The winner of the Knox County (TN) Stork Derby for the first decade (or so) of the 21st century is... drum roll... envelope please... Desmond Hatchett, age 33, of Knoxville. Since 1997 Dirty Des has fathered no fewer than 30 pickaninnies with 11 different baby mamas! What a feat! [It ain't his feat wut done it! Ed.]
How, you may ask, was Mr. Hatchett able to set what Melissa Gibson, an assistant supervisor with the Knox County child support clerk's office, thinks is the county record for most children. It's quite amazing, especially considering that he'd managed to beget only 21 sprogs up until 2009, when he told WREG-TV in Memphis he was done procreatin'.
Walt will do the math for you. Yes, Des has become a father nine times in the past three years! In a subsequent interview, Hatchett explained, "I had four kids in the same year. Twice."
So who's paying to look after all these kids? Walt knows what you're thinking, but Ms Gibson couldn't or wouldn't say whether their mothers are receiving "social assistance". (That's what we call "welfare" nowadays.) Anyway, it sure isn't Hatchett, because state law requires that no more than 50% of his wages can be withheld for support payments. And that's when he's working, which is, errr, not all the time. That's why he was in court last week, asking for a break on those payments.
Again, Walt will do the math for you. The minimum wage in TN is $7.25 per hour, which would come to... errr... $290 per week. OK, let's say $1250 per month, of which 50% would be $625, divided by 30 comes to just under $21 per little bastard per month. Not really enough, is it.
Is there a lesson in all this? If so, it would seem Des and 11 different women have yet to learn it. As a traditional Catholic, Walt can hardly advocate forced sterilization, but -- leaving religious principles aside -- there are times when something like China's One Child Policy makes a good deal of common sense. No kidding!
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