Suggested name for the Washington (DC) football team

As widely expected, the NFL Washington Redskins have caved to the SJWs and their "woke" corporate sponsors and announced today that they would be dumping their Indian ["Native American", shurely! Ed.] warrior mascot into the same trash bin as Chief Wahoo, where they will soon be joined by Chief Black Hawk who looks like a twin of the Washington... errr... Native American, and perhaps even Notre Dame's Fighting Irishman. [What's wrong with him, ye spud-faced bastard!? Ed.]

All this was predicted by my goodself a year and a half ago. See "'Racist' logos, 'racist' mascots, 'racist' names - Where will it end?", WWW 30/1/18. Lifetime pct .983.

Of course the team name will have to change too. How can they keep on calling themselves "Washington" when they make their home at FedExField (formerly Jack Kent Cooke Stadium -- remember him?) in Landover MD? Is a puzzlement. I saw on the idiot's lantern today that the mayor of Washington DC is working on that problem. "First we have to seize the land," she said... if I heard her correctly.

The greater problem seems to be the second part of the team name. Some say that if you can have a football team called the Browns, and a baseball team called the Reds, and a hockey team called the Blues, what's wrong with "Redskins".

Aha! It's the "skins" part! Although not so heinous as the Word Which May Not Be Spoken Or Even Referred To By Its First letter, "Redskins" ranks right up there with "our little red brothers" [Ugh, kemosabe! Ed.] as one of the more foul racialized descriptives. It must go.

Just last week we reposted an anonymous fan's excellent suggestion for a new team name. See "Suggested name change for the Washington Redskins", 8/7/20. But for some reason, "Washington Foreskins" has not made the short list. So it's up to Walt, as usual to come up with a name which will offend no-one and satisfy everyone. Are ya ready?

Really ready?
Here `tis. (Drum roll please, Ed.)

The Washington Generals! The team's owners said that the new name should have some military connotation, and of course the Washington connection must be kept, so "Washington Generals" is perfect!

But (I hear you say), there's already a team with that name! They used to play against the Harlem Globetrotters, although of course they weren't in the same league. (Geddit?) True enough, but the key phrase there is "used to". After over 60 years of playing -- and losing -- to the showboating and basketball tricks of the Globetrotters, the Generals hung up their sneakers five summers ago.

They closed up shop with the worst record in sports history, having won one (1) game and lost more than 16,000. Their name became, like that of Harold Stassen, a synonym for losing, so much so that Krusty the Clown could bet on the Generals to win and we were all supposed to get the joke.

So there's the perfect name. The old logo of the tiny white dude flailing aimlessly with a ball held over his head would have to change, of course, but a similar image, in which whites would be shown to be inferior, shouldn't be hard to design. And Everyone That Counts would be happy. Right?!