Is Zimbabwe's Comrade Bob Mugabe dead or just sleeping?

In yesterday's post in which I shared a story from Dr CZ about the desperation of life in today's Zimbabwe, I included a link to an earlier piece in which Graceless Mugabe, Comrade Bob's wife, was described as "widow-to-be". No sooner had Ed. got it up (the post, I mean) but I saw an article on the (Zimbabwe) NewsDay website headed: "Mugabe in fresh health scare".

A follow-up today says that NewsDay editor Wisdom Mudzungairi and reporter Richard Chidza have been arrested on charges of undermining or insulting the President of Zimbabwe, an offence that has been on the books since people started making fun of the name of the wretched country's first president -- Canaan Banana. Seriously. That was his name. He was only a figurehead president for the first couple of years of independence. As Prime Minister, Comrade Bob held the real power. Then he decided he didn't need a figurehead and made himself "executive president".

The NewsDay journos were arrested because of what they wrote about the President for Life (or Until Next Week -- whichever comes first) having been spirited out of the country, rushed to his doctors in Singapore for further treatment for prostate cancer or for some medical emergency. Perhaps he choked on a piece of birthday cake.

Whatever the problem is, merely mentioning it is "undermining or insulting the President", in the eyes of Zimbabwe's rulers, hence the arrests of the NewsDay newshounds.  Their lawyer, Obey Shava of Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights, confirmed that the duo, together with Alpha Media Holding legal assistant Sifikile Thabete, handed themselves at Harare Central Police Station where they were summoned to report to the Law and Order department. The trio have since been released into the custody of their lawyer.

Walt wonders whether, if Comrade Bob dies in Singapore (lifetime pct .992), the charges against The NewsDay Three will be dropped? Perhaps that depends on who succeeds him. Queue his lovely wife Graceless, last heard at his birthday bash in Bulawayo muttering "Let him eat cake..."

Mugabe's corpse could win next Zimbabwe election, widow-to-be says

Comrade Robert Gabriel Mugabe, Past-Present-and-Future President of the People's Republic of Zimbabwe, turns 93 next week. "Uncle Bob" has ruled Zimbabwe ever since the perfidious British handed the peaceful and prosperous country known as Rhodesia over to the black majority in 1980. He has never been officially declared President For Life, but that's how things have turned out. Now his second wife, Grasping Grace, says his reign will continue, even if (as most Zimbabweans wish) he dies.

Speaking on Thursday at a party rally in a dorp called Buhera, Zimbabwe's First Lady suggested that even if her husband's corpse is put on the ballot paper for elections due in 2018, people would still vote for him. The lovely and fragrant Grace has in the past made numerous controversial suggestions regarding Comrade Bob's 37-year rule, at one point claiming he will rule Zimbabwe from the grave or from a wheelchair, whichever comes first!

Mr Mugabe was one of the ruling Zanu-PF party's biggest strengths, his widow wannabe said. "Our first strength is in President Mugabe. Even if we go anywhere people will respect him," she said, adding even children were aware of his importance. "You hear people accusing me of still wanting to continue as the First Lady of this nation," she went on, "saying that is why I don't want to tell the President to retire. I am not the only one who voted for him. Only a fool will say that. We will field a candidate of a corpse on the ballot if God takes Mugabe and people will vote for him just to show how much the President is loved."

After the thunderous applause from the Zanu-PF supporters (Sid and Doris Moyo) died down, Grace added, "Let's wait for God's time when He decides that Mugabe should stop and then we enter into the race. But one thing you must not forget is that if you don't have Mugabe's support it will be difficult for you."

Walt, who lived in Zimbabwe for some time back in the day, would add that life itself will be difficult for the people of that unfortunate country, no matter who's squatting in the State House bequeathed to the ruler by the evil whites. Mother Africa always wins.