Where's the common sense?

A lot of what's going on in the world today, especially in the Excited States of America, makes no sense to me. For instance, if you and your "community" feel that you have been oppressed by some other "community", why would you protest by burning down your own neighbourhood? Where's the common sense in that?

I was going to give some more examples, but in the interest of saving space will just cut to an obituary, supposedly first published in the Times of London, shared with us by Agent 9.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- knowing when to come in out of the rain
- knowing why the early bird gets the worm
- understanding that life isn't always fair, and
- realizing that maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun block or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by:
- his parents, Truth and Trust,
- his wife, Discretion,
- his daughter, Responsibility, and
- his son, Reason.

He is survived by his five stepchildren:
- I know my rights
- I want it now
- Someone else is to blame
- I'm a victim, and
- Pay me for doing nothing.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. RIP.