BREAKING: Trump tells Iran "FAFO"

Not a great way to start the day. I was awakened at sparrow fart by the distant whine of the Fort Mudge air raid siren. Seems that Chief Wiggum, who's in charge of the device, had misinerpreted the news flash on the radio and was warning the populace that Iran was attacking the US of A. In fact it's the other way around.

It's actually the mad mullahs who rule the Islamic Republic of Iran who need to keep their eyes to the skies, as President Donald Trump told the Iranian armed forces to lay down their arms or face "certain death." FAFO!

POTUS also urged the Iranian people to rise up and "seize control of your destiny" as "major" joint American-Israeli strikes against Tehran commenced overnight. 

Why is this happening? Because, after months of palaver, the Islamists refuse to accept limits on their development of nuclear technology. They say it's for peaceful purposes, because, as is well known, Islam is the Religion of Peace(TM).  American security experts, however, think that the Iranians mean to bring peace to the Middle East by nuking Israel. Just a thought, of course.

 Announcing the strikes to eliminate "imminent threats from the Iranian regime" which "directly endangers the United States, our troops, our bases overseas, and our allies throughout the world," President Trump said, "A short time ago, the United States Military began major combat operations in Iran."

The strikes are intended to destroy Iran's stockpiles of missiles and to "obliterate" Iran’s missile production industry, the President said. The intent, he explained,  is to prevent Iranian nuclear-tipped long-range missiles from ever threatening the American mainland or America’s allies in Europe.

This is also about bringing regime change to the Islamic Republic. President Trump called on the armed forces, paramilitary, and police of Iran to lay down their weapons. If they did so they would receive "complete immunity" and be treated fairly, he said, but else would face "certain death". 

 

POTUS also called on the Iranian people to take this opportunity to rise up against the government, stating "the hour of your freedom is at hand" and they would not likely get another second chance. "Stay sheltered," he said, "Don’t leave your home, it’s very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere. When we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take. This will, probably be your only chance for generations… now is the time to seize control of your destiny."