"Don't touch that! It's H2SO4!" shouted Tom acidly

Most of Walt's readers are probably too young to remember Tom Swift. Tom Swift -- Tom Swift Jr., in the second series -- is the central character in five series of books of American juvenile sci-fi and adventure novels. The first book in the series appeared in 1910, and new titles have been published as recently as 2007, bringing the number of Tom Swift Books to over 100.

Translated into many languages, the books have sold over 30 million copies worldwide. Tom Swift has also been the subject of a board game and a television show. Development of a feature film based on the series was announced in 2008, but as far as I know, it never went into production.

What makes Tom Swift interesting to me is the way he talked. The numerous ghost writers who penned Tom Swift (under the name of Victor W. Appleton) never let Tom say anything simply. There was always an adverb following the quote to describe how Tom said it -- sternly, seriously, happily and so on.

This was such a cliché that people started making jokes about it -- puns or "Wellerisms". Examples: "Let's have a Judy Garland show!", said Tom gaily. - "Where's my favourite picture magazine?", asked Tom Lifelessly - "I can't find my old board game," said Tom Cluelessly.

Apparently Walt is not the only fan of these jokes, known for decades now as "Tom Swifties". This morning I discovered a whole website devoted to Tom Swifties, which includes a link to a dictionary of them. "I recommend it to all lovers of puns and word play," said Tom encouragingly! [That wasn't a very good one. Ed.]

Polish solon fined for politically incorrect joke

Reuters reports that a Polish legislator, Robert Wegrzyn of the ruling Civic Platform, apologized today for a joke he made about gays and lesbians. Here is the joke.

Asked yesterday by a TV commentator for his views on homosexuals forming legal civic partnerships, Mr. Wegrzyn said, “We can forget about gay men, but I would gladly watch lesbians.”

End of joke. Now for Walt's Polack joke of the day.
Question: How many Polacks does it take to tell a funny joke?
Answer: Obviously more than one.

Nevertheless... Mr. Wegrzyn's comments drew criticism from the usual gang of wimmin’s and LGTB groups, forcing Wegrzyn to say he was sorry for any offence he may have caused.

But, he added, “human beings are made in such a way that we should live in a partnership according to nature. If somebody wants to live differently, that’s his problem but he should not flaunt it.” No joke.