Do you want these men to know what you're looking at on the Net?

You know these guys, right? They are the federal ministers in charge of protecting Canadians from indecency, immorality, and incorrectness in all its forms.

Rob Nicholson, on the right, is the Minister of Justice. Vic Toews (rhymes with "raves"), on his right -- and that's pretty far right, believe me! -- is the Minister of "Public Safety". Old Vic is the one who, earlier this week, said that anyone who doesn't stand with the Harpoon government in support of its internet snoop and spy legislation is "either...with us or with the child pornographers". Walt's not making this up. Neither is Toews. He really means it.

In yesterday's post, I got the name of the Conservative government's latest police state law wrong. As you can see from the picture, it's now being called the "Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act". So if you're not a paedophile -- like that dreaful Herbert on Family Guy -- you've got nothing to fear.

If you're not using electronic communications devices, like computers and smartphones, to lure kids into your web of iniquity, the police will have no reason to read your e-mails or track your movements through cellphone signals. Right? Mind you, they wouldn't need a warrant to do so, so if they feel like "just checking", there's nothing to stop them. So even if all you're into is a little light self-gratification, you can't be sure no-one knows.

If you're still not worried, you might want to have a look at "Online surveillance bill targets child porn", on CBC.ca, which is the website of the government-owned broacaster -- the same government that's pushing this bill (C-30) through Parliament. Once passed, this noble-sounding act will require telecommunications and Internet providers to hand over -- without getting a warrant or other court order -- your subscriber data, including name, address, mobile phone number and IP address.

But wait (as Vince Offer says)... there's more! The bill will also make the communications companies give police a “back door” for easy surveillance. [Ah yes... the old back passage. Ed.] Police can also get warrants to track any information sent online, so they'll know who sent it and from where. And they can get court orders forcing other parties to preserve electronic evidence. That means if you delete a file that someone sent you -- even by mistake -- you can be guilty of an offence.

And that's the one that really sucks. (Sorry, Herbert!) Here we are fretting about what Google and Yahoo! and Facebook do with the stuff we put online, without thinking about who's going to be looking at our profiles, our pictures, our searches and so on. These things can now be seen by any cop or other guardian of the law or "protector of public safety" who asks for it.

NDP Member of Parliament argues that the Act will give the police an unlimited "fishing licence", letting them trawl through any and all "private communications", that being the all-encompassing term used in the bill. Mr. Angus said cellphones would become "electronic prisoner’s bracelets".

Welcome to the Conservatives' Canada. Will you being staying long, or will you be looking for someplace where you can have a little privacy? Good luck with that!