UPDATED: "Allahu akbar!" in Manchester UK

Today is Yom Kippur -- the Day of Atonement -- the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. In grimy Manchester, a post-industrial city in the Disunited Kingdom, there are two fewer Jews to attone.

And one less [insert whatever adjective you think fits] terrorist two. Police say they have shot a suspect in an attack outside a synagogue in the north of Manchester in which two people were killed, adding they are treating it as a "terrorist" attack. 

Greater Manchester Police said in a series of posts on X today that they were called to the Heaton Park Hebrew Congregation synagogue in Crumpsall shortly after 0930 BST by a member of the public, who said he had witnessed a car being rammed into people and that one man had been stabbed. 

Police confirmed that two people were killed in the attack, and a third person, suspected to be the attacker, who was shot dead by police. The Peelers could not confirm if the suspect was dead "due to safety issues surround suspicious items [read: explosives] on his person." Nor could they give any information on the attacker's identity, background, religion or possible motivation. The lickspittle media have already broadcast the usual disclaimers.

If it turns out that our suspicions are correct, you might hear about it on your local TV outlet, following the sports and weather. Or not. But you'll get the truth right here on WWW.

UPDATE ADDED at 1410 FMT: Suspicions confirmed! Here's the stabby Jew-killer, identified as a 35-year-old British citizen of Syrian descent, named (appropriately enough) Jihad Al-Shamie.

Inspector Knacker of the Manchester constabulary told reporters, "We are now able to confirm that, although formal identification is yet to take place, we believe the person responsible for today’s attacks is 35-year-old Jihad Al-Shamie." He did not, however, say anything about Mr Al-Shamie's possible motive. Sez Walt, "shame, shame on Shamie!"

Games that people play: "Liberal"

Thesis: This is a game played by men who desire to prove they are Tolerant and Good Persons. In it the Jerk takes over and gains great satisfaction.

Man goes up to the Pretty Coloured Girl in the office.

CHEESE: Hi there. How's the job going?

PCG: Umm.

C: I sure am glad they hired you here. I like to see you people get ahead. I'm a big supporter of the NAACP.

PCG: Wat dat?

C: How about having lunch with me?

PCG: I'm busy, man.

C (adapting): Well, listen, man. I mean like we'll splitsville and maybe swing a little, cool-wise. I'm a hipster. Man.

PCG: That's the strangest patois I ever heard. Have you a speech impediment?

C: Crazy!

PCG: Get your cotton-pickin' hand off my shoulder.

Aim: Cheese retires a Winner for the next two years he is able to tell the Other Fellows (Auditors) about the fantastic lunch-hour romances he has had with the PCG.

Social Advantages: The PCG, after a couple of experiences with various Cheeses, comes out against Integration. "Who needs those clowns, man!" 

Psychological Advantages: None.

Adapted (very slightly) from People Games, by Dr Otto Kitzenger & Dr Albert Schwine, Pocket Books, 1966. How far we've come since the Civil Rights Act changed everything!

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" - "NO!"

VIDEO: Poor Len reviews last night's Canadiens vs Senators game (?)

You know the old Henny Youngman joke: "I went to the fights the other night and a hockey game broke out!" Here's our National Sports (as long as it's hockey) Editor, Poor Len Canayen, with his take on last night's tilt in North America's most beautiful second-tier (state/provincial) capital.

Tank youse, Hed! Hockey fans in Québec (the city) are still pissed at Gary Bitchmann, the non-skating Jew who is czar of the so-called National Hockey League. It is he, and he alone, who stands in the way of the return of NHL hockey to Québec City, former home of the much-missed Québec Nordiques, who fell victims of wee Gary's drive to make "National" mean "American", and American only. Perhaps he's one of those behind President Trump's constant allusions to making Canada "the 51st state"?

But I digest. NHL hockey was played last night in the fine Centre Vidéotron, where the Ottawa Senators, the home team for the night, received the Montréal Canadiens in a thrilling match which delighted the multitude of Habs fans in attendance... Sens fans not so much.

       

Interviewed after the game, Habs D-man Alexandre Carrier said, "Rendu en troisième, on ne jouait plus vraiment au hockey." True enough. Between them, the teams racked up 152 penalty minutes in a fight-filled 5-0 victory for les Glorieux.

At the centre of the mêlée were the Xhekaj brothers, Arber and Florian, with two fights each. Florian fought Jan Jenik in the first period, and Arber and Jenik traded blows in the second. Then, in the third, both brothers fought on the same shift when Arber took on Zack MacEwen and Florian battled with Carter Yakemchuk near the Habs' bench. The brothers combined for 31 penalty minutes and were both ejected from the game, along with MacEwen, after those third-period fights. 

Also in the third period, Senators forward Nick Cousins was penalized for an egregious slash on tiny but terrible Canadiens rookie Ivan Demidov, who, along with Lane Hutson, put on a skating and stick-handling clinic that deserved a standing O.

For the record, the Canadiens' goals were scored by Oliver Kapanen, Patrik Laine, Alexandre Carrier, Lane Hutson and Kirby Dach, three of the goals coming on the power play. Assist went to Dach, Demidov, Hutson and Laine, as well as Alex Newhook, Mike Matheson, and Brendan Gallagher.

The victory was largely due to the fine work of the young players, but the contribution of the old pros should be noted. It was good to see Dach figure in the scoring. We hope doing so will help him regain his self-confidence. And Brendan Gallagher... what can we say except "We love ya!"

Last night was perhaps the last opportunity for players who are "on the bubble" to show that they deserve to stay with the Big Team when final cuts are made after Saturday's last pre-season game at Ottawa. Owen Beck, Joe Veleno, Samuel Blais and Zach Bolduc were present last night but did nothing in particular to help or hurt themselves.   

The best of the prospects, IMHO, was Kapanen, whose goal last night was the icing on the cake of a strong performance. My money's on him to be in the starting line-up for the first regular season game, along with maybe Beck. The season opener is October 8th, at Toronto.

We leave you with a pic from last night's game: Jayden Struble on top of Jan Jenik.

If you like your hockey like a good steak... bloody... this was your kind of game!

Footnote added at 1235 FMT: The blatant attempts of certain Ottawa players to inflict serious physical damage on the smaller and better Canadiens did not go unnoced by the NHL Department of Player Safety. Nick Cousins has been fined $2148.44 -- the maximum permitted under the agreement with the players -- for his vicious slash on the arm of Ivan Demidov. Hayden Hodgson was fined $2148.44 for boarding Alex Newhook. The money goes to the NHL Players Emergency Fund.

"Thank you for that question..."

Answers on the back of a postage stamp please to Walt Whiteman, c/o Poste Restante, French Lick IN. Or you can send it to any Dimocratic Senator or Congressthingy.

VIDEO à propos of nothing

It is fall. Let us begin the new season with something completely different. "But," Walt hears you ask, "why this?' 

My answer is that I know this song, and have known if for over seven decades. Let that inform those who keep asking how old Walt is and why he has the attitudes he does.

Or maybe not. An urgent phone call from Poor Len, who claims he heard it as a Boy Scout in Chibougamou (or someplace like that), prompted Ed. to make a search. He found this version, sung by Rodney Warnaklasuriya.

We therefore thought maybe the first version was an Australian corruptin of a Sinhala song, but a commenter adds this helpful information:

The song "Ging Gang Goolie" is a song popularized by boy scouts since the early days. The lyrics are not from any language, just sung in plain gibberish (edit: found out it is of Scandinavian origin, but still gibberish) so that, as I believe, it would break the language barrier between boy scouts from around the world.

Readers who have different information, or for whom this nonsense song brings back memories, are invited to share same. Click on the headline and the comments window will open up.

Poor Len's second look at the Montréal Canadiens,

Poor Len Canayan reports from the National Sports Desk.

Isn't it the truth I told yez, yesterday. A first-rate first line. Tic-tac-toe. Two goals in the Habs' 4-2 victory over the Phlyers of Philthydelphia. [Don't make me use Spellcheck! Ed.] After that, a brother act to watch, and not much else. 

For those who missed it, here are Canada's team's scoring plays: 

1) Less than a minute into the first period, Cole Caufield from Lane Hutson and Nick Suzuki. Tic-tac-toe. Beautiful.

2) Florian Xhekaj, his first NHL goal, causing his mom, watching from the stands, to cry tears of joy for Arber's little brother. 

Ty Thorpe and Luke Tuch assisted. Both were engaged throughout and deserve a serious look to remain with the big club.

3) Nick Suzuki from Juraj Slafkovský and Cole Caufield. Good on Slafkovský for coming back from a nasty slap to the yap, and showing signs of being ready to start playing seriously before mid-season.

4) Arber Xhekaj, into an empty net in the last minute of play... on the second try!

That's just about all ye need to know, except that Arber Xhekaj is going to wind up as the seventh defenceman unless he can learn to keep his temper under control and pick his spots more carefully. In the third period, with the score 3-1 Habs, he was tripped in the Flyers corner, drawing a penalty. But then, right under the eys of the refugee, he skated up behind the penalized player and gave him a shot in the back, hoping to start a fight. The Phlyer didn't bite.  Result: 2 minutes for the Flyer and 4 minutes for roughint to Xhekaj, and a power play goal for Philly.

Jakub Dobes played goal for les Glorieux for the first half of the game and looked solid. His replacement for the second 30 minutes was the much-travelled Kaapo Kähkönen, a UFA who signed with the Habs from one year in July. About ten seconds after he took his position between the pipes, he got scored on. He looked even worse, on the Flyers' second goal, just a few minutes later. 

He redeemed himself (partially) with a good sprawling stop on a breakaway later, but let's just say that he's in no danger of being called on during the regular season unless Sam Montembault, Jakub Dobes and Jacob Fowler all get sick or hurt on the same day Sorry, Kaapo.

Afterthought: Who told Lane Hutson that he's a defenceman? With his speed, skating, stick-handling and playmaking skills, plus a decent shot, and considering his diminutive size, shouldn't he be playing on a forward line? Mind you, he effectively plays a forward's role when he quarterbacks the power play, but still... 

Further reading (great minds think alike dept.): "Observations et impressions après deux matchs préparatoires", par Richard Labbé, La Presse, 24/9/25.