Walt will return

Thanks to those who have asked "Where's Walto?" To be Frank ["Walt", shurely! Ed.] [That's an old joke, and don't call me Shirley. Walt] Walt has been suffering from the mid-January blahs. The Canadian Gliberals' leadership race is boring already, and doesn't matter anyway. And with President Trump to be crowned tomorrow and the Dimocrats forming a circular firing squad, there's nothing left to mock... at least not for the moment. We'll try to do better next week.

Two more Canuck Liberals run away from party leadership

The field of masochists vying to win the booby prize of leader of the Liberal Party of Canada got smaller today as two more prominent Grits balked at getting into the starting gate. Philippe Champagne, the Minister of Industry in Junior's cabinet, Christy Clark, the former premier of British Columbia both bowed out.

Their departures cast a spotlight on candidates' French language skills, and their ability to organize support in Québec, a province that's critical to the Gliberals' electoral fortunes. 

M Champagne -- a likeable and not hopelessly incompetent gars de chez nous -- said during an armchair talk in Toronto that he plans to focus on ensuring the government [Is dis a government? Ed.] is ready to protect Canadian industry from the trade threats posed by President-Elect Trump. "It was probably the most difficult decision of my life," said Ti-Phil, "but I think it was the right one at the right time. There are many ways to fight for Canada."

Ms Clark said in a statement to her supporters that Blackie McBlackface had called too short a leadership race to allow her to mount a successful campaign and that she did not develop her French skills well enough to be a strong candidate. 

"I have made the difficult decision to step back," she said. "While we have come a long way, in a short time, there is simply not enough time to mount a successful campaign and for me to effectively connect with francophone Canadians in their language. I have worked hard at improving my French but it’s not where it needs to be today."

Yesterday's revelation that that Ms Clark had actually held a Conservative Party membership card for a couple of years didn't help either.

That leaves two -- count `em, 2 -- possible candidates with any name recognition, neither of whom is fluent in la langue de Molière... ou de Chétien. The first is the lovely and talented Chrystia Freeland, the Finance Minister and Deputy Prime Minister until, just before Christmas, she quit before Blackie could fire her.  "These people are impossible!", she said. "I'm going home to my children!"*

The other is Mark Carney, an Oxbridge type who still carries around the silver spoon which was in his mouth at birth. 

Mr Carney has been -- and "has been" is an appropriate phrase -- Governor of the Bank of Canada and Governor of the Bank of England. A wag [Dogbert? Ed.] has suggested that he probably thinks the vacant position is that of head of the Federal Reserve. Why else would he choose to announce his possible candidacy on The Daily Show?

Neither Ms Freelove nor Squire Carney have said definitely that they're ready, aye, ready to grasp the nettle that is the prime ministership of the Great No-longer-white North. So far, they're just teasing, something in which the lovely Chrystia has form. Both say they will have more to say "later".

* Note from Ed.: I didn't have time to check the date of that quote. Seems to me I read it here some time ago. But never mind. The deadline looms. 

Memo to Jack Smith...

Today, in the last act of a delusional and vindictive man, Jack Smith, the former federal persecutor, published his "findings" ["imaginings", shurely. Ed.] on the so-called "insurrection" of 6 January 2021. 

To the surprise of exactly no-one, he "finds" that if he had been allowed to bring his case against President Trump to trial, he (Smith) would have one. But, counselor...

Nobody. No. Body.

If I were Mr Smith, I'd be looking not just for employment, but for a good defense attorney. It's a long road that has no ashcans.

[What, exactly, does that last sentence mean? Ed.] [Just leave it in. Walt]

Your Singhs today (news from Brampton ON)

Walt is filled with foreboding. 2025 could be a year of momentous change, and I fear everyone may be affected. Yes, even us small fry who live in out-of-the-way places, try to keep our noses clean, and stay out of the crossfire.

I'm thinking in particular of one of our agents who, I fear, will finally have had enough with living in the Greater Toronto Area of Canuckistan. The following story, reprinted in full and unedited from the Peel Regional Police blotter, is for him.

Jan. 13, 2025. Investigators from the 21 Division Criminal Investigation Bureau have arrested numerous suspects in two shooting investigations that occurred at the same residence. 

On Saturday, Nov. 30, 2024, just before 2:00 a.m., a residence in the area of Mountainberry Road and Mountainash Road, Brampton, was shot at by two suspects. There were no physical injuries to any of the occupants of the residence. 

On Sunday, Dec. 1, 2024, investigators executed a search warrant at a Brampton residence, resulting in recovering a loaded firearm and ammunition, along with the arrest and charging of three Brampton men. Manpreet Singh, (27-year-old) and Dilpreet Singh, (23-year-old) have been charged with the following: Discharge Firearm with Intent, Fail to Comply with Release Order. Harshdeep Singh, (23-year-old) has been charged with the following: Discharge Firearm with Intent, Careless Storage of Firearm, Fail to Comply with Release Order. All three males were held pending a bail hearing. 

On Thursday, Jan. 2, 2025, at approximately 9:00 a.m., the same residence in the area of Mountainberry Road and Mountainash Road, Brampton, was again shot at by several other suspects. There were no physical injuries to any of the occupants of the residence. 

On Saturday, Jan. 4, 2025, investigators executed a search warrant at a Brampton residence, resulting in recovering another loaded firearm and ammunition, along with the arrest and charging of four men. Dharmpreet Singh (25-year-old), Manpartap Singh (27-year-old), Atamjit Singh (30-year-old) and Arvinderpal Singh (21-year-old) have all been charged with the following: Unauthorized Possession of Firearm, Knowledge of Unauthorized Possession of Firearm, Possession of a Prohibited Device Knowing its Possession is Unauthorized (X2), Possession of a Loaded Firearm, Occupant of Motor Vehicle Knowing there was Unauthorized Possession of a Weapon, Careless Storage of Firearm, Discharge Firearm in Reckless Manner. 

All four men were held for bail hearings. Investigators are asking anyone with information on these incidents to contact the 21 Division Criminal Investigation Bureau at 905-453-2121 extension 2133.

How many calls do you suppose the Peelers [Only old Brits will get that. Ed.] will get? 

Imagine the scene at the Metro West Detention Centre (read: gaol) when the turnkey comes to call a remand prisoner to go to court. "Singh!" Seven guys stand up. One of them says, "Lalalalala..." Another one says, "Oh my goodness golly. Which one?" 

Note: The Singh pictured above is not one of the Singhs mentioned in the police report.

Meanwhile, Emperor Trudeau II, who has not resigned yet, keeps repeating his mantra that "diversity is our strength." Diversity means different races and ethnicities all mixed together, doesn't it? Where's the diversity in Brampton, Ontario, Canucistan?

Another MUSIC VIDEO: Trudeau resigns, the Trump Effect

Only a few minutes after we posted "Bye-bye, Miss Canadian Pie", we started getting suggestions for other "Glad Trudeau Is Gone" videos. Agent 3 sent along the link to this one, by Quidan Productions, who introduce it thus: "Whether you're a political junkie, a comedy fan, or just here for the music, this satirical song is bound to entertain! It's a lighthearted roast of policies, politics, and personalities with a sprinkle of MAGA magic."

 

Excellent Sinatra-style music, fine animation, and nice credit to President-Elect Trump for his part in hastening the departure of Canada's. Worst. Prime Minister. Ever!

MUSIC VIDEO: Bye-bye, Miss Canadian Pie

The intended resignation of Justin "Little Potato" Trudeau as leader of the Liberal Party and Prime Minister of All Canuckistan has pretty much broken the Internet, or at least the Canadian part of it. Reaction has been 99.99% positive... like this...

There has been a lot of wittier, more original stuff too. Walt particularly likes this Hoser Gang parody of Don McLean's "American Pie". 

Sure and it's an early favourite for the Wally Award for Best Music Video of 2025.

Footnote: Further to our post about the Liberal ladies who want nothing more to do with Blackie McBlackface, we note today's announcement by the Honourable Steve MacKinnon, who has been in charge of the Ministry of Employment, Workforce Development and Labour (previously known as the Ministry of Labour and Seniors) [Eh??? Ed.] for less than a year, that he won't enter the race to replace Junior. He will continue in his positions -- he is also Minister for Seniors -- until the Trudeaumaniacs are booted out of office, likely this spring.

Memo from Ed. to Walt, not for publication: What have I told you about long, compound-complex sentences?! If you can't do better than the first sentence of the Footnote, I'll be forced to plug in Hal and let him/her/it deal with you!

What makes us human?