Sad tales from the Heart of Wokeness

In "Fearless predictions for 2023" (WWW 10/1/23), Walt predicted that at least one of the three following heads of government would be out of office by Christmas, as a result of resignation, revolution or death: "Pope" Francis,  Demented Joe Biden, and  Justin "F*ck" Trudeau. Lifetime pct .989.

My batting average would be higher had I foreseen the pleasant surprises of the resignations of not one but three authorities of the wokest kind, all of which have occurred in the last month. A big Nelson Muntz HA-ha has already gone out to New Zealand's Queen of the Lockdowns, Jacinda "Karen" Ardern. Today we add two "leaders" from the wokest country on earth, Canuckistan.  

The first is Brenda Lucki, Commissioner (top cop) of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, whose retirement was announced yesterday. HA-ha!

Ms Unlucki was appointed by Prime Minister Blackie McBlackface, the well-known "male feminist", because she's a woman. Oh, and she also happens to be married to Ray Gauthie, a relative of former finance minister Bill Morneau. That could explain why M Trudeau was never arrested for violating ethics laws in the SNC-Lavalin or numberous other affairs.

In a statement announcing what she called a "personal decision", Ms Unlucki said she has decided to retire ahead of reaching five years in the role. Her last day will be March 17th.

We are assured that the timing of her resignation has nothing to do with the impending (tomorrow!) release of the report of the Whitewash Rouleau Commission into the brutal repression of the Freedom Convoy, one year ago.

Brenda has been criticized for not speaking up in the cabinet meeting at which Mr Socks invoked the Emergencies Act to quash all dissent, although emails from Ms Lucki show that she thought there were other alternatives. This prompted Alberta's justice minister to call for her resignation, to which Ms Lucki responded by asserting she remained "fully committed to leading the RCMP."

March will see the release of the final report of the Nova Scotia Mass Casualty Commission. They have been looking into how the RCMP handled the 2020 killing rampage in Nova Scotia that involved a gunman using a replica RCMP vehicle. Ms Unlucki has on several occasions denied accusations of political interference in the case. 

But wait, there's more. In 2020, amid conversations around the woke hobby horse of defunding the police, Ms Lucki faced calls to resign after saying that she struggled with "five or six" definitions of systemic racism. She then quickly acknowledged what she called the national police service's "history of racial discrimination."

Looks from here as if Ms Unlucki has decided to fall on her sword to save PM McBlackface from the embarrassment of having to fire here. Further reading: "Hiring based on gender/workeness rather than merit: not a good idea", WWW 23/1/21.

We turn now to news from Toronto, aka The Wormy Apple -- a "world-class city" in the sense that it has world-class problems of crime, homelessness, crumbling infrastructure, and did I mention crime? 

John Tory -- Tory by name, "progressive" by inclination -- ran for re-election in October on the "politics of hope", taken whole and unadulterated from the teachings of The Prez. He won in a landslide. Because Toronto.

This week, surprise surprise, he resigned in the wake of the revelation by the Toronto Red Star of his affair with a former staffer. HA-ha!

This is like Lori Lightfoot winning re-election on February 28th [Ya think? Ed.] and then resigning because she's been sleeping with Hunter Biden!

According to Hizzoner, the relationship began during the Covid-19 Dempanic, when he and his long-time wife were spending "lengthy periods apart." Honesty John, has always made much of his reputation for integrity, said he was stepping down so he can "reflect on my mistakes" and "do the work of rebuilding the trust of my family."

That's all? Errr, no. Mr Tory also said the relationship "ended by mutual consent" earlier this year, adding that the former staffer had also decided to pursue employment outside of city hall. The word on Bay Street is that she landed in the executive offices of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, with which, by virtue of being a trustee of the Rogers family trust, the now-ex-mayor has some connection. 

The shadow of #MeToo looms in the background. Further reading: "Canada's top general latest victim of 'Me Too'", WWW 4/2/21.

Canadian Mountie in deep doo-doo for simulated sex with vegetable

Corporal Dave Duplissie, of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, is learning the hard way that if you have the urge to engage in sex -- even if it's only simulated -- with a vegetable, you'd better not do it while you're on duty... in uniform... and in the presence of a camera! Following a complaint from another Mountie, Cpl Duplissie is being "investigated" for the incident pictured here.

The whistle-blower is one Jesse Anderson, now an EX-Mountie. He worked at the RCMP's Surrey detachment, the largest in Canada. Cpl Duplissie was his supervisor, and apparently took a disliking to Mr Anderson, and vice versa. Mr Anderson, who was only a probationary constable, was eventually fired, for a series of alleged transgressions, including not reporting properly for sick leave, misuse of a government-issued credit card and misplacing a digital recorder. The dismissal recommendation also accuses him of dishonesty and a lack of accountability.

Mr Anderson, for his part, alleges Cpl Duplissie "played favourites" and made his workplace stressful by making racist jokes and other uncoplike conduct. His story about "the eggplant incident" goes like this....

"A member brought in an eggplant. [Duplissie] grabbed it and started to perform fellatio on it, in the office during shift, in uniform." Junior officers gathered around joking about it, and one even recorded it. (The photo is a screegrab from the recording.) Mr Anderson says nobody called Cpl Duplissie on it because he was the senior officer. Neither did Mr Anderson. "I was the outcast already and I kind of wanted to keep my job at that time," he said. "I was too scared."

Mr Anderson also says Cpl Duplissie started making comments and sending derisive texts about the Black Lives Matter movement and about black police officers after one officer disclosed he has some black heritage. Sex with vegetables, Black Lives Matter... those things are clearly not acceptable in today's Great No-longer-white North... as Cpl Duplissie is finding out.