Laws of Life

Walt has often referred to Agent 3 as our "legal expert". That's to distinguish him from an "illegal expert". Seriously though [Really? Ed.], Agent 3 does have an abiding interest in the law, and the difference between that and justice. There are some laws (he writes) that are not written in the statute books, laws which can only be learned by living. To help you review the laws you should've learned by now, Agent 3 presents this little list.

Law of Spousal Equality: The time taken by a wife when she says I will get ready in five minutes is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says I will call you in five minutes!

Law of Queues: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you have moved to.

First Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.

Second Law of the Telephone: The telephone is most likely to ring when your body is immersed in water.

Corollary 1 to Second Law of the Telephone: If you get out of the bath or shower or pool to answer, it will be a wrong number.

Corollary 2 to Second Law of the Telephone: If you fail to answer, the call will have been extremely important and time sensitive, e.g. that the phone company will cut off your service in half an hour if your bill isn't paid.

First Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Second Law of the Workshop: After your hands become coated with dirt or grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of Mechanical Contrariness: When you take a machine of any kind to a mechanic or repair shop because it doesn't work properly, it will, upon being tested, work properly.

Law of Unintended Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Theatre: Patrons with seats in the centre of a row will be the last to arrive.

Law of Liquid Thermodynamics: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Offer Acceptance: After you accept an offer or proposal, you will get a better one.

Law of Inevitable Price Reduction: Within 72 hours of buying any good or service, you will see it advertised at a better price.

Law of Early Arrival: When you arrive early for an event, it will fail to start on time.

Law of Test Preparation: If you didn’t read the chapter of the text that you think is of least importance, the first question on the examination will be from that chapter.

You're welcome.