Another gain for AfD forces Merkel to plan retirement

Cazart! Another defeat for "democratic socialism"[or "social democracy"? Ed.] in Germany! Results just in from Sunday's vote in the state of Hesse prove that the German people want change. They are sick of the self-centeredness and self-flagellation of Angela Merkel's liberal coalition, and sent them a strong message.

Frau Merkel's Christian Democratic Union and the Social Democrats lost significant ground, while there were gains for both the Greens and the right-wing Alternativ für Deutschland (Alternative for Germany). Merkel's party barely managed to retain power, narrowly salvaging a majority by means of a coalition with the Greens.

The governing coalition of Social Democrats (SPD), Christian Democrats (CDU) and Christian Social Union (CSU) is the classic example of all the "mainstream" parties banding together to prevent the rightist party from taking power. Within this decade, the same thing happened in France, Austria and the Netherlands. So for the last six months or so, Germans have been lumbered with a government that is so busy navel-gazing -- figuring out how to survive -- that it hasn't led, but rather paralyzed the Fatherland.

After 13 years in office, the German volk have learned to dislike and distrust Angela Merkel. Her abject failure to lead, particularly on the issue of mass migration, has led to the rise of the AfD and other right-wing parties, not just in Germany but in Europe as a hole. [Ed., I have checked the spelling. Quod scripsi scripsi.] Instead of tackling urgent issues like what to do with the criminal Muslim "refugees", the Merkel coalition is preoccupied with in-house squabbling over "the process of renewal". The German people have had enough!

Frau Merkel, 64, recently indicated she planned to seek another two-year term as leader of her Christian Democratic Union at a party congress to be held in December, but in light of the result in Hesse (and another debacle in Bavaria two weeks ago) appears to have changed her mind. At a news conference in Berlin today, she said it was her intention to remain as Chancellor, but this would be her final parliamentary term. "I will not run as candidate for chancellor in the 2021 election," she told the meeja, "and will not seek re-election to the German parliament. And, just for the record, I will not aim for any other political office," likely referring to European Commission elections to be held next year.

Throughout the Fatherland, cries are heard, not of "Angela, we hardly knew ye," but of "We knew ye all too well. Auf Wiedersehen, gute Riddance!"