UPDATED - "This is Africa!" - Air Zimbabwe down to one plane

Half a century ago, when new "nations" were being created out of European colonies in Asia and Africa -- "Ready or not, here they come!" -- one of the hallmarks of newfound independence was considered to be a national airline. Even the tiniest shithole had to have a national carrier, usually included in the post-independence deal with the mother country.

So it was with Zimbabwe, when the former Rhodesia was handed over by the perfidious British to the black terrorists led by Robert Mugabe in 1980. The slight difference was that Rhodesia already had a small but functional airline, Air Rhodesia, which had a fleet of about a dozen aircraft including a couple of Viscounts -- lovely old prop jobs -- and even a B707. Like most things run by the "white settler regime", it worked. And it was given, in working order, to Comrade Bob's Marxist government, who painted the planes with red, yellow, green and black stripes and dubbed the "new" airline Air Zimbabwe.

Thanks to the ignorance, incompetence and corruption which bedevil most state-owned enterprises in most African countries, the planes inherited from Air Rhodesia were allowed to fall apart long ago. They were replaced by a succession of other types: B737s, a BAe-146, three Chinese MA-40s, a couple of little Fokkers, and two B767s which, in Walt's daze in Zimbabwe, were the pride of the fleet. One was at the beck and call of Uncle Bob, so effectively out of service, but the rest of us were allowed to fly in the other one, occasionally. Here's a pic I took in 1993 at what used to be called Jan Smuts International Airport, in Johannesburg.

Today, that B767-200ER is the only plane Air Zimbabwe has left, and may be grounded tomorrow or the next day. NewsDay reports that one of its two engines caught fire during a flight from O.R. Tambo International Airport (the new name for "Janny Smuts") to Ha-ha-harare (the fun capital of Zimbabwe) on Sunday evening after developing a fault. According to a state released yesterday, "Air Zimbabwe wishes to inform the public that their Boeing 767-200ER servicing flight UM462 experienced a malfunction in one of its engines, which caused a 'brief' tailpipe fire."

The carrier said the malfunction did not threaten the continuation of the flight or the safety of the crew and passengers on board, and that the aircraft landed safely in Harare at 2035. Air Zimbabwe confirmed that their engineers have started investigations into the incident, but continued, "We regret to inform our valued passengers that this incident may result in a disruption of our normal schedule."

This came barely a day after the same plane was involved in a bird strike incident after take-off at the Joshua Mqabuko Nkomo International Airport in Bulawayo. The plane, however, landed safely at Robert Gabriel Mugabe International Airport in the capital. In March, the struggling national airline said it was using the aircraft, the only one in service, for all its routes. Such is the reality of Zimbabwe today. Mother Africa Wins Again.

UPDATED ADDED 1/5/19 [MAYDAY! MAYDAY! LOL Ed.] - NewsDay reports today that "Beleaguered Air Zimbabwe has bought a new plane, an Embraer ERJ-145, bringing the number of planes owned by the company to two. Air Zimbabwe was put under construction [??? Ed.] in 2018 after it was diagnosed to be a failing parastatal. The new plane is branded Zimbabwe Airways which is the name of a failed airline that was fronted by former President Robert Mugabe's son-in-law, Simba Chikore." Right there, in the last two sentences, is everything you need to know about Zimbabwe and about how things work (or not) in Africa.

VIDEO LINK ADDED 19/6/19: "Air Zimbabwe - The World's Most Dangerous Airline?", the experience of a veteran traveller. Pretty much the way Walt remembers it, having flown in these same planes over 20 years ago.

Zimbabwean dictator appointed to, then removed from WHO post

The Western world is having a good laugh today (but also breathing a sigh of relief) at the appointment and speedy unappointment [disappointment? Ed.] of Comrade Robert Gabriel Mugabe, dictator of Zimbabwe, as a "goodwill ambassador" for the World Health Organization (WHO). "Uncle Bob", however, is reportedly not amused.

The farce began on Wednesday in Uruguay, at a high-level WHO meeting to discuss non-communicable diseases. Comrade Bob had commandeered Air Zimbabwe's sole airworthy B-767 to attend, causing his countrymen to scratch their heads in wonderment, even though they have gotten used to their Dear Leader's peripatetic lifestyle, which has bankrupted the national airline and put a huge strain on the Zim treasury, which is now printing "bond notes" to cover its lack of real money.

Turns out the reason for the trip to a place few Africans have even heard of was that an "arrangement" had been made with WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, an Ethiopian recently appointed to the position, to appoint Mr Mugabe as a goodwill ambassador, out of respect for his government's devotion to providing free healthcare for all. Mr Ghebreyesus said he thought Mr Mugabe would be the ideal person to "to influence his peers in his region."

Many observers outside the Dark Continent (including yr obdt servant, who lived in Zimbabwe in the 1990s) thought the appointment must be a huge joke, given that Mr Mugabe is "peerless", in the sense that he has no equal for corruption, despotism and (alas!) longevity. He has ruled Zimbabwe since 1980, when the cowardly Brits sold out the "white settler régime" of Ian Smith and gave the former Rhodesia "majority rule" under the one-man-one-vote system.

The one man who has the one vote is Comrade Bob, who is 93 years old, but intends to stand for re-election next year, even if his lovely and fragrant wife Grace has to push him to the polls in his wheelchair. "Hendiende" is chiShona (the main local language) for "I won't go!"

The USA, Canada and a host of other countries, including Not-so-great Britain, were quick to criticize the WHO appointment. Canuck Prime Minister Justin "Junior" Trudeau called it a belated April Fool's joke. Donors and human rights groups expressed outrage. Comrade Bob, they noted, has for years been going overseas for medical treatment as Zimbabwe's once-prosperous economy (in the bad old colonial days) falls apart. He is not alone. Just last month, Vice-President Emerson Mnangagwa thought he'd been poisoned by eating bad ice cream from the Mugabe family's Gushongo Dairy, and hied himself off to South Africa to have his stomach pumped.

No Zimbabwean with any money trusts the country's decrepit healthcare system. As long ago as 2008, the charity Physicians for Human Rights released a report documenting failures in the system, saying that Mr Mugabe's policies had led to a man-made crisis. "The government of Robert Mugabe presided over the dramatic reversal of its population's access to food, clean water, basic sanitation and health care," the group found, adding that its policies led directly to "the shuttering of hospitals and clinics, the closing of its medical school and the beatings of health workers."

Today the WHO Director-General said in a statement, posted on his Twitter account @DrTedros, that he had listened to those expressing concerns. "Over the last few days, I have reflected on my appointment of H.E. President Robert Mugabe as WHO Goodwill Ambassador for NCDs in Africa. As a result I have decided to rescind the appointment."

Walt's comment: The appointment of the Zimbabwean dictator reflects everything that's wrong not just with Zimbabwe, not just with Africa, but with the World Health Organization and its mother "organization", the United Nations. The UN is nothing more than a powerless, self-serving talking shop, dominated by the beggars of the Third World, whose "diplomats" line their pockets and enjoy the luxurious, jet-setting lifestyle while their countrymen starve in squalor. The AABC countries (America, Australia, Britain and Canada) would do well to withdraw their financial support and leave the whole stinking mess to rot.

African airliner crashes; pig blamed!

What you see here is a bushpig, a smaller and better-looking cousin of a wart-hog. They are to be found in many parts of Africa, even in the airports of capital cities like Ha-ha-harare, capital of the "nation" of Zimbabwe.

The pilot of an Air Zimbabwe MA60 (a Chinese-built prop job) discovered this to his chagrin last week when he hit one on takeoff. Damage to the nose, a wingtip and a propeller forced a bumpier and quicker-than-usual landing.

The statement released by the Zimbabwe Transport Ministry led us to believe that the incident was minor. No-one was killed and only a couple of people were hurt during the evacuation of the plane.

However, what the mishap reveals is the extent to which the country's Civil Aviation Authority (CAAZ) and the national airline have gone the way of its other frayed and failed institutions.
A letter which appeared briefly in the Zimbabwe Standard (now apparently removed) recounted details more serious than the ministry admitted.

The writer, quoted in The Times, said it was "by God’s grace" that he and the other 37 passengers and crew had not all perished. It was plain, he said, that the airline had "no disaster response strategy" and its personnel "did not have a clue" of what to do in a crisis. “The plane was just about to lift off when we heard a loud bang from underneath followed by violent shaking of the entire aircraft.

"The aircraft veered off the runway into the grass before it came to a halt. Smoke and dust engulfed the cabin as passengers screamed for dear life.” With a petrified hostess shrieking "Evacuate!", they discovered that one of the emergency exits was jammed. Passengers were able to jump out of the stricken plane only after the main doors were pried open by hand.

The Times reports that airport emergency rescue service took five minutes to reach the plane. Agent 3, who spent several years in Zimbabwe, suggests that possibly they had no fuel and had to syphon some from cars in the passenger parking lot. They were beaten by a contingent of secret police, whose first act was to arrest two passengers for taking photographs.

There was no medical care for the injured, the Times report continues, and it took an hour for an Air Zimbabwe manager to have water distributed. He tried to reassure them by saying that the airline’s chief executive was on his way to the airport. "The passengers retorted that they did not eat CEOs," said the Standard's informant.

Agent 3 comments that AirZim hostesses are known to be selected by means of "carpet interviews". The only emergency training they receive is how to get out from under a bulky cabinet minister or AirZim executive, should one collapse on top of them while they perform their duties.

Thanks to Agent 17 for passing on the story.