HOCKEY VIDEOS: Brad Marchand goes off on chicken Swede

Always liked Brad Marchand, good Acadian (American readers, think "Cajun") boy from around Halifax NS. In 2018, when he was playing for the Boston Bruins, he got into hot water for licking Tampa Bay's Ryan Callahan during a heated playoff match. In this first video he explains why he did that.

He got told, really told, by the NHL not to do that kind of thing, lest people think hockey was becoming as gay as soccer. But no such warning could quell or abate the famous Marchand temper, which found other ways to express itself.

Fast forward to this past Saturday night, when the veteran Marchand, now with the Florida Panthers, absolutely loses it after a crosscheck from behind by your typical chicken Swede (h/t Don Cherry for that phrase) Rasmus Dahlin, in the match between the Panthers and Buffalo Sabres.

Dahlin turtled, afraid to take the consequences of poking the bear, and Marchand pounces on him, yanks off his (Dahlin's) helmet, then tears it apart while sitting in the sin bin.

 

Cost to Dahlin (fine imposed by the NHL Dept. of Player Safety), $5000. Entertainment value: priceless! Says Poor Len Canayen, "Wouldn't he look great in a Habs sweater?!"

NHL Stanley Cup finals: how come fewer Americans are watching?

Yes, it's that time of year again! We know it's spring because the Leafs are out... of the Stanley Cup playoffs. But the defending champions, the Florda Panthers, will face off in about nine hours against the Edmonton Oilers, last year's runner-ups... runners-up?... the team the Panthers beat last year. The competition will be fierce, yet fewer and fewer Americans will be watching. Our National Sports (as long as it's hockey) Editor, Poor Len Canayen, thinks he knows why.  

Tank youse, Hed! Even though la Sainte Flannelle didn't make it to the finals, Habs fans were pleased that they got through to the first round, and it was certainly no disgrace to lose to the Panthers. So I'm following the final series with interest, and am pleased to report that the quality of the games (as evidenced in Game 1) is excellent. 

The bad news is that statistics reported recently in Sports Business Journal, NHL viewership in the US of A was down 12% in the regular season, 25% in the first two rounds of the Stanley Cup playoffs and a whopping 31% in the Conference Finals. Wha hoppen?!

IMHO it's not the quality of the hockey being played, let alone the sport itself, that's to blame. The NHL is suffering from a flawed business proposition, advocated for decades now by (((Gary Bettmann))), the American lawyer who never laced on a pair of skates, yet has tenure as Commissioner (read: boss) of the National Hockey League.

From Day One, Mr Bitchman argued that the only way to grow the sport was to put teams in locales other than the US northeast. He encouraged the establishment of teams in such sun-drenched climes as Raleigh NC, Atlanta and Nowheresville AZ. 

The Atlanta franchise failed twice and was moved to Calgary. The Arizona team, which had neither a permanent home nor more than two die-hard fans (Sid and Doris Bonkers), was moved this year to Utah... Utah!... because Gary wouldn't cave to pressure to restore the Québec team which he'd moved to Colorado.

The Carolina Hurricanes, based in Raleigh, got into the playoffs and played to SRO crowds. The Florida Panthers generally attract good crowds, because their home base is in Sunrise, part of Fort Lauderdale, where the majority of residents are Canadians. 

But does anyone watch the southern teams on TV? Nah. If you lived in North Carolina or Florida or Dallas, would you want to be sitting indoors of a warm May or June evening watching hockey? Fuggedabahtit.

That NHL viewership is in decline has to do with the business of TV sports rather than the location of the teams or the quality of the games. Today's hockey telecasts are carefully produced to fill three hours of air time, even though actual playing time is just one hour!

To pad out the allotted time, each 20-minute period is interrupted by three -- count `em, 3 -- "TV timeouts", which are filled with commercials. Then there are the two 15- or 20-minute intermissions, in which a panel of progessional gabbers tell us what we've just seen. The same thing happens before we get to watch the singing of the national anthems the puck drops, and afterwards, if the game finishes early.

Whoever's responsible for these incredibly boring TV shows obviously doesn't understand the audience. Today's young people -- the millennials and gen-whatevers -- have the attention spans of mosquitoes. They won't, they can't sit still for a quarter-hour of dreck. When I saw "Virtual PK" Subban on ABC/ESPN, I nearly broke my wrist changing the channel. More about ESPN's  "colour(ed) commentator" later today.

Yes, there are still die-hard traditionalists in Canada and the northeastern states who still watch hockey on TV. But was aren't as tech savvy as the kids, and less likely to subscribe to streaming services and specialty channels like Amazon's Monday night hockey or the Bank of Nova Scotia's Wednesday night version. And we resent being asked to pay extra... or anything... for what used to be free!

Putting business and the almighty dollar -- the almighty US dollar, that is -- ahead of sport has just about killed hockey, at least on TV. Maybe that's not so bad. Hockey is best viewed (as well as played) outdoors, in sub-zero temperatures (the ice is faster, then) or at least in an old, unheated barn designated as the Soandso Memorial Arena. Hockey isn't just another "entertainment product". It's a sport!

How are the Habs doing? Are they going to make the playoffs?

While we wait for the shoes -- the Trump tariffs -- to drop, let's talk hockey. 

Last night's game between the Stanley Cup champion Florida Panthers and our beloved Montréal Canadiens was a real thriller. With 10 seconds left on the clock, Habs captain Nick Suzuki scored to lift les Glorieux into a 2-2 tie. Then he did it again at 30 second of the OT, et les boyz ont remporté la victoire, 3 à 2. Olé, olé, olé!

At this point we'd turn this space over to Poor Len Canayen, our National Sports (as long ss it's hockey) Editor, but Len is on sabbatical or something like that, so we're taking the liberty of posting a mash-up of Global TV's Brian Wilde's "Call of the Wilde", which says everything that Len would have said, only better. [And with no run-on sentences. Ed.] Thanks, Brian!

With nine games to play and six at home, the Montréal Canadiens have the advantage for the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. The opportunity is in front of them, but they have to keep executing. 

Every night is Lane Hutson Night. The assault on the record book continues. He's a point-per-game player since the Four Nations break. Hutson notched an assist on the first goal for the Canadiens on a deflection from Josh Anderson. That line was a handful and the best on the night for Montreal. 

Hutson now has 57 assists in his rookie season. He has moved ahead of Chris Chelios for second in assists all-time for a rookie defender. He trails only Larry Murphy for assists for a rearguard rookie in the history of the National Hockey League. Murphy had 60 assists. Three in eight games for the tie. 

Hutson's 62 points overall is also top-ten in the history of the game for rookie defenders. He could conceivably rise to third overall at his present pace. It must be stressed again that the entire top-15 list is from an era where the average goal total in a contest was 11 or 12; not six or seven goals.

The best this century before Hutson was Quinn Hughes with 53 points on 45 assists. Hutson has obliterated the best numbers in the last 25 years of rookies on the blue line. Hutson is remarkable. They might just scout differently. this kid is so special. 

Smaller players with world-class vision and creativity might not be treated like they will never make the major leagues. What doesn't get enough attention as he makes his meteoric rise to the upper echelon in the history of the game is he is improving tremendously in his own zone as well. 

The Canadiens are in the mix for a playoff spot, and Hutson is, without a doubt, the single biggest change to this roster from last season. Nick Suzuki is having his best campaign. Cole Caufield has had a strong season. Juraj Slafkovsky has had an excellent second half. The Dvorak line is giving the opposition fits these days. Brendan Gallagher is playing the best hockey he has played in years, and Christian Dvorak's best moments as a Canadiens player are right now.

The fourth line had their remarkable run when they were best in the league in goals at one point for a fourth line. On defence, Jayden Struble has improved. Kaiden Guhle is improving still. Alexandre Carrier was a great addition via trade. 

However, all of those reason pale in comparison to the difference Hutson has made to this team in five months. He is just getting started. There are times that it is apparent that he will be even better than this when he sees how much he can actually fool the opposition. They have seen what he can do. They have adapted to him as well as they can. He still is playing chess to their checkers.The rebuild is going just fine, Montréal! 

A timely message for the Florida Panthers

This afternoon, at 1900 EDT, the NHL's Florida Panthers face the Toronto Maple Leafs -- Sheldon Keefe's Little Spuds Hard to Peel -- in Game 2 of their Stanley Cup playoff series. Despite having won Game 1, the Panthers remain the underdogs. Walt hopes they will be mindful of this advice from a great sage.

 

And our National Sports (as long as it's hockey) Editor, Poor Len Canayen, adds:

To understand hockey is to understand Canada

The Bettman-induced shortened National Hockey League season is a little more than half-way over. In another few weeks playoffs will begin. Hockey fans are happy, especially north of the World's Longest Undefended Border™ where "local" teams are doing surprisingly well.

To their fans' surprise -- and likely their own -- the Toronto Maple Laffs, although in a tailspin at the moment, are still playoff contenders, as has not been the case for years. And Walt's dear Montréal Canadiens -- Canada's team [Florida's too! Ed.] -- are leading their division. All is well with the world.

Why is that Canadians -- or a large proportion of them, at least -- get so passionate about hockey? Canuck sports writer Bruce Dowbiggin claims it's because hockey is a metaphor for Canada itself, a physical expression of the Canadian soul. So he writes in The Meaning of Puck: How hockey explains modern Canada (Key Porter, 2008). Here's an excerpt.

With their vast horizons and often passive nature, Canadians (English more so than French) are not necessarily a contemplative people and hockey is not a contemplative game. The Pulitzer Prize winner Richard Ford called it "an uninteresting sport played by Canadians." For many Americans -- used to the pauses and ellipses of baseball or football -- it is a busy, baffling spectacle. "Hockey on radio sounds like one long mistake," said former NBA coach Gene Shue.

Like dental surgery, hockey is a business best gotten on with briskly and without too much contemplation. Even when the pauses arrive in the sport -- be they intermissions or the contrived TV breaks -- there is little self-examination involved in hockey. Players have just enough time to catch their breaths, spit multiple times and then go at it once more. Fans seize a beer, put the kids to bed and then resume their appointed rounds. That matter-of-fact approach appeals to Canadians, its brisk rhythms warming them against the snow.

There's more in that vein, plus Mr. Dowbiggin's traditional diatribes against fighting in hockey and Don Cherry. Mr. D. succeeds in proving only that, in spite of having relocated to Calgary, he remains one of the latte-swilling, gentrified urban elite who, while they may understand TROC (The Rest Of Canada -- the Tim Hortons drinkers), are not a part of it.

Memo to Bruce Dowbiggin from Ed.: Next time, go with a publisher who's willing to spend a few Beaverbucks on editing and proofreading. "Steve Santos"? C'mon! And the index is a joke -- apparently compiled by someone who never read the book.

Note from Walt to Floridians: If you don't believe what I said about les Canadiens being Florida's team, go to a Tampa Bay Lightning or Florida Panthers "home" game and count the number of sweaters bearing the CH versus those with the logo of the "local" team.

Pop quiz: When was the last time five "Canadian" teams got through to NHL post-season play? You'll find the answer in "It looks like most of Canada will finally get to enjoy the NHL playoffs", in today's National Post.