Zimbabwe parliament a model for Africa... and America ???

Comrade ED (Erectile Dysfunction?) Mnangagwa, President of Zimbabwe, listens attentively as the shithole country's parliament discusses how much foreign aid money (Thank you, America!) to pay its members for rubber-stamping whatever acts of profligacy or repression his kleptocratic "government" puts before them. Here is Zimbabwe Newsday's report of their "debate".

Members of Parliament yesterday arm-twisted Finance minister Mthuli Ncube into raising their budgetary allocation by 44% and demanded the latest 4×4 luxury Toyota Land Cruisers, among other perks, despite the government implementing austerity measures to contain its runaway spending. Parliament bid for $163 million in the 2019 budget, but was allocated $101 million.

Yesterday, MPs from across the political divide threatened that they would not pass Ncube’s 2019 National Budget unless they got things their way. After haggling, the MPs eventually settled for $145 million after they demanded that their welfare be improved to equal that of members of the Executive and the Judiciary. They also want Parliament to be equipped with state-of-the-art gyms, vehicles, computers, and other such luxuries.

In his "Austerity for Prosperity" budget, Ncube sought to cap government borrowing, cut spending on flagship projects as command agriculture, end all quasi-fiscal expenditure and limit borrowing from the central bank to 5% of the prior year’s revenue. He also cut salaries for the President and senior government officials by 5% and will fire the nearly 4000 "youth officers" by year-end. Ncube also cut the amount of bonuses paid to civil servants, but the wage bill is still expected to go up by 5% to $4.05 billion in 2019, constituting 61% of total revenue from 73% this year.

The budget, however, piled the weight of austerity and more taxes on the ordinary citizen, who, in addition to the 2% tax on all electronic transactions, will also pay more in excise duty for fuel and cigarettes, while imports of vehicles and other goods is now levied in foreign currency. After getting their demands met, the MPs ignored the debate on the vote of the Public Service Commission, which takes care of the country’s impoverished civil servants, including teachers and doctors, despite doctors being on strike and teachers threatening one.

Norton MP Temba Mliswa (independent), who was instrumental in canvassing MPs to demand good perks, said, "MPs are handicapped and we are talking of only one car, a Land Cruiser, which is the only car good enough for MPs to do their work because the Mazdas and Toyotas we get are not good enough."

Mliswa said MPs were looked down upon because they did not even have iPads, adding that the $75 per diem was a pittance, and needed to be reviewed. Mliswa said the diet of MPs, where they eat a one course meal with a banana or apple for desert, was not proper as other Parliaments had more savoury desserts like trifles and ice cream. "MPs must have world-class gyms and recreational facilities to play golf. MPs must also be given diplomatic passports," Mliswa said.

Mbizo MP Settlement Chikwinya (MDC Alliance) said Parliament was so underfunded to the extent that it relied on development partners to finance the work of its committees. He added there was need to finance constituency information offices for MPs, and employ more staff in Parliament to assist in research and committee businesses.

Zanu PF's Goodlucky Kwaramba said MPs were impoverished as the Ford Ranger vehicles they were given last time were already broken down. Chegutu West MP Dextor Nduna (Zanu PF) said MPs were given fuel coupons in a humiliating manner. Wedza North MP David Musabayana (Zanu PF) said MPs were the poorer cousins of the Executive and Judiciary, to the extent that they begged for fuel coupons at ministers' offices for resale, as well as soliciting for allowances and gifts from organisations that fund parliamentary trips and committees.

Ncube promised that MPs would comparatively [sic] get their vehicles, but said the agreed model was a Toyota Hilux twin cab vehicle. Ncube said he would also look at the issue of pensions for MPs who have served for a term, and also suggested to increase Parliament's budget from $101 million to $120 million. But Binga North MP Prince Dubeko Sibanda (MDC Alliance) said it was not the duty of the Executive to appropriate finances, but Parliament, also adding legislators were not going to allow the budget to pass if it did not increase Parliament’s vote.

Sibanda said the $163 million that Parliament wanted did not even consider inflation. "If the minister does not allocate Parliament what it requests, then he should have his 2019 budget passed elsewhere," Sibanda said. After the increase, there was jubilation in the House, with MPs from across the political divide hugging Ncube.

And they say [you say! Ed.] Africans are incapable of governing themselves. Ha! Methinks there are lessons there for the Congress of the Excited States of America and for Still-President Donald Trump.

Mr Trump threatens a partial shutdown of government -- maybe not such a bad idea? -- unless the latest spending bill includes money for the much-needed wall to keep out the alien hordes. Yesterday, the House of Representatives voted 217-185 for a version of the bill which includes such funding. On Wednesday the Senate passed a different version, with no "wall money". 

As the honourable senators now consider the House version, they would do well to consider the advice of Prince Dubeko Sibanda. Give the President what he wants, but don't be afraid to demand additional tons of pork for yourselves and your families, friends and supporters! It's not just the African way, but the American way too!

When you're riding a dead horse...

One of Walt's agents thinks Niagara Falls is a pretty funny place. He passes along this little tidbit from the Niagara Falls Reporter.

The tribal wisdom of the Senecas, passed on from generation to generation, says that; “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.”

However, in Niagara Falls city government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Appointing a committee to study the horse
2. Lowering standards so that dead horses are not disposed of
3. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired
4. Telling everyone that we’ve always ridden our horses this way
5. Hiring contractors to resuscitate the dead horse
6. Hiring outside consultants to put together a training program for support staff to work better with the dead horse
7. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse’s performance
8. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance
9. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed , it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the city’s budget than do some other horses
10. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

The unfunny thing is that misgovernment is not exclusive to Niagara Falls or to municipal government. You can substitute any municipality or state/province or country and still be right on.

Note from Ed.: There may be a word missing from No. 10. Should read "dead horse's ass", surely.

Dark continent celebrates half-century of corruption and misrule

Africans from Casablanca to Cape Town are looking forward -- or maybe not -- to Sunday, when many of Africa's states will celebrate the 50th anniversary -- more or less -- of the "liberation" of the Dark Continent -- or much of it -- from the white settlers. If this sentence seems a little vague, that's because things in Africa are always vague.

A couple of African writers have noted that in throwing off the shackles of the European colonialists, the Africans (in the lands below the Sahara, at least) seem to have liberated themselves from the bonds of peace, order and good government -- indeed, of civilization itself. Vince Musewe (Zimbabwean) writes that "Africa remains in the economic backwoods and torn apart by civil wars, coups and counter-coups."

In Malawi (formerly known as Nyasaland, and before that British Central Africa) violence erupted during Tuesday's presidential elections. No-one was killed though, so that's considered a peaceful election by African standards.

In northern Africa, Al-Qaeda terrorises the Sahel region and is fomenting jihad against Christians in the Central African Republic and Mali south of the Sahara. That there hasn't (yet) been mass genocide is due mainly to the presence of armed forces from France, which happens to be, errr, the former colonial power.

A bit farther south, civil strife in the diamond-rich Congo (Kinshasa -- not to be confused with Congo Brazzaville) never seems to end. The UN has a token force in the Congo's far east, but local people seem to fear them as much as any of the other gangs of marauders.

In western Africa, Boko Haram continues to wreak havoc in Nigeria. #BringBackOurGirls slacktivism doesn't seem to have had much impact on them. Just yesterday, suicide bombers killed scores of people in marketplaces in two northern towns. The Disunited Nations is threatening to impose sanctions. US assistance in searching for the missing schoolgirls has been delayed by "technical problems".

Want more? In Zimbabwe, Comrade Robert Gabriel Mugabe, once touted to by western liberals as a great freedom fighter and another Mandela, clings to power at age 90-odd, crushing opposition and establishing a de facto one-party state, while turning the former Rhodesia into an economic basket case.

Like Zimbabwe, most of the states of central Africa have failed, collapsed or are weak. South Sudan -- the world's newest nation! -- has collapsed into tribal war. Guinea, Niger, Mauritania, and Guinea Bissau are failing as a result of coups and civil uprisings. Walt's agent in Madagascar reports that water and power outages, banditry and looting are daily occurrences.

Corruption is out of control in every African state, with one or two possible exceptions. African society laughs at honest and accountable leaders and cherishes "big men" like Mugabe and South Africa's Zuma.

In Liberia, from whence Ibrahim Al-bakri Nyei writes, about 75 people of Afro-American descent have held power for over 40 years, circulating the leadership amongst them to keep up appearances. The rest of the population still lives in poverty and hopelessness. Corruption is at its peak, casting doubts on the credibility of the regime and eroding public confidence in the state as a whole.

Conclusion: "Uhuru" (freedom/independence) remains an empty event for the majority of Africans. Why so? Could it be that the fact that blacks look like human beings and act like human beings, does not necessarily make them sensible human beings? This the theme of "Are we beast or man?", by Vince Musewe, an economist and author based in Harare.

Musewe quotes (with sorrow) from a speech made by former South African President P.W. Botha, speech made in that country's Parliament in 1987.

“We are not obliged even the least to prove to anybody and to the blacks that we [whites] are superior people. We have demonstrated that to the blacks 1001 ways. The Republic of South Africa that we know of today has not been created by wishful thinking. We have created it at the expense of intelligence, sweat and blood. We do not pretend like other whites that we like blacks.

"The fact that blacks look like human beings and act like human beings does not necessarily make them sensible human beings. If God had wanted us to be equal to blacks, He would have created all of a uniform colour and intellect. By now every one of us has seen it practically that blacks cannot rule themselves. Give them guns and they will kill each other.

"They are good at nothing else, but making noise, dancing, marrying many wives and indulging in sex. Let us all accept that the black man is a symbol of poverty, mental inferiority, laziness and emotional incompetence."

President Botha was a co-winner, with Nelson Mandela, of the Nobel Peace Prize, not because he changed his views on the fitness of blacks to run a modern nation-state, but because he worked with Mandela to ensure that the transition to "majority rule" in 1994 was as smooth and peaceful as possible, in the circumstances. Since then, South Africa has sliding the slippery slope downward, much like Zimbabwe, only not as quickly. It could take another 20 years or so under ANC rule before it hits bottom.

In his article, Musewe asks his fellow Zimbabweans: "What have we to show as a country since our independence in 1980?

"Horrifying corruption and outright theft, a leadership with an inexplicable obsession with luxury cars and sexual encounters, the destruction of prodigious value in all sectors of our economy, the use of arms of war against our Ndebele brothers and sisters, the decimation of agriculture and the dogfight over diamonds, the deliberate extermination of a national indigenous bourgeoisie, the destruction of our environment that is now happening particularly by small-scale tobacco growers and small-scale miners all under the name of indigenisation.

"In addition, just look at the dirt in our cities and townships, the noise that goes on daily, the potholes and sewage all over, the overcrowding and the common face of poverty, hopelessness and serious deterioration of our living standards. Look at our values and morals as a society and what we have become; the greed and selfishness all around us; all this, despite having the highest literacy rate in Africa!"

Can it there be said that Botha was fundamentally wrong or blinded by racism? Corruption, autocratic leadership, mismanagement, incompetence and misrule are the norms in today's Africa. Such is the fruit of the "liberation struggle" of the 60s which will be celebrated on Sunday.