Remember National Lampoon, "The Humor Magazine for Adults"? In its heyday, from the beginning in 1970 through the mid-1980s, it had some excellent writing -- humour in a jugular vein [That was MAD. Ed.] -- by such fine funny fellows as Chris Beard, Doug Kenney, and the inimitable P.J. O'Rourke (my favourite).Regular features included Letters from the Editor, Funny Pages (excellent comix by the likes of Charles Rodrigues, B.K. Taylor and Shary Flenniken), Photo Phunnies, and another of my favourites, the True Section. The True Section comprised True Facts and True Photos, real-life stuff proving that the truth is stranger than fiction. You couldn't make such stuff up!
Included in the True Facts, from time to time were examples, contributed by readers, of actual laws which were either badly written or just plain stupid in and of themselves. For example: In Massachusetts it is illegal for a goat to wear trousers.
I don't know if that's true now, or ever was true. In fact it doesn't come from the NatLamp True Section, but from a book by Leland Gregory called S Is For Stupid (Andrews McMeel, 2011). Mr Gregory says these are true (and stupid/funny) laws, and I'll take his word for it. They sure made me laugh!
Cats are forbidden to ride on public buses in Seattle if there is a dog already on board. Also, any dog weighing more than 25 pounds must pay the full adult fare.
No person shall knowingly keep or harbor at his house or her house within the city any woman of ill-repute, lewd character, or a common prostitute...other than wife, mother, or sister. (Ashland KY ordinance)
Burglars are prohibited from entering or leaving the scene of a crime by the front door. (Lincoln NE ordinance)
Whoever operates an automobile or motorcycle on any public way -- laid out under authority of law recklessly or while under the influence of liquor shall be punished. (Massachusetts state ordinance. The absence of a second em-dash would seem to impose on the motorist the duty of finding out at his peril whether certain highways had been laid our recklessly or while under the influence of liquor, before driving his car over them.)
No dog shall be in public without its master on a leash. (Belvedere CA ordinance)
In Alaska it is against the laws to disturb a grizzly bear in order to take its picture. (A crime with its own unique punishment?)
Speed upon country roads will be limited to 10 miles an hour unless the motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a drink in 30 days, then the driver will be permitted to make what he can. (??? El Dorado County CA law)
Mississippi common law states that every citizen has a right to shoot to kill if necessary when escorting a woman home from a quilting party and another man interferes and threatens to shoot him.
That's enough stupid/funny laws for one day. Ed. Anyone who collects National Lampoon magazines is recommended to search eBay this month. One of our assiduous readers has dozens of them on sale (by auction) at reasonable prices.
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