In a restaurant in Zambia: “Open seven days a week and weekends.”
On the grounds of a private school in South Africa: “No trespassing without permission.”
On the window of a Nigerian shop: “Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come here?”
Walt regrets he cannot vouch for the authenticity of the following compilation, forwarded by a friend from the Dark Continent.
On a poster in Ghana: “Are you an adult who cannot read? If so, we can help.”
In a hotel in Mozambique: “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9.00 am and 11.00 am daily.”
On a river in the Democratic Republic of Congo: “Take note: When this sign is submerged, the river is impassable.”
In a Zimbabwean restaurant: “Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.”
A sign on a hand dryer in a Lesotho public toilet: “Risk of electric shock – do not activate with wet hands.”
In a Botswana jewellery shop: “Ears pierced while you wait.”
On one of the buildings of a Sierra Leone hospital: “Mental Health Prevention Centre.”
In a maternity ward of a clinic in Tanzania: “No children allowed.”
In a cemetery in Uganda: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
In a baker's shop in Luanda, Angola, “Bitter cakes for sale. Antidote to poison also sold here.”
In a laundry in Khartoum, Sudan: "Don't kill your wife, let us do the dirty work for you."
In a shop window in Accra, Ghana: "We do part exchange and will accept whatever you bring: hair-dryers, DVDs, shoes, etc. Bring your wife and get the deal of a lifetime!!"
Saturday, December 13, 2014
UPDATED 14/12 - Pope Francis - losing it or already lost it?
A few weeks ago, Francis Cardinal George, on his retirement as Archbishop of Chicago, said he was struggling to understand Pope Francis and the latter's puzzling and often contradictory pronouncements. In a November interview with Crux ("Covering all things Catholic"), the prelate posed a series of questions he’d like to ask Pope Francis, including whether the pontiff fully understands the way some of his statements "leave people wondering if he still holds the doctrine."
Francis did two things this week that could only have increased the wonderment -- perhaps we can even say "doubt" -- of Cardinal George but 1000s of other churchmen and faithful Catholics.
The Dalai Lama visited Rome this week, and, like most tourists, had a yen to visit the Vatican and meet the Pope. But Francis -- the great apostle of ecumenism -- refused! How strange! In the name of ecumenism, this pope has met with leaders of our separated (Orthodox) brethren, going so far as to bow low to Patriarch Bartholomew I and ask for his blessing.
Strange behaviour for someone who is supposed to be the successor of St. Peter, and head of the Church established by Our Lord Himself.
Pope Francis has also met with Jewish leaders and (of course) Muslim leaders, in the name of the false ecumenism which he preaches nowadays. (What he's promoting is actually a form of syncretism, the heretical notion that all religions are equal, all leading towards the same God. This is contrary to Catholic dogma.) But for the spiritual leader of millions of Buddhists? Errr, sorry, no. That might upset the Chinese Communists, with whom the Church is trying to coexist peacefully, in spite of the fact that they keep killing our clergy and faithful.
Further reading on WWW:
"China -- not a good place to be a democrat or a Catholic"
"Archbishop of Chicago talks about the high price of US citizenship"
But wait, there's more! Mysteriously unreported on Jeff Mirus's Catholic World News website -- I call it "The Daily Pope" -- was Francis's pronouncement this week that... wait for it... all dogs go to heaven!
"One day," the Pope said, "we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all of God's creatures." Amazing! It may be a popular sentiment -- great news for all animal lovers -- but it's completely contrary to Catholic dogma, which teaches us that only human beings can go to heaven, because only humans have souls!
We really must wonder, with Cardinal George, if, in his quest for praise and popularity from the world at large, the Humblest Pope Ever has abandoned completely the Catholic Faith which it is his solemn obligation to protect. God knows.
Comment from Ed.: Perhaps Francis intends his pronouncement to be the new "dog"ma. Geddit?!
UPDATE AND CORRECTION! - Apparently there was much soiling of shorts at the Vatican over reports that Pope Francis said all creatures can go to heaven. Deputy Spokesthingy Fr. Ciro Benedettini said he received a number of calls on the story on Friday, and was taken by surprise because he didn't recall the Pope saying anything like that in remarks at his weekly general audience on Nov. 26.
The New York Times, which ran a story on Thursday about the purported comment, acknowledged its mistake in a correction on Friday that it had misattributed a remark made by Pope Paul VI. So that's OK then because we know that Paul VI is only a step from sainthood, so he must be in heaven and he hasn't sent down a correction.
Another comment from Ed.: Sadly, the misquote may dog Francis' papacy for years.
Francis did two things this week that could only have increased the wonderment -- perhaps we can even say "doubt" -- of Cardinal George but 1000s of other churchmen and faithful Catholics.
The Dalai Lama visited Rome this week, and, like most tourists, had a yen to visit the Vatican and meet the Pope. But Francis -- the great apostle of ecumenism -- refused! How strange! In the name of ecumenism, this pope has met with leaders of our separated (Orthodox) brethren, going so far as to bow low to Patriarch Bartholomew I and ask for his blessing.
Strange behaviour for someone who is supposed to be the successor of St. Peter, and head of the Church established by Our Lord Himself.
Pope Francis has also met with Jewish leaders and (of course) Muslim leaders, in the name of the false ecumenism which he preaches nowadays. (What he's promoting is actually a form of syncretism, the heretical notion that all religions are equal, all leading towards the same God. This is contrary to Catholic dogma.) But for the spiritual leader of millions of Buddhists? Errr, sorry, no. That might upset the Chinese Communists, with whom the Church is trying to coexist peacefully, in spite of the fact that they keep killing our clergy and faithful.
Further reading on WWW:
"China -- not a good place to be a democrat or a Catholic"
"Archbishop of Chicago talks about the high price of US citizenship"
But wait, there's more! Mysteriously unreported on Jeff Mirus's Catholic World News website -- I call it "The Daily Pope" -- was Francis's pronouncement this week that... wait for it... all dogs go to heaven!
"One day," the Pope said, "we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all of God's creatures." Amazing! It may be a popular sentiment -- great news for all animal lovers -- but it's completely contrary to Catholic dogma, which teaches us that only human beings can go to heaven, because only humans have souls!
We really must wonder, with Cardinal George, if, in his quest for praise and popularity from the world at large, the Humblest Pope Ever has abandoned completely the Catholic Faith which it is his solemn obligation to protect. God knows.
Comment from Ed.: Perhaps Francis intends his pronouncement to be the new "dog"ma. Geddit?!
UPDATE AND CORRECTION! - Apparently there was much soiling of shorts at the Vatican over reports that Pope Francis said all creatures can go to heaven. Deputy Spokesthingy Fr. Ciro Benedettini said he received a number of calls on the story on Friday, and was taken by surprise because he didn't recall the Pope saying anything like that in remarks at his weekly general audience on Nov. 26.
The New York Times, which ran a story on Thursday about the purported comment, acknowledged its mistake in a correction on Friday that it had misattributed a remark made by Pope Paul VI. So that's OK then because we know that Paul VI is only a step from sainthood, so he must be in heaven and he hasn't sent down a correction.
Another comment from Ed.: Sadly, the misquote may dog Francis' papacy for years.
What does today's date mean to you?
According to the dating system used in the USA -- I'm speaking of calendar-type dating, not hormone-driven dating -- today is December 12, 2014. Since most computer software is written in the USA, your computer, by default, probably shows it as 12/13/14. Geddit?
No? You didn't get it? It's a sequential date. 12, 13, 14. And it's the last such date we'll see until... wait for it... the 2nd day of January, A.D. 2034.
Assuming, that is, that we're not all using the Muslim calendar by then. And that we should live so long. Long life to you, dear reader.
No? You didn't get it? It's a sequential date. 12, 13, 14. And it's the last such date we'll see until... wait for it... the 2nd day of January, A.D. 2034.
Assuming, that is, that we're not all using the Muslim calendar by then. And that we should live so long. Long life to you, dear reader.
Friday, December 12, 2014
Peace on earth ???
It's been a quiet week and Walt has been preoccupied with things he considers important, like the funeral of Jean Béliveau (+RIP) and the price of crude. [I've been saying for a long time that there's an oversupply of crude. Ed.] There wasn't anything else about which I felt moved to write...so I didn't.
I did notice, however, that the committee of ultra-liberals that awards the Nobel Prize for Peace made yet another bunny-brained but ultra-PC decision, giving medallions, half-shares of 8,000,000 kronor (= £690,000 = $1,110,000 in real money) and a year's supply of Rice-a-roni to "child rights activist" Kailash Satyarthi of India and "child education activist" and prominent victim of Islamic extremism Malala Yousafzai of Pakistan.
Miss Yousafzai is a young Muslim woman and Mr. Satyarthi is an older Hindu male. They represent two nations, Pakistan and India, which have hated each other ever since Partition in 1947 and have actually gone to war two or three times within living memory...not counting the sectarian violence which killed millions at the time of Partition itself. Nice balance there. Got a bunch of boxes ticked.
Walt admits to not having heard of Mr. Satyarthi before. Who had? Miss Yousafzai, however, has been an object of adulation down at the pub for years, what with being one of Time's 100 Most Influential People, an honorary citizen of Canada, etc etc and so forth.
Would it be churlish to ask exactly what Miss Yousafzai has done to bring peace on earth? [Yes. Ed.] She has addressed the United Nations and many other august assemblies, received numerous degrees and other honours, shaken the hands of rulers spiritual and temporal. But what has she actually done?
As nearly as I can determine, her sole "accomplishment" so far in life was to be shot in the head -- by a fellow Muslim -- and live to talk about it. And talk and talk and talk.
Never let it be said, though, that the lack of any concrete achievement should disqualify her or anyone from consideration by the Nobel Prize committee. Why, only five years ago, the Peace Prize was awarded to one Barack Hussein Obama, who up to that point had done nothing more than get himself elected President of the Paranoid States of America.
The Prez accepted the prize in Oslo on 10 December 2009. In his acceptance speech, Mr. Obama said he was "surprised" and "deeply humbled" by the award. He stated that he does not feel he deserved the award, and that he did not feel worthy of the company the award would place him in. Cries of "Amen!" may well have been edited out of the video.
And what has the 2009 laureate done since for the cause of world peace? Unlike Malala, he didn't get shot by a fellow-Muslim. He did declare an end to the American occupation of Iraq, which finally took effect earlier this year. But then he reversed himself and ordered the beginning of yet another invasion and occupation, under way as we speak. Is the committee going to ask him to give his Peace Prize back? Errr, not likely. (Lifetime pct .964.)
World peace remains an elusive goal. But Walt's for it! Peace on earth, I say! And if you don't believe in peace on earth, then peace on you!
I did notice, however, that the committee of ultra-liberals that awards the Nobel Prize for Peace made yet another bunny-brained but ultra-PC decision, giving medallions, half-shares of 8,000,000 kronor (= £690,000 = $1,110,000 in real money) and a year's supply of Rice-a-roni to "child rights activist" Kailash Satyarthi of India and "child education activist" and prominent victim of Islamic extremism Malala Yousafzai of Pakistan.
Miss Yousafzai is a young Muslim woman and Mr. Satyarthi is an older Hindu male. They represent two nations, Pakistan and India, which have hated each other ever since Partition in 1947 and have actually gone to war two or three times within living memory...not counting the sectarian violence which killed millions at the time of Partition itself. Nice balance there. Got a bunch of boxes ticked.
Walt admits to not having heard of Mr. Satyarthi before. Who had? Miss Yousafzai, however, has been an object of adulation down at the pub for years, what with being one of Time's 100 Most Influential People, an honorary citizen of Canada, etc etc and so forth.
Would it be churlish to ask exactly what Miss Yousafzai has done to bring peace on earth? [Yes. Ed.] She has addressed the United Nations and many other august assemblies, received numerous degrees and other honours, shaken the hands of rulers spiritual and temporal. But what has she actually done?
As nearly as I can determine, her sole "accomplishment" so far in life was to be shot in the head -- by a fellow Muslim -- and live to talk about it. And talk and talk and talk.
Never let it be said, though, that the lack of any concrete achievement should disqualify her or anyone from consideration by the Nobel Prize committee. Why, only five years ago, the Peace Prize was awarded to one Barack Hussein Obama, who up to that point had done nothing more than get himself elected President of the Paranoid States of America.
The Prez accepted the prize in Oslo on 10 December 2009. In his acceptance speech, Mr. Obama said he was "surprised" and "deeply humbled" by the award. He stated that he does not feel he deserved the award, and that he did not feel worthy of the company the award would place him in. Cries of "Amen!" may well have been edited out of the video.
And what has the 2009 laureate done since for the cause of world peace? Unlike Malala, he didn't get shot by a fellow-Muslim. He did declare an end to the American occupation of Iraq, which finally took effect earlier this year. But then he reversed himself and ordered the beginning of yet another invasion and occupation, under way as we speak. Is the committee going to ask him to give his Peace Prize back? Errr, not likely. (Lifetime pct .964.)
World peace remains an elusive goal. But Walt's for it! Peace on earth, I say! And if you don't believe in peace on earth, then peace on you!
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Polish immigrant seeks divorce from American girl
Thanks (for the second time today) to Agent 34. I trust my restraint in not calling this a Polack joke will be noticed and appreciated.
The REAL reason Obama opposes Keystone
Agent 6, a disinterested but not uninterested observer of the oil biz, passed on some thoughts on President Obarmy's continuing opposition to the proposed Keystone oil pipeline. His sycophants and the enviroweenies would like to believe that his motives are pure and noble and rooted in a desire to save Mother Earth from unspeakable environmental catastrophe, but that analysis should be taken with several large bags of salt. This picture tells you why.
Haven't made the connection yet? Well, this is how 80% of the crude oil coming south from Canada reaches the American midwest and Texas, at present. It's either carried in tankers of the Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroad (seen here passing through Burlington, Iowa), or in those of other short line railroads who pay BN to use its tracks.
Burlington Northern charges about $30 per barrel to haul the oil. But according to the State Department's own estimates, the cost using the Keystone pipeline would be just $10 per barrel. If the pipeline were operating right now, Americans would be paying about 15% less for gasoline!
So why wouldn't the Prez go for it? Here's why. Burlington Northern is owned by Berkshire Hathaway -- Warren Buffet, Prop. Mr. Buffett is a known (and mighty generous) supporter of Democrats and Democratic [with a capital D. Ed.] causes. He's also (in spite of everything) a big fan of Mr. Hopey-Changey, and has hosted several major fundraisers on his behalf.
Got it now? If the Keystone pipeline goes through, Warren Buffett will lose a cool two billion dollars ($2,000,000,000) per year. He gains the same amount every year that the construction of Keystone is delayed. Anyone who believes that this has nothing to do with Obama's stonewalling is invited to contact me for details of some land I have for sale in central Florida.
Haven't made the connection yet? Well, this is how 80% of the crude oil coming south from Canada reaches the American midwest and Texas, at present. It's either carried in tankers of the Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railroad (seen here passing through Burlington, Iowa), or in those of other short line railroads who pay BN to use its tracks.
Burlington Northern charges about $30 per barrel to haul the oil. But according to the State Department's own estimates, the cost using the Keystone pipeline would be just $10 per barrel. If the pipeline were operating right now, Americans would be paying about 15% less for gasoline!
So why wouldn't the Prez go for it? Here's why. Burlington Northern is owned by Berkshire Hathaway -- Warren Buffet, Prop. Mr. Buffett is a known (and mighty generous) supporter of Democrats and Democratic [with a capital D. Ed.] causes. He's also (in spite of everything) a big fan of Mr. Hopey-Changey, and has hosted several major fundraisers on his behalf.
Got it now? If the Keystone pipeline goes through, Warren Buffett will lose a cool two billion dollars ($2,000,000,000) per year. He gains the same amount every year that the construction of Keystone is delayed. Anyone who believes that this has nothing to do with Obama's stonewalling is invited to contact me for details of some land I have for sale in central Florida.
A question of Biblical interpretation
Thanks and a tap on the beret to Agent 34.
[Hope you got Walt's address straight now? Ed.]
[Hope you got Walt's address straight now? Ed.]
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