Incredible! Brian Griffin returns!

Last night, on the hit TV series Family Guy, Brian Griffin, beloved dog, came back from the dead! Just like Bobby Ewing, only much quicker, and with a convoluted plot twist which made the old "it was only a dream" shtick look reasonable.

For the three or four people on the planet who don't watch Family Guy, Brian was hit by a car last month. Stewie, having just destroyed his time machine, was uanble to go back in time and rescue him. And so the Griffins got a new dog, Vinnie, who seemed to have been abandoned by a family of Mafiosi.

In last night’s episode, Vinnie takes Stewie to visit the local mall Santa, to cheer him (Stewie) up. Stewie asks Santa to return Brian for Christmas. "I want my friend back," he cries. "My best friend, my dog, Brian, he’s dead. It’s out first Christmas without him and no one has even mentioned his name. I don’t care about this stupid carnival or Christmas! I don’t care about anything but Brian!"

And, he adds, "Oh yeah. I'd like a bike, too." But Santa can't produce a bike, let alone Brian, so Stewie is disappointed. But then... here it comes... Stewie spots an "alternate Stewie" (the product of an earlier travel through time) in the toy store, and remembers that the other Stewie has a copy of the time machine was hidden in his backpack.

Mirabile dictu! Stewie swipes alternate Stewie's time machine, goes back to the scene of the accident in which Brian was killed, and pushes him out of harm's way, just in the nick of time! Vinnie is left in the future -- I guess -- along with alternate Stewie, and Stewie and Brian are BFFs once again. Got it?

Walt wonders if Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane was genuinely moved by the outpouring of grief of 1000s of Brian-lovers, or the numerous online petitions to bring back the loveable dog. Or was this MacFarlane's "New Coke" strategy, killing off Brian and introducing the new character who made the hard-drinking, sarcastic, lecherous Brian look good by comparison.

If this tortured plot twist was indeed planned months in advance, in an attempt to create a buzz and build ratings, that would have been a very cyncial move, wouldn't it. Could TV producers be cyncial manipulators who delight in playing on the emotions of their audiences? Could bears still defecate in the shrubbery? Anyway, welcome back Brian!

Brian Griffin RIP

It's fortunate, in a way, that last night's Grey Cup* game wasn't much of a contest, otherwise Walt might have missed the latest episode of Family Guy, the funniest cartoon show on TV. I had been misled by the trailer into thinking that it was another of those "Stewie's time machine" episodes (which are funny enough) but it was much more than that.

Yes, the show started off with a sequence about Stewie and Brian going back to the Jamestown settlement to take guns away from the Indians, thus preventing them from controlling America in the future. In the aftermath, Stewie destroys his time machine, which turns out to be huge mistake because, when Brian is hit by a speeding car, Stewie is unable to go back in time to prevent the accident.

So Brian dies. I'm so sorry... not least because I identified with Brian in aspiring to be a writer... and being hot for Lois.

In the latter half of the episode, the Griffins get a new dog named "Vinnie", who speaks with an Italian-American inflection straight out of The Sopranos. As well he might, since he is voiced by Tony Sirico. Vinnie describes himself as a "pussy hound"... which means he's 1/16th cat. Walt hates him already.

Will Vinnie stick with the Griffins? Or will Seth MacFarlane find a way to bring Brian back to life, even without the aid of Stewie's time machine? "It was only a dream!" has been done already, but stay tuned...

* Emblematic of the Canadian Football League championship. Saskatchewan romped over the frozen turf to thump Hamilton 45-23, much to the delight of the bookmakers.