough there, and people take desperate measures, including stealing from donation boxes at coffee shops. The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen are hoping to identify a man who allegedly used a rubber chicken to help him steal from a box at Tim Hortons earlier this month.

Inspector Knacker told the meeja that the man placed a rubber chicken over a donation box sitting on the front counter and used the prop to conceal the box as he left the business. The incident, which happened at the Tim Hortons in Airdrie on February 11th, was captured on camera. Today, the cops released a picture of the suspect, who they described as wearing a blue sweater or jacket, a balaclava and "holding a rubber chicken." Period.