Beginning of the end for Castro Communist Cuba?

Agent 10 is excited this morning by the latest news from the People's Democratic Republic of Cuba. Minions of the Cuban government today warned airlines that there isn't enough fuel on the island for airplanes to refuel. Seems that POTUS, by cutting Cuba off from its Venezuelan and Mexican fuel sources, has driven another nail into the coffin of Castro Communism.

NOTAMs (notices to airlines and pilots) were published on Sunday night, warning that jet fuel won’t be available at nine airports across the island, including José Martí International Airport in Havana, starting Tuesday and continuing until March 11th... at least. After President Trump signed the executive order imposing a tariff on any goods from countries that sell or provide oil to Cuba, the country now faces an unprecedented energy crisis.

The desperate rationing of jet fuel may not disrupt shorter regional flights, but presents a significant challenge for long-haul routes from countries like Russia and Canada which have been mainstay's of Cuba's tourism economy. The fuel shortage deals another blow to a country that relies heavily on tourism, an industry that once generated $3 billion in annual revenue and served as a vital economic lifeline. 

But it's not only jet fuel that is in short supply... or no supply. Agent 10 reports that in her hometown, in the centre of the island (not Havana), there is no electricity for 20 hours per day. And no electricity means no water. This picture, of people cooking over an open fire in the streets of Havana, shows what things have come to for the ordinary people of Cuba -- victims of 73 years of Communist misrule.

Minions of the Cuban government announced yesterday that bank hours have been reduced and cultural events suspended. In Havana. The public bus system has effectively ground to a halt, leaving residents stranded as endemic power outages and grueling fuel lines reach a breaking point. 

The energy crisis has forced the suspension of major events like the Havana International Book Fair this past weekend and a restructuring of the national baseball season for greater efficiency. Some banks have cut operating hours and fuel distribution companies said they would no longer sell gas in Cuban pesos. Sales will be made in real money -- Yanqui dollars -- and limited to 20 litres per user. 

The latest measures add to others announced Friday, including cuts to bus transportation and limited train departures. Last Thursday, Cuban President Miguel Díaz-Canel delivered a two-hour televised address, acknowledging the impact and warning that measures would be taken in the coming days. 

American sanctions against Cuba have been in place for more than six decades and have long stunted Cuba’s economy. But they reached new extremes after a US military operation deposed former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, and POTUS began to take an even more confrontational tone toward Latin America. 

For the ordinary people of Cuba, the crisis has translated into power outages lasting up to 10 hours, fuel shortages for vehicles, and a lack of food or medicine that many compare to the severe economic depression in the 1990s known as the "Special Period" that followed cuts in aid from what was then the Soviet Union.

This means things are going to get worse... much worse... before the Communist regime can be overthrown. But the ordinary Cuban people, such as Agent 10's family, say, "We are willing to pay the price. Bring it on!"

VIDEO: Hot new attraction at Niagara Falls (the good side)

Agent 78 has called our attention to a video promoting "Niagara Takes Flight", the brand new catchpenny attraction on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. It's a fully-immersive flying theatre ride, taking visitors to the skies for a breathtaking journey along the Niagara River corridor, with thrilling views of Niagara Falls and its surrounding landscape from the sky.

Sez the promotional copy, "You'll soar across 56 kilometres of parkland, from the shores of Lake Ontario to the edge of Lake Erie, as breathtaking landscapes unfold beneath you. Gliding over swirling rapids and steep rock faces, past lush forests and through dramatic battles that changed the course of history, all before getting closer than ever before to the thundering Horseshoe Falls."

Cinematic visuals shot across all four seasons unfold on a 55-foot dome screen while motion-based and other sensory effects like wind, mist and scent come together to create the exhilarating illusion of free flight. 

There is a pre-show voiced by James Cameron (yes, that James Cameron) which is heavy with woke "land acknowledgment" propaganda -- how the Indians First Nations saved the falls from the rapacious white colonizers.

There's almost no attempt to explain the historical moments and sites shown on the screen, but hey, the ride's the thing, and I think the Niagara Parks Commission -- kudos to them! -- hopes at least a few of the tourists will visit the other sites shown and learn that there's much more to Niagara than just the falls! Tell `em Walt sent ya!

Canadians no longer welcome American tourists. Sorry!

Poor Len Canayen reports that the booing of the Star-spangled Banner at hockey games held in Canada has abated. This is due to ritualized announcements before the fat lady sings [Wut? Cheralyn Toca "fat"? Hardly! Ed.] urging the fans to forget about "the current unpleasantness" and show some respect for the game and those who play it, no matter what sweaters they wear. 

Nevertheless, visiting Americans, whether hockey players or tourists, are noticing a distinct cooling in Canucks' attitudes to their guests. Seems the frostbacks don't like being insulted by the Donald, with all his "51st state" bullshit. And there's always been that kind of smugness about being better educated and less parochial than the average American. You know, the kind you see on Judge Judy.

Our suspicions that they really just want Americans to come to their country to "Keep Canada green! Bring US dollars!" were confirmed when Len passed along this leaked copy of a memorandum from the Canadian Chamber of Commerce, which instructs Canucks in how to "get even" with the Yankee invaders while still taking their greenbacks.

Eleven ways for Canadians to annoy Americans 

1. Talk really slowly, enunciating every syllable. 

2. Refer to the United States as "the eleventh province". 

3. Frisk them for weapons. 

4. Intentionally mispronounce rapper Jay-Z's name "Jay-Zed". 

5. Flash your all-inclusive Free Health Card. 

6. "Maple syrup or grits? Yeah there's a tough choice." 

7. Tell them they couldn't possibly be American; they're not obese enough. 

8. When in conversation, ask them to repeat themselves, saying, "I'm sorry ,I just can't understand your accent". 

9. "The next 'Bachelor' is Canadian. Now you'll see how a real man deals with the ladies". 

10. "New York? Where is that exactly?"

11. When they commend your politeness, tell them to fuck off. 

It's possible this document might be bogus, or that Len has already started celebrating the Habs' gaining entry into the NHL playoffs for the first time in years, but, dear American readers, if you visit Canada this summer, don't expect an unequivocal welcome.

UPDATED: Thinking of visiting Niagara Falls? Think again!

Walt has received a letter from an American friend who's visiting Niagara Falls, Canada, for some cheap shopping. (The US greenback is worth 1.37 beaverbucks so it's no wonder the mall parking lots are full of cars with US licence plates.)

If you're thinking of visiting the Honeymoon Capital of Canada [he writes], book your hotel room now, and don't be surprised if you have to share space, in the hotel and everywhere in Niagara Falls, with folks like this. 

This pic appeared in the Toronto Sun on Friday. Niagara Falls has welcomed (???) nearly 5000 of these bogus refugees and asylum-seekers, who crossed the porous US-Canada border at Roxham Road, and were sent by the Liberal government to Niagara Falls because the government of Québec said they couldn't and wouldn't take any more.

Trudeau's ministry of DEI has booked another 500 (FIVE HUNDRED) rooms in NF hotels to house these benefit shoppers, many of whom were sent north by Brandon after having entered the USA illegally from Mexico, through the gaps in Trump's wall.

Some, like this chap (dressed as he is for the Canadian winter), came to the New York from Africa, and were given bus tickets to Roxham Road, which they took gratefully because Canadians will immediately give them shelter -- rooms in previously five-star hotels -- food (from food banks), free medicare, free taxi rides, etc etc, all paid for by you know who.

Let's see. Another 500 hotel rooms at, say, 5 or more per room, would be another 2500 to go with the >5000 who have arrived since November. Perhaps they will help Niagara's tourist attractions though. Since they don't have to work -- indeed they can't work! -- they have lots of time, and lots of Canuck taxpayers' money to spend seeing the sights. Hope genuine tourists don't mind sharing!

Looks like Trudeau has pulled the ole switcheroo on this one... locking the barn door (except for 15,000 more who he promised just yesterday to admit without any screening or questioning) AFTER the swine have gone inside. Pretty smart for him, damn gringo!

UPDATE added at 2200: A reader has commented (thank you) that the situation is even more dire in Brockville ON -- closer to the Québec border -- than Niagara Falls. Another has email to say that the3 same situation obrains in Wndsor ON, just across the border from Detroit MI. Why they are sending all these flotsam and jetsam to border towns is inexplicable. Maybe they're hoping that they'll make the jump south to get back into the USA???

Anti-Trumpers welcome in Australia's Northern Territory

The Northern Territory (NT) is the north-central sixth of Australia. Most of it is hot and dry as Billy-be-damned. That's where you'll find Uluru, the aboriginal name for what Bruce and the guys used to call Ayer's Rock. There's a strip along the north coast which isn't hot and dry. It's hot and wet, home to some of the world's largest crocodiles.

Charming place. But they welcome tourists, maybe even immigrants. Maybe even Americans keen to leave Donald Trump's "Amerikkka". (I saw that on a sign being held up by a protester who's obviously going to have trouble adjusting.) In fact an organization called "NT Official" has started a new campaign to "promote travel awareness to the Northern Territory region". Here's one of their ads.

A press release from NT Official said, "We want people to recognise that if they want to go to the NT they shouldn't hesitate. They should just go and tell their friends to 'CU in the NT!'"

Thanks to Agent 6 for sending this along.

Niagara Falls in danger from those who should protect it

This is Niagara Falls. [Yeah. We read the caption! Ed.] More accurately, it's the Canadian or Horseshoe Falls, which, together with the American and Bridal Veil Falls on the US side of the river constitute "Niagara Falls". Niagara Falls is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. And it is in danger.

The danger comes, as it has since the day when Father Hennepin first laid eyes on it, from human activity. Nowadays, Niagara Falls looks pretty good, compared with what it was towards the end of the 19th century. By that time, tourism and other industry had almost obscured the natural beauty of the falls.

The American side was lined with heavy and very dirty industries, taking advantage of cheap power and churning out tons of chemical and other pollutants. On the Canadian side, "the Front" -- the roadway seen in the photo -- had become a cross between the Vegas strip and a carnival midway. It was lined with tacky stores, saloons, and other tourist traps. A visitor couldn't even see the falls without paying to go through a hotel sited near Table Rock, then guided down a dangerous path to the foot of the falls.

In response to this unplanned, haphazard and unregulated "development", the Ontario government, in 1885, ordered the clearance of all the buildings on it side of the river and the establishment of Queen Victoria Park, seen in the lower right part of the picture. And it created the Niagara Parks Commission (NPC), which has the responsibility for not just the part, but virtually all the land on the Canadian side of the Niagara River, from Fort Erie in the south (opposite Buffalo NY) to Niagara-on-the-Lake at the north end.

According to the Commissions's Mission Statement, "Niagara Park’s [sic] mission is to protect the natural and cultural heritage along the Niagara River for the enjoyment of visitors while maintaining financial self-sufficiency." It also has a "Vision Statement". Here it is.

You don't see anything there about tourism, do you. There is a reference in the Mission Statement about the "enjoyment of visitors", but that's it. Yet for the last half-century or more, there have been people on the Commission who think NPC is all about tourism, and only tourism! In this, they are informed and supported by the Niagara Falls city council, because, since the collapse of the area's industrial sector, Niagara Falls lives or dies by tourism or lack thereof.

The conflict between promoting tourism and preserving the environment and heritage surfaces every couple of years. In 2003 it was a bunny-brained proposal by string a line of gondolas -- cable cars -- along the gorge, to amuse the tourists and mulct them even more US dollars. Five years later, it was a secret deal to give the Glynn family a sweetheart lease to continue operating its rust-bucket "Maid of the Mist" boat ride for another quarter-century.  Two years ago it was Niagara Falls mayor Jim "Who's Yer Daddy" Diodati's shameless promotion of the Nik Wallenda stunt, which he said would bring millions of tourist dollars into the city. (It didn't, but Mr. Diodati is still mayor, and Niagara Region's representative on NPC.)

Now the NPC, with the encouragement of Mr. Diodati and hotel-owner Vince Kerrio (who represents the City of Niagara Falls) has revived a plan, mooted four years ago, to install a "Zipline and Aerial Adventure" attraction on the Canadian side of the gorge, to give the tourists something more to do (and spend money on).

The Niagara Falls (NY) Reporter tells us that four (count `em, 4) ziplines, carrying thousands of passengers, at an estimated $50 per ride, will embark from the Grand View Market in Queen Victoria Park and soar at high speed some 2200 feet along the west wall of the gorge to the base of the former Ontario Power Company’s generating station facing the Horseshoe Falls.

The NPC assures everyone that the ziplines are below the level of River Road, so won't be visible from Queen Victoria Park. However, visitors to the New York State Park on the American side will have a fine view of rotund tourists, clad in their colourful attire, seated in harness, hanging upside down, or "flying" in the "Superman" position. Should be quite a sight.

   

The other part of the "attraction" will be an aerial adventure course, where customers will move like orangutans from tree to tree using log ladders, rope swings, scrambling walls, hanging nets, spinning logs, wobbly bridges, tightropes, monkey bars and... wait for it... zip lines rising above the forest canopy. This healthful and educational activity will take place above the Niagara Whirlpool at Thompson Point, presently a part of the NPC domain where one can sit and enjoy the natural beauty in peace and quiet. No more!

Preserve Our Parks, a citizen activist group which was instrumental in fighting the Maid of the Mist deal and the cronyism and corruption which plagues NPC, has sent to the Environmental Commissioner of Ontario, a statement of opposition to the proposed zipline attraction, and requesting an environmental assessment which they say was never done. 

Will Preserve Our Parks and other concerned citizens succeed in protecting Niagara Parks from the commissioners and managers who seem to have lost sight of NPC's vision? Stay tuned!

Snapshot of an American couple in Ireland*

OK, it's not a snapshot. It's a prose portrait. If you don't like reading, look at the Swazi girls.

This word picture appears in McCarthy's Bar (Hodder and Stoughton, 2000), written by Pete McCarthy, by birth but fully Irish in spirit. His mission in life is to visit any and every pub named "McCarthy's",  hence his travels to the Auld Sod which this book describes. This scene is set in Killarney...

Outside the big hotels, pony and trap drivers with the faces of medieval assassins are touting for business among gaggles of befuddled recent arrivals who are wandering around in a collective trance, like Stepford tourists. "Will the horse expect extra oats?" enquires an admirably self-aware American, who, at a guess, has won a trip to Europe as first prize in the Fattest Arse in the Midwest competition.

Perched on top of the card in baseball cap, stripy stretch fabric polo shirt and vast architect-designed shorts, he looks like Tweedledum. It takes two of the assassins to hoist his wife up there to join him, like Tweedledee in drag. The horse craps ostentatiously in derision, and off they trundle, to provide a bit of comic relief for the people stuck in traffic jams....

I'm beginning to realise that the parts of the country I've been in so far have been deserted because every bugger's here. Suddenly the gridlocked traffic is overtaken by Tweedledum and Tweedledee, careering along in their souped-up tumbril as the assassin cracks his whip.

To show that they've been assimilated into Celtic society, they're both now draped in tartan picnic rugs. He's smoking a large cigar, while she's opted for a packet of fudge as big as Dobbin's nosebag, to tide her over till dinner in half an hour's time.

Irish hotels catering for Americans are aware of the need to serve American-sized portions, so she'll soon be tucking into a whole spit-roast pig, followed by a main course, all washed down with pints of Diet Coke to stop her from getting fat....

As I'm about to leave [the pub], the crowded room is suddenly filled to bursting point as the Tweedles come in with great commotion, accompanied by an even heavier couple....
"So how are you enjoying your holiday?" asks the barman, as he pours whiskey for the men, and something green for their partners.
"Oh, it's just gorgeous," says Tweedledee.
"Yeah, terrific," agrees Tweedledum. "So old-fashioned."
"And so unspoiled," says Dee. "Say, do you have a rest room?"
"Upstairs."
"Guess I'll wait then," says Dee. "We don't do stairs."

"So where are you folks from?" asks the barman.
"Oh, we live in Chicago," says Dum, "but my father was Irish."
There's a general murmur of approval and I feel ashamed. This man I've been mocking as a stereotype of mindless tourism turns out to be as authentically Irish as I am. I feel like apologising, though we've never even met.
"Sure, that's great," says the barman. "So where exactly was your daddy from?"
"He was from Texas."

McCarthy's Pub is a fine book, a rollicking good read. And let me reassure American readers that McCarthy  is not anti-American. He's just anti-tourist, skewering alike the English, the Germans, the Italians, the Scandinavians...and did I mention the English? Here's a trenchant quote:

Once somewhere has more tourists than local people, more knick-knack shops than newsagents or groceries, then equilibrium has been destroyed, the game is up, and the balance has irrevocably shifted in favour of revenue, occupancy and the forces of darkness. Real life may continue, but to the visitor it's all but invisible.

Agent 3, who lives in a tourist trap (and sent McCarthy's Pub to me) says this is all too true.

* Note from Ed.: Walt wrote "Eire", not "Ireland", but I changed it so Americans would understand.

Gunless Kalamazoo Kop felt "threatened" by Canucks

You probably saw this story earlier this week, but Walt feels it bears retelling, since it's a perfect example of the ignorance and paranoia Americans experience when confronted by anything or anyone "foreign". Even when the non-American country or culture or person is somewhat familiar, friendly, peaceful and polite. Like Canada and Canadians.

What follows is a true story, from beautiful Calgary, Alberta, which every year hosts a large cowboy festival -- a glorified rodeo, actually -- called the Stampede. Walt (no relation) Wawra, a Kalamazoo MI policeman, decided to pay a visit this year. No doubt he was dismayed when he passed through Canadian customs and immigration [You mean you have to do that?! Ed.] and was told he couldn't bring his gun(s) with him.

He must have been more dismayed still when he was accosted in a Calgary park by a couple of Canuck hosers -- perhaps resembling those pictured -- who demanded (twice) to know if he'd been to the Stampede yet! But let's not speculate. Here's part of Walt's account of his close encounter with hosers of the northern kind, as published in his letter to the editor of the Calgary Herald.

Two young men approached my wife and me in Nose Hill Park, in broad daylight on a paved trail. The men stepped in front of us, then said in a very aggressive tone: "Been to the Stampede yet?"

We ignored them. They moved closer, repeating: "Hey, you been to the Stampede yet?"
I quickly moved between these two and my wife, replying, "Gentlemen, I have no need to talk with you, goodbye." They looked bewildered, and we then walked past them.

I speculate they did not have good intentions when they approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ they did not pull a weapon of some sort, but rather concluded it was in their best interest to leave us alone.

Walt (Whiteman) speculates that if only Officer Walt (Wawra) had been allowed to have his trusty sidearm with him, Canada would today be down a couple of hosers. Which would be a shame, because the “very aggressive” strangers he encountered may have just been representatives from an oil company giving out free passes to the Stampede.

Wawra’s response to the seemingly mundane, daylight encounter has sparked scorn across the Internet. And it is very tempting to have a good laugh about the stereotypical Ugly American. But seriously... as Herald columnist Naomi Lakritz points out, the whole farcical story -- especially Wawra's perception of the threat and what his reaction could have been if only he'd had a gun -- "speaks volumes about the cultural differences between Canadians and Americans. It gives the lie to those who say that Canadians are no different than Americans."

Ms Lakritz sums up: Wawra’s mindset is what America’s gun mania has produced. How paranoid and how very sad.

Walt adds: That's how wars -- more accurately, invasions of small, weak countries -- get started. Remember Iraq? The American and British governments lied to their citizens that Saddam Hussein possessed great stores of Weapons of Mass Destructions, which made the mighty USA and the not-so-mighty not-so-Great Britain feel threatened. Unlike Walt Wawra, the USA and the UK still had their guns.

Further comment: "It’s Kalamazoo vs. Calgary in clash of civilizations", by Heather Mallick, in the Toronto Star.

Footnote: Walt is well aware that the eponymous Ugly American was the good guy in the novel. Don't write to me to point that out.

Book non-review: A white liberal guilt trip to Timbuktu

Now that the roads have dried out, more or less, Walt ventured out to the library, over Fort Mudge way, looking for some intellectual nourishment. I picked up two pieces, one of which turned out to be quite tasty and digestible. The other was nausea-inducing. I'll tell you about that one first.

Rick Antonson (it says here) is an internationally respected tourism executive, which one supposes is a cut or two above being an internationally respected used car dealer. For reasons unclear, Mr. Antonson set out with "entertaining train companions Ebou and Ussegnou, a mysterious cook called Nema, and intrepid guide Zak" to reach the ancient city of Timbuktu, the capital of Mali, one of the most backward states of Africa, the most backward continent of the world.

The jacket blurbs compare Antonson with Eric Newby, Redmond O'Hanlon and Bill Bryson. Walt has read Newby, O'Hanlon and Bryson, and -- trust me -- Antonson is not in the same league or even on the same planet. What Antonson is is a member of the Noble Savage school. You know... "These Africans were once a great people, with a civilization much greater and more, errr, civilized than ours, but since they came into contact with the evil white men, their fabulous city crumbled into dust and their people descended into the deep pit of poverty, which we really must throw money into, to help them get out of the trap we created..." etc etc ad nauseam.

Does the book actually say this? Alas, I can't tell you, because I didn't get as far as the text itself. I was stopped by the foreword by Professor Geoffrey Lipman, a citizen of the world -- meaning I couldn't figure out his actual citizenship -- Assistant Secretary-General of the United Nations World Tourism Organization and professional spokesthingy for sustainable and politically correct tourism.

Obviously Prof. Lipman is a progressive thinker and someone who does well out of doing good. No flying economy class for him, I'm sure! Here is what he has to say about Mali and about Antonson's book.

At p. 8 (first page of the Foreword) - Rick Antonson's personal odyssey is peppered with commentary on issues that are geopolitically relevant...

At p. 9 (second page of the Foreword) - We [Walt's emphasis] owe the children of Africa a seriously better future...

At p. 10 (third page of the Foreword) - What is heroic here is Mali itself and the indomitable spirit of its people.... Mali has a history as proud and rich as any country on the planet, but it is a nation that has also been dealt an incredibly tough hand...

At p. 11 (fourth and -- thank goodness -- final page of the Foreword), Lipman quotes from the book itself - Travel holds immense hope for a better world. Two hundred and eighteen countries call this tiny planet home: each of us is but a step or two away from a person in every one of those nations.... Tourism, more than any other industry, can bring people together to celebrate differences.

That was all I could take. Unfortunately I started the book while sitting down to dinner -- yes, yes, bad habit, I know -- and was obliged to put it aside at the end of the foreword lest I regurgitate Mrs. Walt's excellent dai dop woy.

Mr. Antonson's alleged book is called To Timbuktu for a Haircut. If you're a guilt-ridden liberal of the Hebrew persuasion, you'll surely love it. Being none of those things, I'm surmising from the foreword, not from having read it.

Book review: Gullible's Travels

Over the decades, I've seen a lot of the Excited States of America. I've had a pistol stuck in my face in Trout Creek MT. As Agent 17 can attest, I've even spent a weekend in Harlingen TX. I've been to three dogfights and a box social. But I have never...never...been to:

Barney Smith's Toilet Seat Museum in San Antonio TX

The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices in St. Paul MN

The American Museum of Sanitary Plumbing in Worcester MA, or

The American International Rattlesnake Museum in Albuquerque (turn left there...)

Cash Peters, however, has visited those oddball museums and many more. Deliberately.

For years, the British journalist trekked around Europe and the USA for the BBC and for a hilarious and popular NPR radio series, The Bad Taste Tours. Before switching off the mic, he embarked on one last low-budget jaunt around the country, and recorded his observations in Gullible's Travels (Globe Pequot Press, 2003). Here's a sample.

New Mexico is not like the rest of America. Perhaps the best way to describe it is "a dusty, primitive, flat, barren wilderness". Unfortunately, there's something about that phrase that doesn't look good on a license plate. So a few years back, the locals...said to hell with that, and dumped the dusty primitive, flat, barren wilderness angle in favor of something far better. What they came up with was a stroke of genius: The Land of Enchantment, which not only looks great on a license plate, but is also infinitely more attractive to visitors.

Gullible's Travels is the funniest book on the subject of tourism in the USA which I've read since Bill Bryson's The Lost Continent. Read it and start planning the itinerary for your next expedition into the world of the obscure and unusual. I'm going to start with the Ahlgrim Acres Funeral Parlor and Miniature Golf Course. Can you imagine...

How to offend a Canadian

Unlike Americans (see previous post), Canadians can be offended. How? By confusing them with Americans!

So says the British national tourist agency, in guidelines published this week to help the hosts deal with visitors to the 2012 Olympics, which will be held in London.

According to the Associated Press report, the advice says Canadian tourists are likely to be quite annoyed about being mistaken for Americans. The guide urges workers to keep an eye out for maple leaf pins or badges on tourists' clothing.

Here's the rest of the British guide to getting along with Canadians. Walt publishes this as a service to all the American (and other) tourists who may be visiting Canada and find themselves a tad perplexed by the manners of those crazy Canucks.

Social practices – not laws – govern many types of behaviour in Canada. Some traditions are well established and are politely but firmly enforced.

For example:

• Lining up, or queuing: People normally line up or queue according to the principle of ‘first-come, first-served.’ They will be angry if you push ahead in a line-up instead of waiting your turn.

• Not smoking in private homes: Most Canadians do not smoke.

• When you are in people’s homes, you should always ask their permission to smoke. However this may be different in Quebec.

• Being on time: You should always arrive on time. People who are often late may be fired from their jobs or suspended from school. Many Canadians will not wait more than 10-15 minutes for someone at a business meeting. For social events, it is expected that you will arrive within half an hour of the stated time.

• Respect for the environment: Canadians respect the natural environment and expect people to avoid littering.

• Bargaining: Bargaining for a better price is not common in Canada, but there are some exceptions. People who sell things privately may also bargain.

• Smart shopping: Stores compete on price with one another to attract customers. Note: the price marked on goods in stores does not include taxes, which add from 7-15% to the cost of an item, depending on the province.

• Shaking hands: It is customary that you always shake hands at a first-time meeting and always in business situations.

• First names: Canadians are always on a first name basis; especially in social situations and informal business environments.

• Not Americans: The Canadian visitor to Britain is not an American... and don't you forget it!

Footnote: Canadians have their own money too. It's called "dollars" but it comes in different colours. Oh yeah, there's no dollar bill. You get coins with strange names -- loonies and toonies. The loonies look like gold, but they aren't.