UPDATED: Canada's feminist PM demotes blonde bimbos

Immediately upon his election four years ago, Canada's allegedly metrosexual, avowedly feminist and decidedly woke Prime Minister Just In Trudeau vowed to have equal numbers of men and women in his cabinet. Gender identity thus became Priority One, ahead of intellect, experience and competence.

The result was the appointment of Chrystia Freeland and Catherine McKenna as Ministers of Foreign Affairs and the Environment respectively. The two bottle blondes quickly became the most loathed and reviled members of the government of Canuckistan.

Chrystia Freeland, who represents an uber-elite riding in downtown Toronto, distinguished herself by:
- Throwing a "These people are impossible!" hissy fit when attempting to negotiate a trade agreement with the European Union
- So annoying American officials trying to renegotiate the North American Free Trade Agreement that they suggested it would be better if she stopped attending the meetings
- Pissing off the Saudis by demanding (!) the release of human rights activists jailed for violating the Oil Kingdom's laws
- Appearing in public in a white dress with bodice so tight that bumps looking like nipples were clearly visible to those who didn't avert their eyes.

Catherine McKenna, who was re-elected in an Ottawa riding where 98% of the voters work for the federal government, and know enough not to bite the hand that feeds them, quickly earned the sobriquet "Climate Barbie" for her hysterical rants about the imminent destruction of Mother Earth. She:
- enraged Western Canadians by suggesting that the oil on which their economy depends ought to be left in the ground
- opposing the construction of new pipelines (success!) and the expansion of the existing Trans-Mountain pipeline (partial success)
- passing a regulation further limiting the number of polar bears Inuit [former "Eskimo". Ed.] hunters could take, in the face of their testimony that polar bears are no more endangered than they were 50 years ago
- calling Canadians who didn't believe that in climate change ignorant and "unpatriotic"
- demanding that the meeja and other Canucks stop calling her "hateful names" like "Climate Barbie" and, errr, the C-word which was spray-painted on her constituency office the night of her re-election.

Canucks and others who find all this a bit hard to believe are invited to check out Walt's numerous sarcastic and disparaging posts about Ms Freeland and Ms McKenna.

But there's good news coming today for long-suffering Canucks. In about six hours, Prime Minister Trudeau will draw back the curtain to reveal his new and improved (???) cabinet. Apparently somewhat chastened by his rejection in large swathes of the Great No-longer-white North (not one Liberal elected in Alberta or Saskatchewan), Mr Socks is expected to shuffle Ms Freeland and Mr McKenna off centre stage, to positions in the wings, behind the potted plants.

Foreign Affairs magazine named Ms Freeland "Diplomat of the Year" for 2018. Walt's agent in the world's second-coldest capital city says that by this afternoon, the would-be successor to Mr Socks will be employing her diplomatic skills "domestically". Canada's constitution doesn't provide for a "Deputy Prime Minister", but rumour has it that the position, heretofore filled on an ad hoc basis by whoever was willing to take one for the team, will now be made official, complete with office, staff, limousine, all the stuff that Ms Freeland got used to while swanning around the capitals of the world as Foreign Affairs/Global Affairs Minister. She will thus enjoy all the influence that Vice-President Pence has in the US of A.

It's unclear where Ms McKenna will be going, except that it won't be Environment/Climate Change or Natural Resources. Some wags say that Greta Thunberg will be made an honorary Canuck and appoint to the Senate, so to become the new Minister for Deindustrialization, but somehow I doubt that. (Lifetime pct .982.) Ms McKenna will probably get something where her sensitivity to the needs of ordinary working-class Canadians can be put to good use. Minister of Revenue, perhaps. Or Minister of Refugees, Immigration and Citizenship. (There is such a ministry. Walt wouldn't kid you.)

Once the new and improved cabinet is installed, Prime Minister Trudeau is expected to take his family on a long overdue vacation to visit with his friend George Soros on the Aga Khan's private island in the Caribban. [Ed., please check. Didn't they already do that?]

UPDATE ADDED 22/11/19: This guide to the Trudeau government's new ministries appeared atop Chris Selley's column in today's National Post.

As Nelson Muntz sez... (see above)...