Africa today: Zimbabwe couple terrified by goblins

As careful readers will have worked out, Walt has connections with and in southern Africa -- in particular, Zimbabwe, the fief of one of the Comrade Bob Mugabe, one of the world's worst dictators.

It is tempting to say that under Mugabe's "majority rule" -- read, black rule -- Zimbabwe has gone back to bush, just like the rest of sub-Saharan Africa. The truth is that even now, in the 21st century, many Africans still have "one foot in the bush", as the old saying goes.

Here's an example, from today's online edition of NewsDay, an independent (not state-controlled) Zimbabwean Daily. I'll just quote it verbatim. No comment or editorial embellishment could make it more bizarre. Reader discretion is advised!

'Goblins' haunt couple

The love for quick riches has backfired for a Bulawayo man who yesterday confessed to buying five “goblins” which he said were now sexually molesting his wife. Malibeni Mhlanga of Entumbane suburb confessed to NewsDay yesterday his “goblins” were traumatising his wife, Margaret Dube.

Mhlanga said he bought the five “goblins” in Insuza — 80km north of Bulawayo — but he now remained with two as the other three were killed in an exorcising ceremony. The man claimed he acquired the goblins to amass wealth, but all that had remained a pipedream as the traditional healer who sold him the creatures had died.

His neighbours said their wives were also being sexually abused by the gnomes at night. Scores of residents gathered at Mhlanga’s home yesterday demanding that he be removed from the area.

“I am seeking assistance to ensure the removal or destruction of these goblins because it now affects our daily lives such that we cannot even live in our own house,” he said. “I had five goblins, but two have remained and I cannot live in this house. I urinate blood every time, and it has sex with my wife every time.”

His wife confirmed the “abuse”. “It walks like a goat, and when it has sex with me, I often feel tired and spit blood. One day my bag was mysteriously increasing in size and we called a Gokwe prophet to cleanse our homestead. It (the goblin) looked like an owl, the prophet removed two snakes, a human-creature-like goblin which when ripped apart contained a picture of our son,” she said.

“After the event, a tenant who lived here was involved in an accident. We have sought assistance from the police and we had a meeting with the councillor yesterday. This thing is a mysterious. It is a power that is in use.”

Dube said the goblin follows her to an extent where her relatives do not want to live with her.