UFOs, sure, but have you seen the UFDs in Portland?

Walt welcomes a new agent, No. 69. [Any reason for that number? Ed.] [Of course not. Walt] Agent 69 has a keen interest in pix and videos of UFOs -- Unidentified Flying Objects -- and other mysterious things. He has just alerted us to the appearance in Portland OR of numerous UFDs -- Unidentified Flying Dildos.

You read right, friends. Hundreds of sex toys have been spotted hanging from power lines across major commercial streets in the Rose City. Here are pix of four sightings.

OK. Maybe we should call them UHDs, for Unidentified Hanging Objects. And they're not really "Unidentified", are they. Most readers of WWW should know what they are.

Whatever they are, their origin remains a mystery. Portlandians or Portlandites [Ed., what do those people call themselves?] have been sharing images like these online, trying to figure out who might be responsible. And the authorities have been called in. A spokesthingy for Portland General Electric said he did not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.

Any Portlandian (or whatever) who can shed some light on the provenance of the HDs (Hanging Dildos) is invited to contact Walt at the usual address.

Footnote: There's actually a place in Newfoundland called Dildo. You can look it up.

Note from Ed.: No, I can't see the dildo in the lower right picture either. Maybe it flew away.