Dr. Geezer proves age and guile beat youth and innocence every time

It's been a quiet Sunday (so far) here in Lake Wobegon. [Don't go there. Didn't you hear that Garrison Keillor is a victim of #MeToo? Ed.] OK, it's beautiful day in the neighbourhood. [Get on with it. Ed.] Walt is grateful to Agent 9 for sending along a story which should tickle the funnybone of all the old geezers out there... and serve as a warning to young whippersnappers.

A retired physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic. Over the door, he put up a sign that read: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1000."

Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Aaagh! -- This is gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Understandably annoyed, Dr. Young went back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't! That's gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

After having lost $1000 in less than week, Dr. Young left angrily, but came back a few days later, looking for revenge.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see anything!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, so here is your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill).
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story: Just because you're "young" doesn't mean you can outsmart an "old geezer". And remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.

Note from Ed. to Agent 9: Your prize for submitting the best "Laughter is the Best Medicine" [Don't go there. Walt] story for May is in the mail!

Test your knowledge of antiques

Here's an interesting old tool box from the 18th (?) century. Can you figure out what it is, and what it would be used for?



Here's a clue. It was used for a medical purpose.

Still stumped? Read and learn.

Yes, Virginia*, it's a tobacco enema kit.

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims. A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blow smoke up one’s ass".

In the late 20th and early 21st century, this technique has been reintroduced, with great success, in the world of politics and government.

PS * Geddit?
PPS - Thanks to Agent 6 for sharing this. Agent 6 is a non-smoker.