Canucks ask US Homeland Security to help turn back border jumpers

Canada's state broadcaster, the CBC, released a funny story yesterday, in the middle of a sleepy afternoon when no-one was paying attention. Regular readers of WWW may recall that the Canuck government has been affecting all summer long to be unconcerned about the 1000s of "refugees", asylum-seekers and other would-be immigrants who are crossing the world's longest undefended border to get into Canada's much-too-generous welfare programmes.

Most of the dark-complected illegal migrants being welcomed by the Mounties at an "unofficial" border crossing near Saint-Bernard-de-Lacolle QC are Haïtians and Africans. How did they get to that hole in the fence? Why, they came through the USA! Many of them, in fact, had lived in the Land of the Free for years before heading for the Land of the Free Lunch, in response to Justin "Junior" Trudeau's open invitation broadcast to a waiting world in response to President Trump's hint that the parasites had worn out their welcome in the USA.

As the number of illegals crossing from the USA into Canada keeps growing and growing, M Trudeau's Liberal government, facing a rising anti-immigrant backlash, keeps trotting out cabinet ministers and MPs to assure the angry Canadian public that Action is Being Taken and Everything is Under Control. But it's not Junior Himself who has to face the wrath of the people, nor is it Ahmed Hussen, the Somali-born Minister of Immigration and Refugees (sic). Noooo. It's usually poor old Ralph Goodale, the mild-mannered veteran who has the misfortune to be Minister of Public Secure and Civil Protection, which I guess means that the illegals are indeed a threat to the Canadian public, although of course Mr Goodale can't say that because of M-103. (Canucks will know what I mean.)

Poor old Ralph was again pushed into the spotlight -- like a deer transfixed in the headlights of an oncoming car -- on Sunday when he was interviewed by CBC News. He revealed that he had been having discussions with his American counterpart, Elaine Duke, the Acting Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, with a view to... errr... getting her to do something, anything, on the US side of the border to help stem the tide of illegal migrants.

Mr Goodale said he asked Ms Duke to consider alerting Canadian authorities when the US is about to make policy decisions that would affect the border, in order to give agencies such as border services time to prepare. He also warned her to keep a "wary eye" on the travel visas it issues to the United States. He explained that Canadian officials have identified trends where documents issued from "certain US embassies and consulates" are being misused. "We have asked them to go back upstream and examine the pattern of these travel documents being issued," he said, "and how come the people to whom they were issued appear to have had no intention of staying in the United States, but were simply using the documents as vehicles to get into the United States and then make a beeline for the Canadian border."

Not wanting to appear racist or Islamophobic, Mr Goodale declined to identify diplomatic missions that have been problematic, but CBC News is reporting today that one place where a lot of people seem to be getting visas to visit the USA with the intention of heading to Canada is... wait for it... Nigeria.

Mr Goodale and Ms Duke have apparently discussed other "joint steps to take to address illegal migration across their shared border." For instance, the Canucks have suggested, the Americans could put up some signs on their side of the border "with messages to dissuade those seeking asylum in Canada." Yeah, that'll do it, for sure! Can't you just imagine a US Border Patrol officer yelling at a busload of Africans, "Don't make me point at the sign again!"? Said Mr Goodale, "They're examining what they can do to communicate."

So, dear Canadian readers, you mustn't worry. Action is Being Taken. Everything is Under Control. Diversity is Canada's Strength! Vote Liberal!