Signs of the inflationary times

So, farewell, then, to penny postage. The humble one-cent stamp, along with 2s, 3s, 4s and other practically worthless values have been quietly discontinued ["cancelled"? Geddit? Ed.] by Canada Post.

A hundred years ago, a one-cent stamp, with the likeness of George V, the Sailor King, was all you needed to send a postcard a mari usque ad mare -- from Squamish BC, let's say, to Dildo NL.

Today, that would cost you, for just one stamp, C$1.15 (84 cents in real money)... plus sales tax! Can you, dear American reader, imagine having to pay tax on postage stamps? If you're foolish enough to move to Canuckistan when Donald Trump is re-elected, that's what you'll have to do to help pay for Trudeau's refugee-friendly welfare state.

That $1.15, by the way, covers the postage -- still just one cent -- plus $1.14 for storage!

A hundred years ago, you could have paid for your one-cent stamp with a copper -- well, copper-coloured -- one cent coin, affectionately known as a penny. The pennies of that time were roughly the size of a modern US penny, but to numismatists they are known as "small cents", being about half the size of the "large cents" -- roughly the same as a British half-penny -- which had preceded them.

Alas, you can no longer find a Canadian penny to pay for a one-cent stamp. As Walt reported in "Canada doesn't make cents any more" (WWW 20/12/12), one-cent coins were declared surplus to requirements in 2012, since they would no longer purchase a single thing, not even a single stamp, which would have cost, including the sales tax, 1.15 cents.

I tell you this sad tale, Canadian readers, to remind you how, under a succession of Liberal (and sometimes Cuckservative) governments, your beaverbucks have become "progressively" (geddit?) devalued. 

Dear American readers, you need not be so smug because (you might say) you still have one-cent stamps and your precious pennies, not to mention dollar bills, which Canada doesn't have either. The fires of Bidenflation are raging like California [Isn't that where Hock Ptui is from? Ed.] wildfires. Time to put them out with the hose of common cents. Geddit?!

Canada doesn't make cents any more

This spring, the Royal Canadian Mint pressed its last penny. The Canadian government stopped production of the cute little coins, because it was making a loss of 6/10th of a cent on each and every one. So, according to Jim Flaherty, the Minister of Finance, $11 million a year in production costs would be saved by doing away with the cents.

However, Canadian Press reports today that redeeming the six billion or so pennies presently in circulation will cost Canuck taxpayers about $7.3 million a year for the next six years. (That's about $7.4 million in "real money".)

Costs include $53 million expected to be paid out to redeem the face value of the coins, as well as another $27 million for the Mint's handling and administration costs. Recycling the zinc and copper from melted-down pennies will bring in about $42.5 million in revenue, leaving the government in the red by a tad over $38 million.

The good news is, when you add the $11 million in annual savings from not minting any more pennies, the government still saves almost $4 million per year over the expected six-year redemption period. Ah, the complexities of public finance.

But Walt has a suggestion for the Canadian government, or the US government, if they ever decide to follow the lead of the frugal frostbacks. [As if that will happen. The USA still has single dollar bills! Ed.] [Never mind. Do you want to hear this or not?! Walt]

OK, here's Walt's can't-miss cost recovery plan. Sell the old pennies to Zimbabwe! They use US dollars there -- each one worth almost, but not quite, a Canadian dollar -- but they have no coins because they can't afford to import any. So ship them the Canadian cents at, say, half their face value, plus S+H, plus HST, and they should fetch pretty close to C$50 million, which is $7.5 million more than the expected revenue from recycling.

Note to Jim Flaherty: You don't need to thank Walt publicly. Just send a cheque.

Americans, we're watching you!

Dear American friends... Be afraid! Be very very afraid!!! This is a spy coin -- a super-hi-tech Canadian quarter which Canadian soldiers and airmen will smuggle into US government and armed forces meeting rooms to learn your military secrets and prepare for the invasion!

At least that was the rumour when these coins -- really commemorating the sacrifices of Canadian lives in foreign wars -- first appeared about four years ago.

The funny thing is, the US Department of Defense took the story seriously. We know this from classified documents recently obtained by AP under the Freedom of Information Act.

Pentagon officials question whether they should warn military officers in the U.S. Northern Command, who regularly met Canadian counterparts about classified subjects inside bug-free government meeting rooms known as secure compartmentalized information facilities, or "SKIFs". (If it didn't have an acronym it wouldn't be in the Pentagon, eh.)

"Isn't the Canadian piece something that should be briefed to Northcom since the Canadians sit in their SKIFs?" asked the "deputy director for counterintelligence oversight", in emails marked "Secret/NoForn."
"Good point," replied the Pentagon's acting director for counterintelligence. "It is possible that DSS (the U.S. Defence Security Service) sent their report to Northcom. Then again, I don't think it is an issue of the Canadians being the bad guys, but then again, who knows."

Indeed. Who knows? Such is the paranoia of the world's most powerful nation.