Government minister cuts ribbon to open new public toilet

We've all heard stories of politicians so hungry for voters' approval (and votes) that they would open a two-hole shithouse, if asked. In our western democracies, these stories are exaggerations, of course. Not so in Zimbabwe -- the land of bambazonke -- from whence Walt still receives reports from an agent who wishes to be not just unnamed but unnumbered.

Today he passes along a report that Apolonia Munzverengwi, the Minister of State for Mashonaland East Province, recently commissioned new maintenance equipment at Chikomba Rural District Council offices, and, in the highlight of the ceremonies, cut the ribbon to open a new pay toilet.

Mrs Munzverengwi, who was the guest of honour at the event, urged local authorities to consider the needs of the residents before utilising government devolution funds. She told the assembled throng, "President Mnangagwa initiated the devolution programme to enhance a bottom-up communication process [sic] which ensures that the real problems faced by the people are addressed at local level."

The Chikomba RDC used revenue from ratepayers to construct the pay toilet and purchased a grader and a refuse truck using a government devolution grant. Praising them, the Minister said, "It is important that before utilising the devolution grants from the government, authorities should inquire from the residents how they want the fund to be used. I am happy that Chikomba RDC managed to purchase a refuse truck and a grader, equipment key for efficient service delivery.

"I also applaud the council for being business-minded and construct a pay toilet which will serve the community at the same time generating more revenue for the local authority."

After commissioning the toilet and equipment, Mrs Munzverengwi also toured the various projects being carried out by the council which include construction of schools and clinics. She also had an "interface" [meeting? Ed.] with councillors, heads of government departments and business people. Where the interface took place was not reported.

When it comes to such commissioning ceremonies (read: photo-ops), Zimbabwean politicians, of the ZANU-PF party which has ruled the African shithole since independence from the evil white settlers in 1980, have form. In 2018, since-disgraced Finance and Economic Development Minister Patrick Chinamasa made headlines when he was caught on camera commissioning a garbage bin (read: dumpster) in Rusape. Sadly, no pictures of the event have survived.