VIDEO: Starbucks sensitivity training

No matter what Donald Trump says, the truth is that Canadians are always playing catch-up, trying to keep up with their American cousins, not just in trade but in entertainment, culture [There's "culture" in America? Ed.], politics (e.g. Doug Ford's win in Ontario a year and a half after the Trump Triumph), and, sure enough, political correctness.

Earlier this year, after two black men got arrested for loitering in one of its Philthydelphia stores, Starbucks discovered that it had a problem with cultural insensitivity. (Loitering comes naturally to black dudes, see, and you're not allowed to call them on it.) So they decided to close all the stores in the Paranoid States of America on May 29th to give the baristas a Special High Intensity Training course in sensitivity.

A bit later, somebody at HQ said to somebody else, "Hey, we forgot about Canada!" The response likely was, "We have stores there? Oh geez, better put them down for some of that SHIT too!" And so, Agent 3 informs me, SHIT happened in Canada today, from sea to sea to sea. Agent 3 donned a green apron and snuck into one of the sessions, from which he sent this spycam video.

Black snowflakes panic as banana peel thrown in tree at Ole Miss

Walt wouldn't be surprised if the "progressives" in Congress introduce a bill to amend the Constitution of the Paranoid States of America to guarantee every Merkan the right not to be offended. Such a provision is clearly necessary, given the increasing number of incidents of insensitivity to the feelings of LGBTQ2Setc, "new Americans" and persons of colour, across the country but particularly in the racist and unrepentant Souf.

Case in point: The abrupt ending of "Ole Miss Greek life", a retreat "to build leaders and bring campus closer together" [Was that written by an English student? Ed.] convened at Camp Hopewell in Lafayette County last weekend. The get-together was to have lasted for three days, but was cut short on Saturday night after three black students found a banana peel in a tree in front of one of the camp's cabins.

A student attending the conference admitted to tossing his banana peel into a nearby tree after he was unable to locate a garbage can. Soon thereafter, the peel was spotted by Makala McNeil, president of Alpha Kappa Alpha, one of Ole Miss's historically black sororities. The banana peel "triggered" feelings of persecution and insecurity. Ms McNeil claimed that students "didn't feel welcome" or "safe" on campus. Hysteria ensued and, despite the careless student's explanation cum apology, other students left the retreat in tears.

"The overall tone was heavy. I mean, we were talking about race in Mississippi and in the Greek community so there's a lot involved," said Ms McNeil, later adding that she and her friend were "all just sort of paranoid for a second" after spotting the banana.

In a statement included in an article in the campus newspaper, the Daily Mississipian/TheDMONLINE, Alexa Lee Arndt, Interim Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, said, "To be clear, many members of our community were hurt, frightened, and upset by what occurred at IMPACT. Because of the underlying reality many students of color endure on a daily basis, the conversation manifested into a larger conversation about race relations today at the University of Mississippi."

Walt can hardly wait for the now-customary banning of racist and culturally insensitive costumes at Hallowe'en. My fear... and it's a very real fear... is that we won't have space to report all the craziness.

A true (and ridiculous) Canadian story of political correctness

Nowhere -- repeat: NOWHERE -- is political correctness more firmly entrenched than in the Great No-longer-white North. Everything has to be done by the book: The Little Red Book of Diversity and Sensitivity (Queen's Printer, 1/4/15). The latest sin the PC police are trying to stamp out is "cultural appropriation".

Not quite the same as "cultural insensitivity", it seems to mean being so keen on some other ethnic/religious group's culture that you take it for your own. Many examples were found on Hallowe'en. White parents were instructed, for example, that it was "inappropriate" to send their kids out trick-or-treating dressed as Indians. [Hey! "First Nations"! Ed.] And one of the newly-minted Liberal cabinet ministers was pilloried in the meeja for having donned a coolie hat and gone to a Hallowe'en party as a Chinese. She was obliged to take "offensive" photos off her FB page.

And now for today's news from the battle against cultural insensitivity. At the resolutely bilingual University of Ottawa/Université d'Ottawa, a free class in yoga which had been given for seven years at the university's Centre for Students with Disabilities was no longer offered this fall because some students and volunteers were "uncomfortable with the 'cultural issues' involved."

Yesterday, The lead instructor, Jen Scharf, told CBC News, "I guess it was this cultural appropriation issue because yoga originally comes from India. I told them, 'Why don't we just change the name of the course?' It's simple enough, just call it 'mindful stretching'.... We're not going through the finer points of scripture. We're talking about basic physical awareness and how to stretch so that you feel good.

"That went back and forth.... The higher-ups at the student federation got involved, finally we got an email routed through the student federation basically saying they couldn't get a French name and nobody wants to do it, so we're going to cancel it for now."

You couldn't make this stuff up, could you. Anyone who can come up with a suitable name en français is invited to send it to Walt at the usual address, for forwarding to the U of 0, as many Canadians call the ultra-PC institution of higher learning.

Naked tourists anger spirits, cause Mount Kinabalu earthquake

In every place Walt has ever lived -- and there have been many -- tourists are welcomed with forced smiles and reviled behind their backs as "FTs" -- "fucking tourists". In Zimbabwe, a standard joke was: Q. What's the difference between a BA [British Airways] jet and the tourists who arrive on it? A. The plane stops whining when it gets to the terminal.

Around the world, tourists are widely -- and justly -- regarded as loud and boorish (Americans and Chinese), arrogant and pushy (Germans), dirty and rude (Chinese and Indians), cheap (Indians and Canadians), and the list goes on. A major complaint of many unwilling hosts is that their guests are ignorant of and insensitive to local culture, tradition and religion. "Whaddya mean I have to take off my shoes? I'm a Merkin!"

Such insensitivity is today being held to have played a part in causing a 6.0-magnitude earthquake centred just 33 miles from Mount Kinabalu, a World Heritage Site in Malaysia's Sabah state.

Like Everest, Kilimanjaro, the Matterhorn and other lofty peaks, Mount Kinabalu is a major attraction for hordes of careless, trash-toting and generally stupid tourists who try to hike, climb and scramble their way to the top "because it's there". And how do you prove you've been there? By taking pictures of course. And if you photograph yourself naked and put it on Instagram, maybe it'll go viral!

There were somewhere between 100 and 200 trekkers on the mountain when the powerful earthquake struck on Friday. As of Sunday morning local time, 13 bodies have been recovered and 3 are missing. Rescuers escorted to safety 137 who had been stuck on the mountain for up to 18 hours fearing continuing rockfalls after the quake damaged a key trail.

Reports said most people on the mountain when the quake hit were Malaysian but they also included hikers from Singapore, the United States, the Philippines, Britain, Thailand, Turkey, China, Japan and Canada. The Straits Times quotes Sabah’s Deputy Chief Minister said the quake was a result of the action of Western tourists who had stripped naked near Mount Kinabalu’s summit last month.

Mount Kinabalu is sacred to the local Kadazan Dusun tribal group, who consider it a resting place for departed spirits. Speaking to reporters on Saturday, the DCM said the tragedy was a "confirmation" of the consequences of the actions of ten "Europeans" [the term used in Africa and Asia for all whities. Ed.] who he said had been disrespectful to local customs.

The Deputy Chief Minister called on the culprits to be brought to a native court to be charged. He did not actually use the term "FTs". What he said was, "Whether other people believe this or not, it's what we Sabahans believe. When the earthquake happened, it's like a confirmation of our beliefs. It is a sacred mountain and you cannot take it lightly."

Note from Ed.: No! There are no more pictures! And there won't be, tomorrow or ever!