Another suggestion for a name for the Washington football team

Now that it has become de rigueur [= you have to do it. Poor Len.] to spell "black" with a capital B -- Black -- when referring to people we used to call Negroes or Colored, I have come up with another billiant idea -- the latest in a long line -- for a name for the NFL Team Formerly Known As Redskins.

This pure genius because it reflects the diversity [or lack thereof? Ed.] in today's National Football League and redresses the complaint of Colin Kaepernick and his fellow Blacks that they are not being shown enough `spect by the owners, the meeja, the public, and of course Still-President Trump.

I thought about "Washington All-Blacks", like the famous New Zealand football team [Actually they play rugby! Ed.], but found that name refers to their uniforms, not to the colour of their skins. The Washington team is Blacker than they are! So "All-Blacks" is out... and my suggestion is... wait for it...

The Capital Bs! Geddit?! Although the football team actually plays in Landover MD, Washington is the nation's capital, right? [What happened to Richmond? Ed.] And "Bs" is a capital B, made plural! Brilliant!

And yes, I even found a logo which will look perfect on the side of a black helmet or the shoulder of a black jersey... although visually it would be much better to have white (no capital) helmets and jerseys.

To the owners and management of the Team Formerly Known As Redskins... You're Welcome!

Footnote from Poor Len Canayen: Walt, didn't you copy that logo from a basketball team? Kinda looks like a basketball....

Suggested name change for the Washington Redskins

Agent 9 forwards an e-mail supposedly written to Chicago Tribune sports columnist Clarence Page after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page,
I agree with our Native American population. I am highly jilted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.

One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay.

We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 1960s alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folks.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well, that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.

As die-hard Oregon State fans, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than the Beavers, especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers?

I always love your articles, and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name, I would suggest they change the name to the Foreskins to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dickheads in Washington, D.C.

Sincerely, Anonymous

Poor Len Canayen adds: What about those Chicago Black Hawks?! (And yes, it's supposed to be "Black Hawks", not "Blackhawks".) Offensive to two racial groups?