Leaders to settle fate of Arctic in hockey shoot-out

The Toronto Star's Rick Westhead reports today that the leaders of the two biggest countries in the world are making plans to play on teams that will oppose each other in two exhibition games to be played in September.

The two leaders referred to are Russia's Vlad "the Impaler" Poutine and Canada's Steve "Harpoon" Harper. (Sorry, the USA is only the world's third-biggest country.) The games are being played as part of a month-long event to mark the 40th anniversary of the eight-game Canada-U.S.S.R. Summit Series of 1972. Canada lost three of the first five games of that series, but went on to win.

To make things interesting, Canada and Russia are putting up a pretty impressive prize -- nothing less than control of the Arctic Ocean! Or so Walt's source reports. Winner gets to drill for oil, take home all the ice, then water-ski at will. So we're talking "high-sticks diplomacy" here! (I wish I'd written that, but it's Westhead's line.)

Who will win the gold ... and silver, and bronze, and ice? And who will be left eating the yellow snow? The Star's photo tells you all you need to know.

Someone needs to tell Mr. Harpoon that hockey is played on ice. On skates. You don't wear your Sunday-go-to-meeting pants. And Steve... both hands on your stick, eh! Walt's prediction? No contest. Lifetime pct .981.