In the UK and Canada, the accepted way to "deal with" a scandal which is having unpleasant political repercussions is to hold a judicial inquiry or a royal commission. Here's how it works. You find an "unbiased" (but compliant) judge -- a retired judge verging on senility perhaps -- and give him terms of reference that effectively take away his fishing pole. That is, you restrict him from poking too deeply into the dirt at the heart of the matter.
A paradigm of futility would be Canada's famous White Oliphant commission, a topic Walt harped on [wrote on, surely. Ed.] back in 2010. The real scandal was the money that former Prime Minister Lyin' Brian Mullarkey received from Airbus Industries for his part in getting Air Canada (then a crown corporation) to buy a substantial number of its A320 aircraft.
However, the commissioner, Mr Justice Oliphant (retd), was told he was to enquire only into whether Baloney had had any business dealings while he was still prime minister with Karlheinz Schreiber, an oleaginous German-Canadian dealer in armored cars, spaghetti machines and what have you. It was Schreiber who gave the Jaw That Walks Like A Man brown envelopes full of 1000-dollar bills, which the Jaw stashed away and, errr, forgot about until the Mounties started investigating, errr, Schreiber.
The other thing you do, to make sure an inquiry or commission does no harm to anyone, is to deny it the power to punish anyone. It can make findings, and even recommendations, but don't let it initiate criminal proceedings or actually punish anyone or order anyone to do anything. Walt finds that this is ridiculous and recommends that future commissions actually be provided with a few teeth.
Fast forward three years and change location to London, where the British government and its broadcasting arm, the British Broadcorping Castration [British Broadcasting Corporation! Ed.] are up to their nether regions in shit over hundreds of sex crimes which (an independent broadcaster has revealed) were committed by the famous comedian and notorious paedophile, Sir Jimmy Savile.
"Sir Jimmy" got his knighthood from Her Britannic Majesty, by the way, and a similar honour from the late Unblessed Pope John Paul II. Embarrassingly for the Queen and the Vatican, the honours cannot somehow be taken back, since the old bugger mercifully died some months before his delicts came to light.
This week, Brits have been shocked [Shocked, I tell you! Ed.] by more claims of sexual abuse, this time by a senior politician of the Thatcher era. On the BBC's Newsnight programme, a young man said he had been abused by an unnamed politician -- not Lord McAlpine -- at the Bryn Estyn children's home in Wales.
The response of the British government to the latest wave of sex abuse allegations has been altogether predictable. On Tuesday, Home Secretary Theresa May announced a new police inquiry is to investigate fresh allegations into the way police handled child abuse accusations in care homes during the 1970s and 80s.
And -- get this! -- there will also be a judicial inquiry into the failings of previous judicial inquiries. Amazing, isn't it?
Further lurid details: Wales child abuse: PM orders sex abuse inquiry probe
Footnote: The legal beagle who drew the terms of reference for the useless Oliphant commission duly received his reward from a grateful Conservative government. He is now the Governor-General of Canada.
Forgotten the Oliphant commission already? See "The Oliphant labours, and brings forth...nothing" and "The Oliphant hath laboured...". [Some lack of originality in the second headline. But that was back in 2010. We're doing better now...aren't we? Ed.]
Showing posts with label Commission. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commission. Show all posts
Friday, November 9, 2012
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Oliphant commission docs online
Following up yesterday's post, here's where you can find key documents of the Oliphant commission's report on Canada's sleazy cheesy former Prime Minister.
Mr. Justice Oliphant's statement -- Summary of his findings
The commission's final report -- The whole nausea-inducing thing - good reading for insomniacs
The commission's website -- Everybody's got a website these days!
Transcript of the hearings -- This cost you millions of dollars. If you didn't see it in TV, the least you can do is read it! Don't miss the part where the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey says he never did anything wrong in his life. Many other "Honourables" also exposed as venal or merely stupid. Shoals of sharks [lawyers, surely. ed.] make well-paid appearances.
"Mulroney pressured to pay back $2-million defamation settlement" -- From today's Globe and Mail. Note that the Glob still hasn't enabled its comments section for this story.
Will the sleaziest, smarmiest, scummiest prime minister since Sir John Eh give back the money? Walt's assessment of the chances of that happening: slim and none.
Mr. Justice Oliphant's statement -- Summary of his findings
The commission's final report -- The whole nausea-inducing thing - good reading for insomniacs
The commission's website -- Everybody's got a website these days!
Transcript of the hearings -- This cost you millions of dollars. If you didn't see it in TV, the least you can do is read it! Don't miss the part where the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey says he never did anything wrong in his life. Many other "Honourables" also exposed as venal or merely stupid. Shoals of sharks [lawyers, surely. ed.] make well-paid appearances.
"Mulroney pressured to pay back $2-million defamation settlement" -- From today's Globe and Mail. Note that the Glob still hasn't enabled its comments section for this story.
Will the sleaziest, smarmiest, scummiest prime minister since Sir John Eh give back the money? Walt's assessment of the chances of that happening: slim and none.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Oliphant hath laboured...
...and hath brought forth a mouse!
In "The Oliphant in the room", one of my very first posts, I suggested (in what I hoped would be satire) that the report of the Oliphant commission into the dealings between former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and a German businessman and convict, Karlheinz Schreiber, would amount to nothing.
Yesterday, only five months after it was due, Mr. Justice Oliphant's report was finally released. And it amounted to nothing. Here's what we learned.
Mr. Schreiber counted Mr. Mullarkey among his friends, and had unprecedented access to him and his office, even while he was prime minister. Shortly after that Mr. Mulroney took a bunch of cash ($225,000 or $300,000, depending on which crook you believe) from the self-confessed bribemeister, stashed it in safety deposit boxes in the USA and Canada, and still can’t come up with a believable explanation for so doing.
Where did the money come from? Judge Oliphant found it was likely a commission paid by Airbus Industries to Mr. Schreiber for the sale of several Airbuses to Air Canada. But, he says, "there is no evidence" that Lyin' Brian knew that.
Judge Oliphant said that he found Mr. Mulroney's explanation for why he took the money "troubling at best, and, at worst, not worthy of any credence." He characterized the former PM's actions as "inappropriate" -- a conclusion which has been submitted to the Guinness Book of Records in the category "Understatement of the Decade".
But let us not judge the judge. His hands were tied. The commission's terms of reference, as dictated by Mr. Mullarkey's good friend and mentor, "Call Me Steve" Harpoon, precluded Judge Oliphant from asking questions about the Airbus affair.
Worse, he was bound not to assess civil or criminal liability. All he could do was give Mulroney a stern lecture saying how disappointed we all are that he (Mulroney) did not live up to the code of ethical conduct that he (Mulroney) himself (Mulroney) legislated while he (Mulroney) was PM.
Mr. Mullarkey, through a spokesperson, said that he was gratified that Judge Oliphant found there had been no wrongdoing while he (Mulroney) was prime minister. That there was plenty of wrongdoing starting about 48 hours after Mulroney resigned, but while he was still a Member of Parliament, was not explained or apologized for.
The Oliphant Commission cost Canadian taxpayers a sum not unadjacent to $16 million ... including legal fees paid to Mr. Mulroney's lawyers. It's a mystery how the ex-PM qualified for legal aid, since he received over $2 million from the former government as settlement of a libel action over allegations that he (Mulroney) did pretty much what Judge Oliphant has now found he did.
In his statement yesterday, poor Mr. M. did not volunteer to give back the $2 million. When asked in the House of Commons if the government would try to recover the money, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said the government would study the report.
In "The Oliphant in the room", one of my very first posts, I suggested (in what I hoped would be satire) that the report of the Oliphant commission into the dealings between former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and a German businessman and convict, Karlheinz Schreiber, would amount to nothing.
Yesterday, only five months after it was due, Mr. Justice Oliphant's report was finally released. And it amounted to nothing. Here's what we learned.
Mr. Schreiber counted Mr. Mullarkey among his friends, and had unprecedented access to him and his office, even while he was prime minister. Shortly after that Mr. Mulroney took a bunch of cash ($225,000 or $300,000, depending on which crook you believe) from the self-confessed bribemeister, stashed it in safety deposit boxes in the USA and Canada, and still can’t come up with a believable explanation for so doing.
Where did the money come from? Judge Oliphant found it was likely a commission paid by Airbus Industries to Mr. Schreiber for the sale of several Airbuses to Air Canada. But, he says, "there is no evidence" that Lyin' Brian knew that.
Judge Oliphant said that he found Mr. Mulroney's explanation for why he took the money "troubling at best, and, at worst, not worthy of any credence." He characterized the former PM's actions as "inappropriate" -- a conclusion which has been submitted to the Guinness Book of Records in the category "Understatement of the Decade".
Which is the lesser of the two weasels?
But let us not judge the judge. His hands were tied. The commission's terms of reference, as dictated by Mr. Mullarkey's good friend and mentor, "Call Me Steve" Harpoon, precluded Judge Oliphant from asking questions about the Airbus affair.
Worse, he was bound not to assess civil or criminal liability. All he could do was give Mulroney a stern lecture saying how disappointed we all are that he (Mulroney) did not live up to the code of ethical conduct that he (Mulroney) himself (Mulroney) legislated while he (Mulroney) was PM.
Mr. Mullarkey, through a spokesperson, said that he was gratified that Judge Oliphant found there had been no wrongdoing while he (Mulroney) was prime minister. That there was plenty of wrongdoing starting about 48 hours after Mulroney resigned, but while he was still a Member of Parliament, was not explained or apologized for.
The Oliphant Commission cost Canadian taxpayers a sum not unadjacent to $16 million ... including legal fees paid to Mr. Mulroney's lawyers. It's a mystery how the ex-PM qualified for legal aid, since he received over $2 million from the former government as settlement of a libel action over allegations that he (Mulroney) did pretty much what Judge Oliphant has now found he did.
In his statement yesterday, poor Mr. M. did not volunteer to give back the $2 million. When asked in the House of Commons if the government would try to recover the money, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said the government would study the report.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Oliphant in the Room
Agent 03 has been able to obtain a copy of the report of the Hon. J.J. Elephant relating to the business and financial dealings between Karlheinz Fiftyseven and the Right Honourable Brian Mullarkey, P.C. (Progressive Conservative):
Whereas Her Excellency the Governor General, on the recommendation of the Prime Minister who desperately desires to distance himself from any association with his Right Honourable P.C. predecessor, has directed the Commission to conduct an inquiry into certain allegations respecting business and financial dealings between Karlheinz Fiftyseven and the Right Honourable Brian Mullarkey, P.C., the Commission now begs to report:
1. It has assessed carefully all the relevant evidence and information relating to the above matters, excluding only that which would be embarrassing to Air Canada, the Conservative Party, the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Farce or any other parties which might be shown to be corrupt or incompetent or both.
2. It has questioned (in private, if necessary) all those involved, excluding of course the Honourable Frank Magazine and Roger Doucet (no relation), who had unfortunately passed away in the twenty-odd years between the events and the time of this enquiry.
3. It believes without reservation the sworn testimony of the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey (whose regard for the truth has been well known for lo these many years), especially the part where he swears that he never in his life did anything wrong.
4. It concludes that, while certain mistakes and errors in judgment may have been made, no one was really to blame for anything, in any real way.
5. Further, the commission concludes that there is no compelling reason (other than the moral imperative) why Mr. Mullarkey ought to return to the taxpayers of Canada any of the millions of dollars he received in settlement of a previous court action, or to return to Mr. Fiftyseven any of the hundreds of thousands of dollars he received for services in promoting the sale of arms to hostile foreign governments;
6. Nor should Mr. Mullarkey's counsel, nor any of m'learned friends whose bank accounts have been fattened at public expense return any of the exorbitant fees they have received for sitting quietly and laughing politely at Mr. Mullarkey's little jokes.
7. The Commission recommends that the beatification of the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey proceed as quickly as possible, and expresses the hope that the Government of Canada will shortly allocate stimulus funds for the construction in his honour of a church at Meech Lake.
8. Er...that's all. (Steve, is this enough?)
Signed,
"J.J. Elephant"
Note: The Commission would like to express its thanks to Air Canada for courteously transporting him (first class) to Ottawa and back on board its lovely Airbus, at no cost except possibly to the public.
Whereas Her Excellency the Governor General, on the recommendation of the Prime Minister who desperately desires to distance himself from any association with his Right Honourable P.C. predecessor, has directed the Commission to conduct an inquiry into certain allegations respecting business and financial dealings between Karlheinz Fiftyseven and the Right Honourable Brian Mullarkey, P.C., the Commission now begs to report:
1. It has assessed carefully all the relevant evidence and information relating to the above matters, excluding only that which would be embarrassing to Air Canada, the Conservative Party, the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Farce or any other parties which might be shown to be corrupt or incompetent or both.
2. It has questioned (in private, if necessary) all those involved, excluding of course the Honourable Frank Magazine and Roger Doucet (no relation), who had unfortunately passed away in the twenty-odd years between the events and the time of this enquiry.
3. It believes without reservation the sworn testimony of the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey (whose regard for the truth has been well known for lo these many years), especially the part where he swears that he never in his life did anything wrong.
4. It concludes that, while certain mistakes and errors in judgment may have been made, no one was really to blame for anything, in any real way.
5. Further, the commission concludes that there is no compelling reason (other than the moral imperative) why Mr. Mullarkey ought to return to the taxpayers of Canada any of the millions of dollars he received in settlement of a previous court action, or to return to Mr. Fiftyseven any of the hundreds of thousands of dollars he received for services in promoting the sale of arms to hostile foreign governments;
6. Nor should Mr. Mullarkey's counsel, nor any of m'learned friends whose bank accounts have been fattened at public expense return any of the exorbitant fees they have received for sitting quietly and laughing politely at Mr. Mullarkey's little jokes.
7. The Commission recommends that the beatification of the Right Honourable Mr. Mullarkey proceed as quickly as possible, and expresses the hope that the Government of Canada will shortly allocate stimulus funds for the construction in his honour of a church at Meech Lake.
8. Er...that's all. (Steve, is this enough?)
Signed,
"J.J. Elephant"
Note: The Commission would like to express its thanks to Air Canada for courteously transporting him (first class) to Ottawa and back on board its lovely Airbus, at no cost except possibly to the public.
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