From the Bee: "Elmo Decries Defunding Of PBS As Jewish Conspiracy"

Ed. here. "Where's Walt?", I hear you ask. He's recovering from a long weekend. In his absence, we'd like to share a post which appeared on the Babylon Bee -- your trusted source for Christian satire -- yesterday. We hasten to add that the image below comes from the PatriotPost. 

Longtime Sesame Street resident Elmo decried the federal government's defunding of PBS as an "obvious Jewish conpsiracy." In a special edition of Elmo's World, the iconic red puppet unleashed a 40-minute tirade blaming the Jewish people for a laundry list of world issues.

"Elmo knows who's responsible! Hee-hee!" said Elmo, furiously banging his goldfish bowl. "Elmo knows who controls the flow of money! Oh, oh, look, everyone. Dorothy the goldfish has a question! Dorothy wants to know which members of Congress are controlled by AIPAC! Ha-ha-ha!"

The disturbing rant initially featured Elmo calling the PBS defunding a Jewish plot, but quickly descended into inculpating the Jewish people for all of history's wars. "Oh! Elmo wants to ask where the number six million really comes from for the Holocaust!" said Elmo. 

"Hee-hee-hee. Elmo just asking questions! Oh, oh! Now that Elmo start asking questions about Holocaust, PBS loses its funding! Elmo thinks he knows how this works, hee-hee-hee!"

At publishing time, Elmo had reportedly flushed Dorothy down the toilet after becoming suspicious of her last name "Goldfish."

Comment from Ed.: The loonie left, DEI-obsessed creators of Sesame Street say poor widdle Elmo's account was hacked. Well, they would say that, wouldn't they. Defunding of PBS sounds like an excellent idea to us, the logical sequence to the long-overdue defunding of NPR. Winning!

For more excellent humour in a jugular vein, bookmark the Babylon Bee. Better yet, subscribe! Tell `em Walt sent ya.

Oprah for President in 2020?

Well... why not? Who else have the Democrats got? Nancy Pelousy? Joe Hasbin? Bob Eager? Obviously they can't run Hellery Clinton again, so those wonderful folks who brought you "Hillary 2016" last night floated a trial balloon -- a large one -- for a run by one of the World's Richest Women. She war born in the USA -- no "birther" problem there -- on the wrong side of the tracks (check) and is 100% black, not just black-when-necessary-but-not-necessarily-black, like the last Democrat to occupy the Oval Office.

Oprah is also a certified ["certifiable"? Ed.] gliberal, with hyuge media exposure, just like the other one... Whoopie something-or-other. She's also a member of one of America's most bullied minorities -- the chronically overweight. Of course she's never held elected office, but just over a year ago President Trump proved that needn't be a hindrance. In fact, in an interview with Larry King some years ago, The Donald said Ms Winfrey was a great woman, yada yada yada, and might make a good running mate for Himself.

The idea of Oprah Winfrey running for the presidensity sounds to me like a Hollywood liberal dream. I watched the enraptured crowd at the Golden Globes [I always thought that referred to part of a leading lady's anatomy. Ed.] last night, and that's what I saw -- the Hollywood liberal establishment. Lots of (((Jews))) (but no (((Harvey Weinstein)))) and lots of empowered women, but almost no persons of colour (that I could see) or California Republicans (an endangered species).

The people practically wetting themselves when the heavily bespectacled Queen of Spades ["Queen of Daytime TV", shurely! Ed.] started ranting about revolution are the same people who told Americans to vote for Hellery Clinton, and threatened to move to Canada if she lost. She did; they didn't. That's all ye know and all ye need to know.

Don't know where this one (above) originated, but I saw it on Blazing Cat Fur, always good for a laugh at the lefties' expense.

If you love Elmo, crap your hands!

One of the things Walt misses about no longer living in China [Just in case any readers were wondering. Ed.] is the amusement of reading notices, signs and other documents written in Chingrish.

Chingrish, for those not familiar with the term, is a strange and hilarious amalgam of misspellings and mistranslations used by Chinese who believe that they can speak/write English. "Of cos I speak good Engrish! I got CET-4!"

One example that always made me smile was the little sign in the Renrenle supermarket showing shoppers where to find the "CHEWING GUN".

Perhaps the product was to be found just an aisle or two over from the "Rocking Elmo" pictured here. To be fair, though, I believe the admonition to "Crap Your Hands" is actually Japlish, first cousin to Chinglish.

The picture was posted on the ChairmanLOL website, which has hundreds of similar examples. Mind you, the Chinese and Japanese are not the only ones to mangle the language of Shakespeare and Churchill. Horrible examples of "Engrish" as she is spoken around the world -- including so-called English-speaking countries -- can be found at Engrish.com. Walt invites to read, laugh, and see if you can do any better!