Brilliant satire from the People's Cube: dream diary of Tiffany, SJW

Komissar al-Blogunov, writing in The People's Cube, has concocted a brilliant piece of satire: "From the dream diary of Tiffany, SJW". Constraints of space prevent us from reposting the whole thing, but these excerpts will give you the flavour of it. To read the aarticle in its entirety, follow the link at the end.

Okay, like, I had this totally awful dream last night, okay - in my safe space! It was literally the worst dream I have ever literally had. It went like this:

It was November 3, 2020. Bernie won! It was wonderful that he won because that meant that Trump was gone! My feminist studies professor told me that Trump was literally the worst Republican president since Hitler, and I believe him. Everybody on campus was cheering, hugging, dancing, getting high, and waving rainbow flags while burning American flags. It was the greatest day in our nation's history.

Bernie gave the best inaugural address that I have literally ever heard. He said, "The time has come to realize FDR's Second Bill of Rights."

I had to Google FDR, and Google said that he was literally the best president ever and AOC said Republicans persecuted him and rewrote the Constitution (some kind of boat, I don't get it) so he couldn't run for a fifth term after he died.

My bad, back to the speech. It was literally awesome.... I thought I was literally going to go deaf from all the cheering. But then something really weird happened in my dream, and it was like I was going forward in time....

I guess I needed to like, work or something. I knew I could make a lot of money with the new minimum living wage of $50 per hour (Thank you, thank you, Bernie!) so I looked for my first job. I was so confused because it was like everybody else needed a job, too. Everywhere I went some guy or some woman would tell me they couldn't afford to hire me. I went to the Employment Council building, and they said that since I was white I had to move to the back of the line. How come there were no jobs when the pay was so good?

We ended up living in an alley, and I'm not lying when I tell you it was literally the filthiest place I've ever seen. We tried to make a shelter, but it didn't do much to keep the rain out, and nobody would share their tent with us. My little brother got sick, so we took him to the hospital because all the health care was free (Thank you again, Bernie, you're awesome!) and we knew we could just walk in. You know what? There were so. many. sick people there. When we got to the desk, Mommy said that my brother may have typhoid (she used to be a nurse) and needed to be seen immediately. Well, the clerk told us to go home and come back when there weren't so many sick people in the waiting room and the earliest appointment we could get was 11 months later.

When I woke up, I was so confused, so angry. I mean, how is it even possible for socialism to turn out so bad when they make so many cool promises? Whatever. We just need the right people in charge.

Click here to go to The People's Cube and read Tiffany's bad dream, in its entirety. Good job, Komisar! Keep up the good work!