Poor Len gives up on Habs... for this season

Ed. here. Poor Len Canayen called me yesterday evening following the Montréal Canadiens 4-1 loss to the Florida Panthers, which puts the ABF nail in the coffin of their Stanley Cup playoff hopes. "Once you've finished crying in your Molson Canadian, write some advice to Marc Bergevin about what to during the summer to give fans a better team next year." Here's what he sent us.

Tank youse, Hed. Just to be clear, though, while I a happreciate evryting la famille Molson has done for Canada's team, I don't drink dat beer because it's just Coors in a can wit a maple leaf. I like Creemore Springs India Pale Ale. Look it up.

Hokay den, I'm not gonna rehash all the reasons/excuses for the Habs' poor performance, including two (2) 8-game winless streaks. I can't remember a season in which the team was so hard-hit by injuries, including two or three key players out at the same time.

Counting Charlie Lindgren, 8 of the players dressed for Thursday night's game vs Tampa Bay were from the AHL Laval Rocket. But there's more to the story than bad luck. If I could work out what's wrong, I'd be standing behind the bench instead of Claude Julien.

But I can't, and, since M Julien will be back next season, the most I can do is ask M Bergevin to ensure that Coach Claude has a bigger group of good players to work with. Here's my list of who to move and not move during the off-season which is fast approaching.

Players you keep, for sure: Carey Price and Shea Weber. Sure they're not getting any younger, but they're both playing well (allowing for the occasional off night) and are, with Brendan Gallagher, the glue that holds la Sainte Flannelle together. Besides, they both have hyuge contracts with years to run, and M Molson would have to eat part of their salaries if you trade them. And who would you get in return? Don't tell me about draft picks. You already have lots of picks; you just need to draft better prospects!

Jeff Petry. That guy's a horse. He can play 20-25-30 minutes per game without breaking a sweat. Sure he sometimes pinches too deep, but he's got a shot from the point second only to Weber's, and you need him on the power play. He's the only D-man you've got, besides Weber, who could even be in the conversation for the Norris Trophy.,

This year the Habs have had just one (1) solid forward line: Philip Danault, Tomas Tatar and Brendan Gallagher. I wish we have a dozen Gallaghers, the kind of players who punch over their weight and never give up, no matter what. Danault is one of the most under-rated centres in the NHL, and he's consistent. I haven't heard any talk about trading those two, but in the run-up to the trade deadline, Tatar's name was mentioned more than once. Why?! "Tuna" was a great pick-up, for cheap, and was having a great year until he got injured last week. Why would you even think about trading him?

Players should probably keep, unless you get somebody who is really good, not just a prospect, in return: Max Domi, Paul Byron, and Nick Suzuki. All three have speed and skill. The trick is getting them on the right lines. Suzuki impressed the hell out of me in the first half of the season, but seems to have hit a wall in his rookie year. He needs some stability -- being on the same line with more experienced players -- to develop. Domi needs to keep it simple and shoot more. Byron's never going to be a 20-goal scorer but he's invaluable on the PK, good for a couple of shorties every year. Joel Armia's worth keeping, just needs to have more confidence in himself.

Back on defence, you should probably keep Ben Chariot, who's been steady if unspectacular throughout the year. Of those who came up from the Rocket, I like Xavier Ouellet, also steady and not trying to do too much. Down on the farm, there's also Cale Fleury, who had a good start with the big team before being sent down for seasoning. [How come he doesn't speak French? Ed.] And behind him, in goal, rookie Cayden Primeau looks like being capable of taking the back-up role next year.

Guys you should get rid of: Charles Hudon, who's had more than enough chances. Jesperi Kotkaniemi, ruined by being poorly managed in his rookie year last year. Arturi Lehkonen, Mr Choke. Charlie Lindgren, who makes the guys in front of him nervous.

So there you go, mon cher Marc. I gave you 13 guys who I'd like to see on next season's edition of the Bleu-Blanc-et-Rouge. Shop everybody else around and see if you can get another 10 or 12 to round out the roster. Bonne chance! À la prochaine!

Memos from Poor Len Canayen re: le CH

Note from Ed.: I thought you readers might be tired of seeing the little drawing of our contributor, Poor Len Canayen, which I usually insert into his posts, so have decided to substitute a real photo. I have intercepted a couple of angry e-mails which he sent to the named addressees last night following the Habs' 3-1 loss to the Sharks.

To Dave Stubbs, Montreal Gazoo: How do you like your boy Subban now? On the ice for all three Sharks goals and lucky to finish at only -2. All-star defenceman... hah!

To Michel Therrien, head coach: Hé copain! Would you please read or reread "Poor Len explains what ails the Habs (and it's not just Subban)", posted just last week! Everybody's a Sunday-morning coach, but I have to admit that I diagnosed the team's problems, 3 out of 3. (Lifetime pct .990)

What were you thinking, putting Dustin Tokarski between the pipes for a third straight game? The kid was hung out to dry by Subban and Markov, for sure, but why take the chance. He had a loss and a win in the previous two games. You should've let it go at that and started Condon. Any confidence which Tokarski might have had is gone now.

And what are you going to do about Subban and Markov? Following a couple of sloppy and half-hearted games, you made Nathan Beaulieu watch from the press box for a couple of games, and he came back strong against Ottawa and again last night. Why can't you do that to the Nine-million-dollar Man? I know, I know... Management won't let you. Either that or you're afraid of being called a racist (probably by Dave Stubbs)! As for Markov, maybe he's just worn out guessing what Subban's going to do next. Give both of them a rest for a game.

Finally, what about offence? I admit that's a hard one to fix. Until Brendan Gallagher returns -- possibly for the New Year's Winter Classic? -- I can only suggest that you stop juggling the lines, so the guys know with some certainty who's on the ice with them at any given time.

Michel... don't listen to those other guys! Listen to me!