A (something) walks into a bar...

Ed. here. It's been another grim week and we need a bit of diversion. Thanks to an Agent whose checkered career included a stint teaching ESL at universities in southern China, we have some jokes circulating on an Internet forum for ESL teachers. And not just any jokes! These are the classic "A man walks into a bar" jokes. Enjoy.

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

A neutron walks into a bar, says "how much for a beer?"
The barkeep says, "For you, no charge."

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

A screwdriver walks into a bar.
Bartender: "Hey, we've got a drink named after you."
Screwdriver: "Wow, you've got a drink called Dave!"

A Catholic Priest, a nun and a Hasidic Jew walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A Shetland pony walks into a bar and says, in a low, raspy voice, "I'd like a Martini, dry, stirred, with a twist."
Bartender says: Can you repeat that?
The pony repeats himself in the same low, raspy voice. So the barkeep says "Buddy, you must speak louder, I can't hear you."
The pony says, "Please, you must excuse me, I'm a little horse."

A terrorist walks into a bar.
Bartender: “What would you like?”
Terrorist: “Shots for everyone...”

Maybe too soon for that last one. If anyone has more of these -- [something] walks into a bar ONLY -- please share them in the comments section. Just click on the headline and this post will open as a separate page. The comments box is at the bottom. And yes, comments are moderated! Ed.