Man starts new job, steals $17,000, then disappears

I'm sure Agent 17 would agree that it's time for me to stop gloating about Still-President Trump's excellent week, and write about something else, maybe something on the lighter side. Consider it done, 17! Here's a story from Hamden CT which is good for at least a bemused smile.

The man in the picture, whose identity, ethnicity and religion are unknown, was hired by the owner of the Go On gas station in Hamden CT to work the midnight shift, on his own, under the watchful eye of the store's security cameras.

When the store owner used an app on his phone to view the cameras and check on how his new employee was doing, he was shocked, shocked to find that his brand-new employee was nowhere to be seen.

According to Hamden cops, "[The owner] quickly ascertained that the new employee had left. [He] immediately responded to the store and ascertained that the new employee had stolen numerous items including lottery tickets, 89 boxes of cigarettes and money." Yes, money -- some $17,000 in cash -- plus the cigarettes and, oh yes, some lottery tickets as well. On his very first day at work.

But wait, as Vince Offer used to say, there's more! The suspect also managed to steal the employment folder containing all of his personal information. So the store owner not only has no way to identify the man, but doesn't even know his name! [Any bets on "Mohammed"? Ed.] In a FaceBook post, the Hamden PD warned people "Careful whom you hire!"