Middle East "refugees" refuse to live in cold places

Walt has some comforting news for Canucks worried that newly-elected Prime Minister Justin Trudeau might make good on his promise to import 25,000 refugees from Syria -- supposedly -- by the end of the year.

From The Japan Times comes a story of a busload of migrants from Syria and Iraq who were taken by MV, the Swedish migration agency, to Limedsforsen, a village near the Norwegian border. They took one look, and refused to get off the bus, demanding instead to be taken to a big city, or maybe even Germany.

Why? Because, they said, Limedsforsen was isolated and too cold. Interviewed on Swedish TV, one of the refugees said, "They told us we were going to live here, but it’s not possible for everyone. There are children and a pregnant woman. It’s too cold, there are no shops and no doctor."

A spokesthingy for MV told AFP, "We don’t have an alternative solution. This is all we have to offer them." As the Muslim invasion of Europe continues, about 10,000 supposed refugees are making their way to Sweden every week. The county, with a population of less than 10 million, expects to receive almost 200,000 asylum applications by the end of the year.

Walt's advice to Canadians is to confirm, not deny the tales of endless winters in the Great White North. Post plenty of pictures of snow-covered landscapes, and don't forget the igloos and polar bears. And many good lucks to you, by Jove!

Great White North not so white anymore, eh

Not so great either...

StatsCan (aka Statistics Canada) today released the first batch of results its 2011 "voluntary" National Household Survey, which replaced the mandatory long-form census cancelled by order of Prime Minister Steve "Stephen" Harper because [Ed., please call them -- 1-800-263-1136 -- and see if you can find out the reason.]

The findings should delight the apostles of multiculturalism, secular humanism, diversity and unrestricted immigration. Why? Because what the Survey reveals, in a nutshell, is that your average Canadian no longer looks like this.

Not-so-typical Canadians

Here, in no particular order, are some highlights, although if you're a native-born Canuck you may prefer the term "lowlights".

• Canada was home to an estimated 6,775,800 immigrants in 2011, comprising 20.6% of the population — more than ever before and the highest proportion of all G8 countries.
• About 1,162,900 foreign-born people immigrated to Canada between 2006 and 2011 -- that would be on Harper's watch -- making up 17.2% of the foreign-born population and 3.5% of Canada's total population. [Ed., don't call Statscan. I've figured it out now.]
• 1,400,685 people identified themselves as aboriginal (First Nations, Innu, Indians, Eskimos or all of the above) in 2011, representing 4.3% of the Canadian population.
• Aboriginal peoples accounted for 3.8% of the population in 2006, 3.3% in 2001 and 2.8% in 1996.
• The aboriginal population grew by 20.1% -- 232,385 people -- between 2006 and 2011, compared with 5.2% for non-aboriginal people.
• Aboriginal children aged 14 and under made up 28% of Canada's total aboriginal population, while their non-aboriginal counterparts represented 16.5% of all non-aboriginals.
• Almost half (48.1%) of all children aged 14 and under in foster care in Canada in 2011 were aboriginal children.
• More than 200 different ethnic origins were reported in the 2011 survey, with 13 of them representing more than a million people each.
• Nearly 6,264,800 people identified themselves as "visible minorities" (aka "vizmins"), representing 19.1% of the population. 65% of them were born outside Canada.
• South Asians (= Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Sri Lankans), Chinese and blacks accounted for 61.3% of the visible minority population, followed by Filipinos, Latin Americans, Arabs, Southeast Asians, West Asians, Koreans and Japanese.
• 7.8 million people, 23.9% of the population, reported having no religious affiliation.

Don't call, write or e-mail me to tell me I'm being racist. Those are the Canadian government's figures, and we all know the Dear Leader's regime is nothing if not politically correct.

The Canadian media are making a meal of these statistics, with major dailies running two or three or even four stories each, with opinion pieces yet to come. Here are some of the headlines Walt has seen.

Immigration dramatically changing makeup of Toronto and Canada (Hardly news to Torontonians, and certainly not to CBC Radio which for years now has been giving airtime to people with unintelligble accents in order to be "sounding the way Toronto looks".)

Canada's non-Christian population growing (It's not the immigrants who are identifying themselves as having no religion.)

Aboriginal population young and growing fast (Consider the implications next time you're driving through Caledonia ON.)

Young, suburban and mostly Asian: Canada's immigrant population surges past 20% (Higher in some localities. Hello Mississauga!)

Muslim population is fastest growing religion in Canada, census shows (Ignore the dreadful grammar. But do the math. How long before Canada has an Islamist government?)

Nearly half of Canada's children in foster care are Aboriginal, new census-replacement shows (Some problem with the People?)

One in five Canadians born elsewhere (Somewhere less to their liking, presumably)

Immigrant underclass in GTA fuels simmering frustrations (Begs the question: who's simmering and who's really hot? Amazing, though, that the Toronto Red Star would actually use the word "underclass")

Canadians losing their religion, survey shows (Should read "Native-born Canadians...")

Why the census may not be entirely accurate (Eh? You mean it could be worse?)

Canucks have few answers for this year's meltdown [I think that's actually a sports headline. Ed.]

Walt has no further comment except to say to the uninitiated that the typical Canadian hosers pictured above are Bob and Doug McKenzie, hosts of the "Great White North" segment on the cult classic SCTV sketch comedy series. The "brothers" developed that bit at the urging of the CBC, which felt the show should have more Canadian content. Of course that was 30 years ago.

SCTV is (back) on the air!

Let's face it. Canadian sitcoms stink. Remember King of Kensington? And how about the execrable Little Mosque on the Prairie?

You probably haven't seen or heard of either of those, even if you live north of the border. King was created by a Canadian Norman Lear wannabe. It tried to be sensitive and funny at the same time and succeeded at neither. As for Little Mosque, it starts with a ridiculous premise -- the title says it all -- and goes downhill from there.

It's not that Canadians have no sense of humour. There's a lot more good-natured irreverence in Canada than in the counterpart society to the south. Unlike their American cousins, Canadians know theirs is a nitwit country, and they're not afraid to laugh at themselves. Who do you think writes all those Canadian (and other) gags for The Simpsons and South Park?

Walt thinks the problem is that most Canadian sitcoms are commissioned by and for the deadly dull Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, a public (i.e. government-owned) broadcaster so politically correct that it's impossible to poke fun at any identifiable group except maybe the Church.

Yet making fun of racial, ethnic and religious characteristics of one group or another is the essence of most of the jokes you'll hear around the water cooler or at the watering hole. Sketch comedy, fortunately, is another matter. Some would say that sketches are a lower art form, but in reality they require better writing and better, funnier ideas than sitcoms. There's a lot more to creating a funny TV sketch than dressing some actors up in funny clothes and makeup (e.g. Coneheads) and letting them do slapstick for a couple of minutes.

Canadians do sketch comedy superbly. And one of the best Canadian sketch comedy shows, SCTV, is back on the air. Incredibly, SCTV (Second City Television) was originally broadcast on the CBC from 1976 through 1984.

That network's insistence on political correctness led to the creation of the famous "Great White North" sketches, featuring Bob and Doug Mackenzie (Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis), which begat a movie, Strange Brew.

Even Americans found the Mackenzie Brothers hilarious. Thomas and Moranis said in an interview that they didn't think Americans realized the characters were Canadian, "only a couple of dumb guys". Here's a sample.



Check the cable and satellite listings for the comedy channels and you'll likely find SCTV somewhere. It's still funny, a quarter of a century later.

Postscript: These days the CBC would never allow the "Great White North" segment. God forbid that Canadians should ever say that theirs was a white society. That would imply that people of non-whitish hues don't belong. We couldn't have that...eh...