ZANU-PF wins 187th straight Zimbabwe election

Q. When to the Chinese have their elections? A. Just before bleakfast!

Q. When do Zimbabweans have their elections? A. Elections? Wozzat?

Walt's agent in Ha-ha-harare, the fun capital of Africa, sends word that the results of today's presidential election have been announced, to save voters the bother of standing in line to cast their ballots, as well as the embarrassment of being seen by army poll watchers voting for the wrong party.

And the winner is... (drum roll, please)... Comrade Emerson (aka "ED") [no relation. Ed.] Mnangagwa, seen here having a friendly chat with an unnamed mentor.

Mr Mnangagwa's ZANU-PF party (aka the Perpetual Governing Party) received 98% of the vote. The opposition Vasina Tariro received 1%. The bodies of the remaining 1% of the voters have not yet been found.

In Harare for today's festivities was "Doctor" Jill Biden, the wife of... errr... I forget. She is seen here being welcomed by Auxillia Mnangawa, ED's wife, who is understood to have passed along some advice for the Democrats on how to certain of re-election, no matter what (aka Hunter). 

Mrs Mnangagwa should know. Her husband's party has been in power continuously since Zimbabwe won its independence from the evil Rhodesians in 1980. 

True fact: Some years ago, Walt auditioned for a job reading the news on ZBC (the Zimbabwe state broadcaster), but stumbled over ED's name and wasn't hired. Being a white murungu (foreigner) didn't help either!