New fat bomb hits California

Americans continue to hold top spot in the world obesity rankings. Apparently they like it that way, in spite of having to squeeze their enormous butts into airplane seats designed for willowy Asian girls, and having to ignore mooing noises as they waddle one-abreast down Main Street USA.

If Americans didn't enjoy being fat, why would people like Charlie Boghosian -- owner of Chicken Charlie's -- keep dreaming up new fat foods, like deep-fried Kool Aid balls, made with flour, water and cherry-flavored Kool Aid.

But deep-fried Kool Aid is soooo 2011. This year the fat-filled treat that can't be beat is... wait for it... deep-fried cereal! The latest fat bomb, made with Trix or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, debuted at the San Diego fair earlier this month. Charlie tops the grease-balls with syrup and a few pieces of cereal.

Sadly, Charlie's balls debuted to discouraging reviews. Shauntel Lowe (who looks as if she might know a thing or two about the matter of which we speak) wrote: "When I was trying the deep-fried Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the pool of grease in the bottom of the basket made me clutch my heart a little. The doughy ball of greasy cereal wasn't bad, but it definitely isn't something I'd go out of my way to buy. [My taste-testing partner] Candace called the Trix edition 'disappointing'."

Perhaps Shauntel and Candace should have tried something more wholesome, like Charlie's deep-fried avocados or deep-fried Girl Scout cookies. Really. You can look it up.

Further reading on WWW:
"Showers for those who can't see their toes" -- I couldn't figure out why people keep looking at this post until I had another look and saw the picture Ed. chose.
"Disney anti-obesity show: what you WON'T see" -- If you're going to see the Mouse this summer, check this out.
"FAT in life, FAT in death" -- Don't worry. When you fatten yourself to death on deep-fried cereal, they won't have to bury you in a dumpster. You might have trouble squeezing through those pearly gates though.