Whatever you do, don't fart!

Bonbshell news from France th is weekend! Late Saturday night, a 24-year-old man was rushed to the Rangueil Accident and Emergency unit in Toulouse,  "in a state of extreme discomfort, having inserted a large object up his rectum.’ 

An evacuation of the hospital was ordered with seconds, when the large object was discovered to be a World War I artillery shell, still live after all these years. A spokesthing for the authorities told the meeja "Emergency surgery was carried out, and the object was found to be an artillery shell dating back to the First World War. Worse still, it had not exploded, and so bomb disposal experts had to be called to diffuse the shell, with the fire brigade standing by."

Staff and patients were evacuated and a security perimeter was set up around the accident and emergency unit, before the pointed 1918 shell, which was almost 8 inches long and just over an inch in circumference, was declared safe.

The patient, a French national, was set to be interviewed by police this week. Inspector Clouseau of the Toulouse gendarmerie said prosecutors were contemplating legal action against the patient for "handling 'category A munitions."

There was no initial explanation as to why the shell ended up in the man’s body, but local media speculated that "it might have had something to do with his social life."

La Dépêche newspaper writes that medical staff in Toulouse are "accustomed to treating victims injured during sexual games." Shells such as the one found in the patient's nether regions turn up regularly in the fields of France in the so-called "Iron Harvest"’ – the annual collection of often unexploded ordnance from the two world wars found on farmland, building sites, and other disrupted land.

Your Singhs today (Canada Post edition)

More evidence emerges today of how Sikhs have taken over the Canadian polity. On Sunday, Canada Post, a perennial money-losing agency of the Liberal government of Canuckistan, unveiled a new commemorative stamp paying tribute to Sikh Canadian soldiers.

Speaking at the 18th annual Sikh Remembrance Day ceremony at Mount Hope Cemetery in Kitchener ON, Balraj Singh Dhillon, Canada Post's General Manager of Platform and Partnerships [and Canadians wonder why Canada Post loses so much money! Ed.] said the stamp honours the service and contributions of Sikh soldiers in the Canadian military dating back to WWI.

Inevitably, Sandeep Singh Brar, curator of Sikh Museum.com, played the racism card, telling the meeja that during WWI, only ten (count `em, 10) Sikhs were permitted to serve in the Canadian army. "Thousands of Sikhs at the time tried to join, but they were turned away. They were told that ‘Sorry fellas, this is a white man’s war."

Later on, however, 1000s of Sikhs were recruited into Canada's military and police forces, their only demand being that they be allowed to wear their turbans and holy underpants, and carry their kirpans. 

One Singh who rose to a position of prominence in the modern Canadian [sic] Armed Forces is Harjit Singh Sajjan, Lt-Col. Retd., a former police office who became the first of his kind to command a Canadian Army reserve regiment.

Inevitably (again), Mr Sajjan became a Liberal politician, riding into office on the Trudeau wave of 2015. He served as the MP for Vancouver South until 2025, when, sensing imminent defeat, he chose not seek re-election in the federal election. 

Immediately upon his election, Mr Sajjan was named Minister of National Defence, in which position he served himself until 2021. In 2017, he was forced to apologize for exaggerating his role in Operation Medusa, a 2006 military operation in Afghanistan in which he was involved. Four years later (!), he was censured by vote in the House of Commons for his claims about Operation Medusa, as well as his handling of the issue of sexual assault within the Canadian Armed Forces. 

Although he was no longer the defence minister, Mr Sajjan was still in the Trudeau cabinet and in a position to help his co-religionists. In 2024, he came under criticism for prioritizing the evacuation of Sikhs with no links to Canada during the 2021 fall of Kabul, as well as for requesting troops to appear as backdrop to a pop concert by a Punjabi singer.

For some reason, Mr Sajjan, who is believed to be still alive and living in Surrey BC, was unable to attend the ceremony in Kitchener. However, the Liberal Party line was stated with admirable brevity by Sandeep Singh Brar (see above) who said that the stamp is a strong representation of Canada's diverse population.

In Brampton ON and Surrey BC, diversity began when the first Sikh family moved in, and will end when the last non-Sikh family moves out... probably sometime in 2026.

"The war to end all wars" ended a century ago. Wars continue.

11 November 2018 is the 100th anniversary of the signing, at Compiègne, in northern France, of the Armistice that ended the Great War, aka World War I, aka The War to End All Wars. Yet wars continue. As John McDermott sings in "The Ballad of Willie McBride" says, it all happened again... And again... And again.

General Robert E. Lee, a moral and upright man whose memory is now being trashed by the NPCs, said to General James Longstreet, as they surveyed the carnage of the Battle of Fredericksburg "It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we should grow too fond of it." But it seems we have grown too fond of it.

Perhaps it's because advances in technology have reduced the body counts. On "our side", at least. Or maybe it's the advances in medicine and hygiene which means that, nowadays, more soldiers and sailors and airmen die of wounds than of disease and starvation. Whatever it is, we seem to scarcely finish one war before starting another. Sometimes we don't even wait for the first war to end, so we can fight two or three or four wars all at the same time. All for freedom, democracy, equality, human rights, and generally to make the world a better place. For "our side", at least.

Not all of the thousands upon thousands who died fighting our "good wars" did so for the sake of freedom and all that. Some of them did, but some of them died because they obeyed orders and went unflinchingly to the death to which they were sent. It is those men and women -- the ones who didn't want to be there and shouldn't have been there in the first place -- whom Walt wishes to remember today.

VIDEO: Leonard Cohen recites "In Flanders Fields"

Leonard Cohen, the hugely influential singer and songwriter whose work spanned nearly 50 years, died Monday at the age of 82. Yesterday evening, Mr Cohen's record label, Sony Canada, posted this statement on his Facebook page: "It is with profound sorrow we report that legendary poet, songwriter and artist, Leonard Cohen has passed away. We have lost one of music's most revered and prolific visionaries. A memorial will take place in Los Angeles at a later date. The family requests privacy during their time of grief."

Mr Cohen's manager, Robert Kory, said, "Unmatched in his creativity, insight and crippling candor, Leonard Cohen was a true visionary whose voice will be sorely missed. I was blessed to call him a friend, and for me to serve that bold artistic spirit firsthand, was a privilege and great gift. He leaves behind a legacy of work that will bring insight, inspiration and healing for generations to come."

Just over two years ago, Legion Magazine (published by the Royal Canadian Legion), released a video to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the poem "In Flanders Fields", written by Lt.-Col. John McCrae, of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, as he contemplated the crosses marking the graves of his comrades who died in World War I. Here's the video.

How about a better name for Biggar?

Yes, folks, there really is a place called Biggar in the western Canadian province of Saskatchewan. Motto (in case the pic is too small): New York is big, but this is Biggar!

How (I hear you asking) did Biggar get its name? According to Agent 3, who lived in that neck of the woods for a while, there are two theories. The first is that it was named after a director the Canadian Pacific Railway. The top hat gang were travelling through western Canada on newly laid track and decreed that there should be a town every 15 miles or so. Having given no thought to names, they adopted the expedient of naming the proposed settlements after themselves.

The other theory is that the same directors stopped the train 15 miles after the last one, looked around, saw nothing, and said "B*gg*r this!" The company secretary supplied the missing vowels in the meeting minutes.

Whatever the truth of the matter may be, it must be said that "Biggar" is not much of a name. Walt thinks the town should be renamed, if not after a saint [they're all already taken by Québec. Ed.], then by a name out of history, or the name of someplace in "the old country".

But which old country? Walt is in the middle of Catastrophe: Europe Goes to War 1914, the weighty but interesting new work by Max Hastings (Collins 2013). In the chapter on the campaigns in Galicia -- the part of modern-day Poland and Ukraine around the Carpathian mountains -- there are some great place names. And there are loads of Ukrainian-Canadians in Saskatchewan. [And "Walt" is a common name amongst Ukrainians and people of that ilk, right? Ed.]

Yes... for all these reasons I am suggesting "Biggar" be changed to... wait for it... Przemysl! Or Перемишль -- aintcha impressed?!To make it easier to spell, we'll omit the accent mark from the Romanized version. [Wouldn't hurt to add a vowel or two as well. Ed.] To the citizens of Biggar... you're welcome!

November 11th - a day to remember

Some call it by its old name: Armistice Day. Others call it Remembrance Day. Still others know it only as November 11th. No matter what you call it, November 11th is, or should be more than just a date. It's a day to remember those who gave their lives for our countries in a number of wars.

The exact number of wars is debatable. Depends which country you're talking about, and who's counting. But they were all "good wars"... "just wars"... right? They all needed to be fought, right? To preserve freedom and democracy and equality and all those other Good Things. Right? Maybe it's all debatable.

The "Armistice" in Armistice Day refers to the truce proclaimed on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 -- the armistice that ended the Great War, the war that would end all wars. But, as "The Ballad of Willie McBride" says, it all happened again... And again... And again.

It all happened before, too. Remembrance Day 2012 is close enough to being the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Queenston Heights, fought on the west side of the Niagara River near the beginning of the War of 1812. One side was fighting for freedom and democracy. The other side was fighting for, errr, freedom and democracy.

Remembrance Day 2012 is also about seven weeks past the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Antietam, in which more Americans died than in any other single engagement in any other war... ever. 12,000 Union troops died that day, as did 10,500 Confederate soldiers. They were all fighting for freedom and democracy. They just had different ideas of what those words meant.

The Battle of Antietam preceded by not quite three months the Battle of Fredericksburg, which was just about as bloody. As they surveyed the carnage, General Robert E. Lee said to General James Longstreet, "It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we should grow too fond of it."

But it seems we have grown too fond of it. Perhaps it's because advances in technology have reduced the body counts. On "our side", at least. Or maybe it's the advances in medicine and hygiene which means that, nowadays, more soldiers and sailors and airmen die of wounds than of disease and starvation.

Whatever it is, we seem to scarcely finish one war before starting another. Sometimes we don't even wait for the first war to end, so we can fight two or three or four wars all at the same time. All for freedom, democracy, equality, human rights, and generally to make the world a better place. For "our side", at least.

Not all of the thousands upon thousands who died fighting our "good wars" did so for the sake of freedom and all that. Some of them did, sure, but some of them died because they obeyed orders and went unflinchingly to the death to which they were sent. It is those men and women -- the ones who didn't want to be there and shouldn't have been there in the first place -- whom Walt wishes to remember today.

Footnote: If you've never heard "The Ballad of Willie McBride", also known as "No Man's Land" or "The Green Fields of France", click here. This version, by John McDermott, is the best.