Erstwhile comedian Billy McChrystal, who clawed his way out of the entertainment gutter and rose to the lofty position of U.S. commander in Afghanistan, seems likely to be planning a return to the nightclub circuit following an evening of fun and frolic with freelance journalist Mike Hastings, who was doing a profile on the general for Rolling Stone.
McChrystal's commander-in-chief, the Rainbow President, has invited Billy to the Formerly White House for what is expected to be a severe bollocking. "I was just trying out some impressions", McChrystal said, "but I guess the prez wasn't amused. I hope he'll change his mind once he sees the polished version of my new act."
The material McChrystal referred to reportedly included Vice-President "Joe Bite Me", U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan Karl Eikenberry, and National Security Adviser James Earl Jones, who was depicted as a clown. "I rented a Krusty the Klown outfit for that one," McChrystal said. "I mean, I really put some effort into this, y'know?"
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said McChrystal's new routine was definitely a CLM, and hinted that McChrystal "will never work in this town again". Gibbs promised that in his meeting with McChrystal, President Barack would be "wide awake and fully engaged...not like last time."
The Americans are expected to follow the lead of the Canadian Armed Forces, who earlier this month assigned their former commander in Afghanistan, General Daniel Ménard, to head a crack team developing a new computerized personnel system. Given his background in entertainment, General McChrystal is tipped to be placed in charge of of bringing Bob Hope back from the dead to headline a new USO show to cheer up the boys in the Middle East.
Neither the U.S. nor the Canadian Armed Forces have yet named new commanders for the Afghanistan police action. However, Walt can reveal the names of the leading candidates: Brig.-Gen. Stan Lee Laurel (Canada) and the first top-level female commander in U.S. history, Gen. Olive R. Hardy.
Showing posts with label Daniel Menard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daniel Menard. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Even generals are human
"If you try to deny basic needs, it always bites you on the ass." So says Sue McGarvie, a clinical sex therapist who has counselled dozens of Canadian soldiers.
Speaking to Canadian Press, McGarvie said the need for "close relationships" is programmed by 100 million years of human evolution. Well DUH! She may be a bit off on the statistic, but the primal urge has been around ever since Adam, realizing that Eve came from inside him, thought he'd try to get inside her.
Ms McGarvie was commenting on the recent scandal which saw Brigadier General Daniel Menard, commander of the Canadian forces in Afghanistan, relieved of command and returned to Canada for ... ahem ... screwing a corporal. (Female corporal, to be sure! Nothing wrong with Menard!)
"[Soldiers] are in an incredibly difficult situation and looking for comfort, and we are expecting them to be automatons," McGarvie said. "You cannot fight it. You put adults together in any situation and you're going to have sex and intimacy." Again, DUH!
Of all the countries fighting for democracy and human rights in Afghanistan [Take your tongue out of your cheek! ed.] Canada's ban on relationships is arguably the strictest. Even the American military has begun easing its attitude toward personal relationships, including those of a non-heterosexual nature.
Ms McGarvie said the military should judge Menard and other soldiers solely on how well they do their job, not by any consensual relationships they might pursue. Walt agrees.
That a competent and heretofore-respected officer should find his career finished because of what civilians would see as "an office affair" seems to me a denial of the reality of human feelings and failings.
Speaking to Canadian Press, McGarvie said the need for "close relationships" is programmed by 100 million years of human evolution. Well DUH! She may be a bit off on the statistic, but the primal urge has been around ever since Adam, realizing that Eve came from inside him, thought he'd try to get inside her.
Ms McGarvie was commenting on the recent scandal which saw Brigadier General Daniel Menard, commander of the Canadian forces in Afghanistan, relieved of command and returned to Canada for ... ahem ... screwing a corporal. (Female corporal, to be sure! Nothing wrong with Menard!)
"[Soldiers] are in an incredibly difficult situation and looking for comfort, and we are expecting them to be automatons," McGarvie said. "You cannot fight it. You put adults together in any situation and you're going to have sex and intimacy." Again, DUH!
Of all the countries fighting for democracy and human rights in Afghanistan [Take your tongue out of your cheek! ed.] Canada's ban on relationships is arguably the strictest. Even the American military has begun easing its attitude toward personal relationships, including those of a non-heterosexual nature.
Ms McGarvie said the military should judge Menard and other soldiers solely on how well they do their job, not by any consensual relationships they might pursue. Walt agrees.
That a competent and heretofore-respected officer should find his career finished because of what civilians would see as "an office affair" seems to me a denial of the reality of human feelings and failings.
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