A typical Canadian scene

Agent 34 sent us this picture from a place called Stony Plain, in the western part of Canuckistan.

Yep, it's a Zamboni [an ice-surfacing machine. Ed.] being driven through the local Tim Hortons [Americans call it a "coffee and bake shop". Ed.] by Jesse Myshak, a typical hoser [Canadian. Ed.] Mr Myshak was at his shop on Tuesday, working on the new toy he bought to flood his rink in his backyard. [Some people have swimming pools. Canucks have ice rinks. Ed.]

He finished whipping it into working order and was ready to take it to his home, nearly two miles away. Mr Myshak, being a practical man, told CBC News, "I figured I'd just drive it home. Guys at work were kind of laughing after I was driving home. [They said] to drive through Timmies and get a coffee," and that's just what he did. End of story...eh.

Drunk duo commits typically Canadian crime

For those who don't know, this is a Zamboni. You use it to make a nice surface on an artificial ice rink. Every arena in North America has one.

That includes the East Calgary (Alberta, Canada) Twin Arenas. That facility is lucky, though, that manager Ross Harris was on the alert Thursday afternoon.

As he was working alone in his office, he noticed the arena's Zamboni, which was parked inside, on the move. "I happened to glance at the security camera monitor," he said "when I saw the Zamboni going outside. I really wondered what was going on!"

On investigating, Harris found two men, apparently drunk, trying to use the Zamboni to push their car off an icy patch of pavement. One of the men had walked into the building and broken into the garage area where the ice-grooming machine was parked.

Rather than offering an apology, they asked Harris if he had a truck or tow rope to help them free their car. Telling them he was going inside to get a shovel, he told co-workers to call the cops.

About five minutes later, the Calgary police were there and had the pissed partiers in custody. Using the knowledge of criminal behaviour for which the police are famous, Sgt. Kelly Oberg said alcohol appeared to be a factor.

The tanked twosome appeared in court today, charged with the most Canadian of crimes — trying to steal a Zamboni.