Walt is sick

Ed. here. Walt has been violently ill since 1600 EDT on Wednesday. I have put him to bed with a pitcher of Ma Nifkins' jellied gin and am hopeful that he will be able to write again by the beginning of the week.

Derfining "woke"

How are the Habs doing? Are they going to make the playoffs?

While we wait for the shoes -- the Trump tariffs -- to drop, let's talk hockey. 

Last night's game between the Stanley Cup champion Florida Panthers and our beloved Montréal Canadiens was a real thriller. With 10 seconds left on the clock, Habs captain Nick Suzuki scored to lift les Glorieux into a 2-2 tie. Then he did it again at 30 second of the OT, et les boyz ont remporté la victoire, 3 à 2. Olé, olé, olé!

At this point we'd turn this space over to Poor Len Canayen, our National Sports (as long ss it's hockey) Editor, but Len is on sabbatical or something like that, so we're taking the liberty of posting a mash-up of Global TV's Brian Wilde's "Call of the Wilde", which says everything that Len would have said, only better. [And with no run-on sentences. Ed.] Thanks, Brian!

With nine games to play and six at home, the Montréal Canadiens have the advantage for the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. The opportunity is in front of them, but they have to keep executing. 

Every night is Lane Hutson Night. The assault on the record book continues. He's a point-per-game player since the Four Nations break. Hutson notched an assist on the first goal for the Canadiens on a deflection from Josh Anderson. That line was a handful and the best on the night for Montreal. 

Hutson now has 57 assists in his rookie season. He has moved ahead of Chris Chelios for second in assists all-time for a rookie defender. He trails only Larry Murphy for assists for a rearguard rookie in the history of the National Hockey League. Murphy had 60 assists. Three in eight games for the tie. 

Hutson's 62 points overall is also top-ten in the history of the game for rookie defenders. He could conceivably rise to third overall at his present pace. It must be stressed again that the entire top-15 list is from an era where the average goal total in a contest was 11 or 12; not six or seven goals.

The best this century before Hutson was Quinn Hughes with 53 points on 45 assists. Hutson has obliterated the best numbers in the last 25 years of rookies on the blue line. Hutson is remarkable. They might just scout differently. this kid is so special. 

Smaller players with world-class vision and creativity might not be treated like they will never make the major leagues. What doesn't get enough attention as he makes his meteoric rise to the upper echelon in the history of the game is he is improving tremendously in his own zone as well. 

The Canadiens are in the mix for a playoff spot, and Hutson is, without a doubt, the single biggest change to this roster from last season. Nick Suzuki is having his best campaign. Cole Caufield has had a strong season. Juraj Slafkovsky has had an excellent second half. The Dvorak line is giving the opposition fits these days. Brendan Gallagher is playing the best hockey he has played in years, and Christian Dvorak's best moments as a Canadiens player are right now.

The fourth line had their remarkable run when they were best in the league in goals at one point for a fourth line. On defence, Jayden Struble has improved. Kaiden Guhle is improving still. Alexandre Carrier was a great addition via trade. 

However, all of those reason pale in comparison to the difference Hutson has made to this team in five months. He is just getting started. There are times that it is apparent that he will be even better than this when he sees how much he can actually fool the opposition. They have seen what he can do. They have adapted to him as well as they can. He still is playing chess to their checkers.The rebuild is going just fine, Montréal! 

Your Singhs today (Canadian election edition)

One week into the campaign -- just four left -- and things are not looking good for the pinko NDP (New Democratic Party, which is neither "new" nor "democratic"). Under the leadership of Jagmeet Singh, it has sunk to single digits in the polls -- right down there with the Green Party, the People's Party of Canada (too bad, Max!) and None of the Above. 

To make matters worse, the Knee-Dippers are already out of money. Changes in election financing law some years back put a stop to the cash flow from union checkoffs, and the blue-collar types who used to vote NDP have left it to the Volvo progressives, who drive Volvos because they don't give their money away.

So Jugmeet Singh and his advisors have had to come up with a new fundraising scheme. Here it is.

Sikh mothers across Canada (especially the many in Brampton ON and Surrey BC) are being used to donate at least one of their daughters for the good of the cause. "One girl more or less, makes no difference. Plenty more where they came from!" 

Note from Ed.: Before you run out to report Walt to the Anti-Racism Police, take note of today's date.

What? You don't know how to cook bacon?

Walt is "batching" it, so has started to pay attention to cooking instructions...

...but does know how to cook bacon, having learned by watching this excellent cooking show on SCTV.

Canadian election: Whose side is Trump on?

For our readers who don't live in the People's Republic of Canuckistan, here's a quick guide to what's happening in the general election, set for April 28th.

On the left in the photos below -- but not so hard left as his loony colleagues Steven Guilbeault and Chrystia Freeland -- is Mark Carney, leader of the Gliberal Party of Canada.Unlike the other two, Mr Carnage has never been elected to anything. But was Governor of the Bank of Canada and the Bank of England. He is a banker, and a member of the WEF liberal elite.

On the right -- but not so hard right as his former colleague Maxime Bernier, now leader of the People's Party of Canada -- is Pierre Poilievre, leader of the Conservative Party of Canada. Mr Poilievre is a much-elected politician and former member of the cabinet of the much-unloved Steven Harpoon. This is his first test as leader of the Cuckservatives.

M Poilievre dislikes being referred to as "Pipi" (American readers note: it's pronounced "pee-pee".) He enjoyed being called "Canada's Donald Trump"... until recently.

For you see, gentle reader, the vast [or at least half-vast. Ed.] majority of Canucks dislike President Donald J. Trump. Intensely. Their fear and loathing of the Donald [That would make a good book title. If only HST were still alive. Ed.] has intensified since January 20th, owing to Mr Trump's straight-faced suggestions that Canada shoujld become the 51st of the Excited States of Canada, and his nonsensical campaign of tariffs to make it so.

The Liberal propagandists who run the state-owned CB C (Canadian Broadcorping Castration) as well and other lickspittle media (CBC) have put together a surprisingly effective TV commerical in which they juxtapose quotes from President Trump with quotes from Pipi, which shows them to be saying basically the same things. 

They're painting M Poilievre as "just like Trump", and it seems to be working. The Tories have plummeted in the polls while the Liberals have risen, and now lead by around five points. Having a new leader to replace the hated Emperor Trudeau has helped the Grits, but it's the comparison with POTUS that bites the Cuckservatives in the ass.

A few days before the election was called, President Trump made public out his unflattering opinion of M Poilievre, saying he is "not a MAGA guy." Pouncing on the chance to distance himself from Mr Trump, Pipi responded on X, "Mr President, it is true. I am not MAGA. I am for Canada First. Always. Canada has always been America’s best friend & ally. But we will NEVER be the 51st state."

President Trump attacked M Poilievre during a nearly hour-long interview with Ben Domenech, editor-at-large at the British magazine The Spectator. He warned Pipi not to make the mistake of thinking he will "be the tough guy"” and "knock out Trump. They all make that mistake… They end up getting the hell beat out of them."

Will saying that President Trump doesn't like him help the Cuckservative leader at the polls in which Canada's relations with the US of A be the chief issue? Was Mr Trump trying to give M Poilievre a boost by putting daylight between them? Is a puzzlement, especially given his Big Friendly Phone Call with the new Liberal leader yesterday..

Prime Minister Carnage and President Trump held their first-ever conversation on Friday, after which the former announced that they had agreed to comprehensive negotiations... after the upcoming federal election. Presumably if M Poilievre wins all bets are off.

"The spirit of the call was both cordial and focused on making progress," Mr Carney told the assembled lapdogs at a campaign event in  Montréal later in the day. You could almost hear the smirk on his face as he said, "The president respected Canada’s sovereignty today, both in his private and public comments."

Until yesterday, Mr Trump repeatedly trolled former PM Blackie McBlackiface, calling him "Governor Trudeau" of the hypothetical 51st state. But after the call, POTUS repeatedly referred to Mr Carnage as "prime minister".

And there was more (comparative) sweetness and light. Speaking to reporters in the Oval Office, President Trump said he will "absolutely" follow through on his threat of large-scale tariffs if Canada take actions against the American economy. Yet he also toned down his language toward Canada, who he has previously accused of ripping off and "cheating" the US of A on trade but declined to say so again. 

"I'm not referring to Canada," he said pointedly, "but many other countries have been taking advantage of us... We had a very good talk, the prime minister and myself, and I think things are going to work out very well between Canada and the United States."

What's going on? Why the sudden change of tone? Are yesterday's statements meant to help Mr Carnage by showing that Mr Trump can get along with him? Or to hurt Mr Carnage by showing that Mr Trump can get along with him? How would I know? President Trump's logic is too deep for me. I need my hip-waders.

And what about you? Do you still believe?

Scraped from The Patriot Post. For "NPR", Canadian readers please read "CBC" and British readers please read "BBC".