Your Singhs today (Peel Region, ON) - "They're stealing our butter!"

Agent 3's attention was caught by this headline in the Toronto Sun: "SPREAD 'EM: Accused butter bandits toast after Peel cops bust slippery scheme". "Butter bandits"??!! What kind of people would steal butter? But it's Peel Region, where the majority of people are from south Asia, so let's see...

What follows is a lightly edited version of the report on the Peel Regional Police blotter:

Investigators from the 22 Division Criminal Investigation Bureau (CIB) have arrested and charged six individuals in a theft investigation in Brampton. 

In December 2024, investigators became aware of a significant increase in theft of butter and ghee* from grocery stores within the Region of Peel, with losses of over $60,000 in stolen property in 2023. 

Project Flaherty [??? Did they think the perps were Irish?] was established to target and combat the increase in butter and ghee thefts. As a result, three individuals were charged with Possession of Property Obtained by Crime: Vishavjeet Singh, a 22-year-old man of no-fixed address; Sukmander Singh, a 23-year-old man from Brampton; Dalwal Singh Sidhu, a 28-year-old man from Brampton.

In addition, three individuals were arrested and charged with Theft Under $5000: Navdeep Chaudhary, a 22-year-old man from Brampton; Kamaldeep Singh, a 38-year-old man of no-fixed address; Harkerat Singh, a 25-year-old man of no-fixed address.

The six individuals will appear at the Ontario Court of Justice in Brampton at a later date. CIB continues to investigate these incidents, including which businesses are accepting these stolen products. Similar incidents have been reported across Ontario, including one in Brantford where suspects stole about $1200 [$840 in real money] worth of butter from a grocery store. 

The coppers didn't say anything about what all these Singhs got into Canada and what they're doing here when they're not stealing butter. Walt suspects that they are all students at the infamous Singh School of Truck Driving. Those with no fixed address likely live in their trucks as they cross and recross the World's Longest Undefended Border (TM) with loads of spreadables and "other stuff".

CTV News adds that Scott Tracey, a spokesperson Guelph Police Service, told them in November that there appears to be an online black market for butter. Good police work there, Scott! One "expert"  noted that that butter thefts would continue as long as the cost of living and food prices remained high. No shit, Sherlock!

*Ghee is a type of clarified butter, originating from the Indian subcontinent. It is commonly used for cooking, as a traditional medicine, and for Hindu religious rituals. You're welcome.